ladyrosie

Hello, This is very emberassing for me to talk to everybody about this situation, but I must seek help... I have a 23 year old daughter that drinks and with a couple of drinks she blacks out. She does not drink every day, she is a social drinker, however she can not handle alcohol at all. This has gotten to be a problem in our lives now. She has come to 3 very close insidents that were very very dangerous for her. 1st time we were at a restaurant haveing lunch with friends and she was at the bar and met a guy and when we left she desided to stay a couple of minuets with him... We it turned out that she blacked out and ended up with her car stuck in the railroad tracks and we had to call Auto Club to pull her out. 2nd time she went out with her boyfriend and got upset at him and started to drink and walked out on him and went with another guy.. By this time she was blacked out and is always able to function still. Well her boyfriend was very worried because he could not find her to bring her back home. He called me and I put out a police search. Well she came back home in a taxi cab at 6:30 am... The taxi driver said she did not know where she was and was unable to give him the address so he waited for her to sober up to bring her home. This taxi guy was very nice because she could have ended up being raped. The 3rd time.... was this saturday night. She went out to a club with a friend and had 2 drinks... She blacked out and got very mean and did not allow anybody to drive her home. She ended up lost with a flat tire and called me to find her... I was unable to find her in the entire night because she did not now where she was. She was in a very very bad part of town. Some guy knocked on her window and asked her if she needed help so he changed her tire and drove her home. she offered to pay him, but did no have money with her. So, she told him to comeback the next day for the money. She went to work that morning and the guy come knocked on my door and told me he was the guy that help my daughter and wanted to be paid. I gave him $20.00 and told him to leave. This guy looked like he had been on drugs, he was a total freak and ugly and spooky looking. I don't know how my daughter accepted for him to drive her home. We it turned out the guy did not leave. He fell asleep in my front yard. So I called my ex husband to come over and ask this guy to leave. So he did. He left for a couple of hours and came back that night. He banged and banged on the door and wanted us to open the door, so we called the police... They arrested him and was taken off in the police car. Now we fear for our lives because this guy knows wehre we live. My daughter is the sweetest person. Very giving and loveable and very smart but when she drinks she turns into a monster. Please help me...

desperate mom

FaeryQueen

ladyrosie,
That sounds alot like my early drinking career. I did a lot of crazy, dangerous things during blackouts.
I literally found it physically impossible to stop drinking once I started, thus heading into blackouts and very bad behavior. Normal people will either get sick or pass out, while the alcoholic keeps right on craving and drinking in a blackout.....classic symptom of alcoholism. Of course only your daughter can decide if she is indeed an alcoholic. All you can do is take care of yourself and reach out to people who have "been there".
You will find lots of support on the Alanon forum where there are lots of people who know how to deal with these things and stay sane in the process. Try posting there too.
Welcome to SR
Peace be to you.

historyteach

Ladyrosie;
First, welcome to SR!
You've come to a great place to receive the support you need and deserve. Please take a look around the boards; I think you'll find the Friends and Families of Alcoholics boards the most useful in your circumstance.
Be sure to read the stickys at the top of the forum. They are filled with the wisdom gained from experience.
Your daughter has a drinking problem. Maybe she's an alcoholic, maybe not. But, her relationship with alcohol is not healthy. And with the way she is reacting to such small amounts of alcohol, well, have you considered that she may be doing other things, like drugs, too? Just a thought.
You will find many good people here who know exactly what you are going through. Because we are too! So, put your feet up; relax a spell and have yourself some good reading time. Post as often as you need. We understand; we care.
Shalom!

angelgirl

Is your daughter unwilling to get help for her drinking?
There isn't alot you can do. But you do have the choice whether you should support her or not. Maybe if you tell her she either gets help, or she moves out of your house (I assume she lives with you?) then maybe she would get help. You can tell her you will play no part in her drinking anymore... You will not pick her up, or take her anywhere. You will stop doing anything for her if she continues to drink, and tell her she needs to get help...
That's MY opinion. You can't make anyone stop drinking, but you can make it harder for them by not playing a part in it. It's very, very hard to do, I am a mom, and my son does drugs. He does not live at home. I will not help him until he stops doing the drugs. I's hard, because we love them and don't want anything to happen to them. But if they continue in the destructive path they are on, they will die..
How about suggesting AA to her??

Let us knw how it works out..
And WELCOME to SR. Great place!!! Love, Becky

angelgirl

By the way, I don't mean to sound harsh. I DO know how you feel. But it is necessary sometimes to lay everything out on the table, and let them know we will no longer stand for the destructive lifestyle she is living.

I agree with Teach, read, read, read, and post, post, post.. It all helps very much...

Love, Becky

ladyrosie

I want to thank all of you for your great support. Sometimes I feel guilty because I drink also. Only socialy on Fridays for happy hour but I feel I can handle my drinking. I feel guilty because I feel that she does it because I do it. You all are great in your replys... You have been great support... Love you all