strix

Hello. I'm new to these forums and desperately need feedback.

A close friend of mine who had previous problems with alcoholism recently started drinking again after a long period of sobriety. Needless to say, this upset me greatly. Earlier today I had a conversation with her voicing my concerns over her well-being. I did my best to keep the conversation civil and free of accusation, though I did get emotional (crying, etc) on occasion. Primaraly, the focus of this converstation was of concern for her rather than "stop drinking", because it's said that voicing that never ever helps.

This was my "I'm stating my feelings" converstation - the rest is up to her.

However, ONE particular facet of our talk has me questioning whether or not I might have antagonized her - I made the statement that I would never drink around or with her and she responded pretty negatively toward that and might have even gotten angry. This was the only mention of how her drinking would impact my actions towards her. Was it okay for me to voice that? It's not my intention to antagonize her. Can anyone point me toward some good resources online in dealing with loved ones who may be alcoholics? I'm getting in contact with a local chapter of AA tomorrow.

Thanks for any responses and God bless.

Peter

You might want to get in touch with your local Alanon meeting group as well as AA.

AA is more for people with a drinking problem while Alanon is for people who are in relationships with alcoholics.

We have an Alanon forum on this website.You might want to check it out.

Usually anything you say to an alcohol in reference to their drinking problem will cause them to go on the defensive, regardless of how tactful you might have been.

You did nothing wrong in expressing how you feel about certain issues.How she responds to what you say to her is not something you will have a lot of control over.

Welcome to the forum and best of luck to you.

Anna

Hi Strix,

If you like, it might be a good idea for you to check out AlAnon. There is also a forum on this board called Families and Friends of Alcoholics. You'll find lots of people in situations similar to yours on that forum.

Anna

michski

In my opinion any time you talk to an alcoholic about their drinking it will be considered antagonizing... I know how alienated I became from my best friends by them bringing up my self destructive behavior.

I would still be out there drinking if my friends and family enabled me.. They couldn't stand to see me destroy myself any longer and they detached. They left me alone in my misery and I needed that experience to get some perspective.