sad some times

This is my very first post. My AH has told me he wants a divorce.. And it breaks my heart. I guess the drinking and his family finally won. They never liked me because most of them drink. We have 3 children that are all under nine my heart breaks for them. I dont know if my husband is a true acolic he dosent drink everyday but when he does he dosent stop, To were he miss work and this is what we have been fighting about for the last week. Then finally he just said its all me that he dosent have a problem. I do. I love him with all my heart hes a great father, and use to be a good husband. I dont know what to do. I have tried talking to him. Just want some advice

Ann

Welcome Sad, and we'll have to do something about that name soon.

I don't know if you have been to an Al-Anon meeting, but it's a good place to start to regain your balance and decide what you want to do.

Also, take a read around the Family and Friends forum here and you will see many people you have been where you are. Many find that they can remain happy in a marriage with an alcoholic, that the good outweights the bad, and others cannot, and only you can decide what is right for you, and you don't have to decide today.

I'm glad you found SR and hope you'll just make yourself comfortable and join us all on our recovery journey.

Hugs
Ann

CarolD

Now you know when people argue words are thrown out to upset the other. Keep your cool and stay calm.

Do go check out the Family and Friends forum as Ann mentioned.

Blessings to all of you... Welcome to SR!

Fire_Wind_Rain

He's definitely having consequences to his drinking, and that's not a good sign.

I would throw a party if my husband asked me for a divorce personally. I'm so sick of his pot smoking, lying, betraying, blame placing self. I also have 3 kids.

sad some times

Thanks for the advice, Its very hard when my AH finds all the blame with me and no blame to him self. I know we need to talk but I have a feeling it will be everything is my fault. We have been married for 7 years and have had all kinds of problems. He comes from a long line of drinkers both his brothers got dui last week. They think im trying to change him and encourge his drinking. His family is very close and they always come to stay and thats when the drining is at its worst They will stay in the garage for days intell they finally pass out. I dont like the kids seeing this.
I wonder if to days the day he will leave

pmaslan

Hi Sad....I can understand how you may feel...I have felt that way too. There is nothing you can do to change your H drinking. You can only make changes for yourself and your children. As others have suggested please come over to the Friends and Family forum. You will find others there that have been through or are going through all that you have. Al-anon will also help you to understand this horrible disease. Remember you didn't cause it, can't control it and can't cure it. Hugs to you and your little ones....
Love, Patty