Loulouise

I found out last week that my son (35) is and has been a Meth addict for over 12 years. I have been in Alanon for a few years as a result of parents and other son's addiction but have been blown out of the water with this one. I haven't called my sponsor and I know I should but know all I am going to do is cry. I was the last to know and am in shock. He has a large family and has thrown them away as he is not at step one and is very active in his addiction. I am trying very hard to practice the three C's and to Let Go with Love but don't understand WHY his addiction was kept from me and why I didn't see it. I feel duped by my Ex and DIL and really dumb. :tissue I think that covers it.

minnie

(((loulouise)))

Welcome to SR. You've found a great place for help and support through this difficult time.

I would suggest that you check out the Nar-anon forum, but the friends and family one might be worth looking at from the al-anon point of view.

Looking forward to getting to know you.

Love

Minnie
xxx

historyteach

(((Loulouise)))
I'm sorry that your ex and your DIL kept this as a secret from you.
People often do things *thinking* they are protecting another. They don't stop to realize the betrayal you will feel when you know the truth finally. And you will always find out, sooner or later.
It sounds as if they are both very codependent, controlling the information that you receive. They're dealing with this family illness too.
I'm so glad that you have a background in alanon. You've got a head's up more than many of us who come here completely befuddled.
It's ok that you're upset. It's ok that you feel the way you do. But, you are NOT dumb. You know what you have to do. So, although it's ok that you were caught off guard here, with the news of you son, just don't stay in that place for too long. Take a day or so; call your sponsor; continue to come here for support, (you're gonna find plenty of support here! ), and then get out your recovery toolbox.
You can manage this. You can take care of yourself. You can live your life. You can be happy. And, you do know this...don't you...
WIth a little help from your friends...
I hope to see you here often as we both grow in our recovery.
Shalom!

Loulouise

Thank You for the support. I sent the Ex and DIL Nar-anon info (I needed to for me). I am reading the Nar-Anon info myself and will call my Sponsor and ask a few questions when I figure out what they are. I haven't heard from my AS yet and am sure it would be best if I don't, but we all know he will get around to me sooner or later and I will be ready when that time comes. I will switch over to the Nar-Anon board , Thanks again.