How do I stop my husband from drinking and cheating?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: pacific northwest
Posts: 45
Hey thanks for the up date. MO is that you need some help in really getting this guy out of your life. remember adultry is grounds for divorce in the bible. that is his decision. his fault. you obviously haven't wanted to just throw the marriage away and that is commendable in the world of quick divorces. but my goodness. this guy is out of control. in my opinion.
I strongly suggest you get a good counselor to help you sort if all out and deal with stress.
hang in there. mari
I strongly suggest you get a good counselor to help you sort if all out and deal with stress.
hang in there. mari
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Syracuse, New York
Posts: 21
Hi Mari!
I wish I could afford to divorce my AH. Right now we're living on $36 until I get paid on Oct. 14th. My AH says he can't afford to help out with the girls. I do realize he has extra money to buy his vodka, but even my girls have asked him to help out. He says we should be happy that we have a roof over our heads. My girls are learning how important an education is because had I not been educated, we would probably be living on the streets.
Well, at least I have my two little girls. He did do something right!!!!
Suzie
I wish I could afford to divorce my AH. Right now we're living on $36 until I get paid on Oct. 14th. My AH says he can't afford to help out with the girls. I do realize he has extra money to buy his vodka, but even my girls have asked him to help out. He says we should be happy that we have a roof over our heads. My girls are learning how important an education is because had I not been educated, we would probably be living on the streets.
Well, at least I have my two little girls. He did do something right!!!!
Suzie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: pacific northwest
Posts: 45
I'm glad you are taking care of your girls as best you can. It sounds like you won't be able to count on their father for any help.
You know people keep telling me that al-anon has a lot to offer families of addicts. You might try it. I haven't yet. but it does seem like good advice!
mari
You know people keep telling me that al-anon has a lot to offer families of addicts. You might try it. I haven't yet. but it does seem like good advice!
mari
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Syracuse, New York
Posts: 21
Hi Mari,
I do attend Al-Anon and open AA meetings. They gave me the courage to put our house on the market and move to a smaller home. I've learned a great deal from the meetings! I also like the open AA meetings because the people there help me to understand what my husband may feel. They do tell me that I should never listen to my AH as he is an alcoholic and it's usually a lie that comes from their mouths.
I'm having such a difficult time dealing with the fact that he is probably with other women during this time that we've told him he will have no contact with us. I guess I just can't imagine the fact of not being able to see my family due to a bottle and then continuing to make such poor decisions. I wish this feeling of hurt would go away. Other people have written on this forum that I must be getting something out of this relationship to have stayed so long. Far from the truth! I was raised to remain in a marriage through thick and thin. I've always been taught that alcoholism is a disease and if that is so, do we turn our backs on someone with a disease? Even some of my Al-Anon groups tell me that. Boy, does that make me feel like a real insensitive individaul when I go and tell him he cannot see us or even call us. But deep down inside, I know that I must have tough love and think of myself and my girls. If my husband really wants his life back, he would do whatever it takes to stop this insanity. I don't see any attempt to turn his life around. He just keeps using people for his benefit. I just miss the man he was back in the 80's. There was such a good person there. (Although, at times I do wonder if maybe I never really knew him!) Has he always been unfaithful and I never knew it? I'll never know.
Well, it's Friday and I was hoping to take my girls up to the Adirondack Mts. to see my parents - My father has cancer of the spine and my mother is going blind. (I don't know what I would do without them!) We may head out early tomorrow morning if the rain stops. Seeing my parents always helps to take my mind off of this nightmare. Have a nice weekend everyone!
Suzie
I do attend Al-Anon and open AA meetings. They gave me the courage to put our house on the market and move to a smaller home. I've learned a great deal from the meetings! I also like the open AA meetings because the people there help me to understand what my husband may feel. They do tell me that I should never listen to my AH as he is an alcoholic and it's usually a lie that comes from their mouths.
I'm having such a difficult time dealing with the fact that he is probably with other women during this time that we've told him he will have no contact with us. I guess I just can't imagine the fact of not being able to see my family due to a bottle and then continuing to make such poor decisions. I wish this feeling of hurt would go away. Other people have written on this forum that I must be getting something out of this relationship to have stayed so long. Far from the truth! I was raised to remain in a marriage through thick and thin. I've always been taught that alcoholism is a disease and if that is so, do we turn our backs on someone with a disease? Even some of my Al-Anon groups tell me that. Boy, does that make me feel like a real insensitive individaul when I go and tell him he cannot see us or even call us. But deep down inside, I know that I must have tough love and think of myself and my girls. If my husband really wants his life back, he would do whatever it takes to stop this insanity. I don't see any attempt to turn his life around. He just keeps using people for his benefit. I just miss the man he was back in the 80's. There was such a good person there. (Although, at times I do wonder if maybe I never really knew him!) Has he always been unfaithful and I never knew it? I'll never know.
Well, it's Friday and I was hoping to take my girls up to the Adirondack Mts. to see my parents - My father has cancer of the spine and my mother is going blind. (I don't know what I would do without them!) We may head out early tomorrow morning if the rain stops. Seeing my parents always helps to take my mind off of this nightmare. Have a nice weekend everyone!
Suzie
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