kicking myself again
 

i,m back to day one again, i went 8 days and then last night i drank, a friend was suppose to go to a meeting with me and didn't return my call and i stopped and bought a bottle, even told myself that i didn't have to drink it just because i bought, yeah sure; i stopped myself wednesday night when the urge was strong, why didn't i do it last night; i am so angry with myself right now and wondering how i am going to face my cousin this morning, he has 13 years of soberity and went with me to a meeting last friday night, this morning i am suppose to pick him up at 8:45 and do some shopping and go to a meeting, all i want to do is hide, but i know i can't; i am so disappointed in myself; i am going to work harder at staying sober, i have decided to start going to meetings at lunchtime, i will go into work early and just take a long lunch, there are several meeting locations within 10 minutes of where i work, i have to get to as many as i can; i also know that not having cash on me helps a lot too

Hey it is a new 24 hours... think about yesterday long enough to figure out what you might have done differently (like go to a meeting and stay out of liquor stores) and then get past it.... stay in the right now, I heard (and like) this,
if you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, you are pissing all over today..... :tongue2:

thanks for the encouragement, i want so much to stop; the first week wasn't too tough and i stopped myself the first time i got cravings, i should have called my cousin to go to a meeting when my friend didn't call me back; i've got to start using the telephone and call someone when i'm in need of some help

I'm glad your back it shows that you realy want to quit! I too struggled in the beggining but I finally surrendered and the cravings were removed. I just kept asking for help to stay straight every morning and thanking my HP at night. I did not have much of a connection with HP but as I continued to stay sober one day at a time I began to see that it was working. I got a sponsor read the big book and started working on the steps and that was a long time ago now. As long as you keep trying eventually your cravings will be removed and it will get easier. The most important thing that I have always remebered was to continue to ask for help. AA gave me the tools to work on myself I picked up those tools and started to build a new life. It has been well worth the effort. Take care and keep coming back you will make it!

Yeah, I've noticed that the first week (at least for me) was a breeze, but this second week is a lot tougher. Just hang in there, man. One slip doesn't mean you've fallen all the way back down the mountain.:) Take care, Mo

thanks for the replys; i know i can make it, just harder than i thought it would be; and i don't want to admit to my cousin that i drank last night

Ok
 

Pistol...you slid a little...most of us do. :wink3:

Your cousin wull inderstand and the secret of your drinking will bug you. Please recomsider and tell him.

You can do this! :)

You are back and ready to try again-- that is the important thing. Don't worry about the slip up that you had- most people have those a some point in their recovery. Just remember that right now is the most important time and keep going forward. Yesterday is in the past. You are getting a new chance here. Keep any kind of booze out of your place so you won't be tempted. Don't buy any new bottles to have around.

You can do this. talk to your cousin and just be honest. Secrets keep us sick is the phrase that I heard. So just open up and let your cousin know what happened.

Stick with it and keep on going forward.

You can do it-- just keep on going!:)

i just got home from spending time with my cousin and i told him the truth and he was so kind, i am so grateful for having him in my life right now, it is hard for me to ask for help from anyone for anything, i will learn to though because i do want to quit; thanks all for being there and for all your support and encouragement;

If you still have that bottle, empty it and stick a penny in it. Add a penny for every day you stay sober. If you run out of room, you can change in pennies for nickels, etc.

Get to as many meetings as possible. 90 (or more) in 90.

-pedagogue

Hey pistol--sometimes those "cravings" can be thrown off track with a little chocolate
"fix"--I suggest to my sponsees to carry little hershey kisses with them as an emergency stash. You may find it helpful--good for you for coming back--you're not a failure as long as you keep trying. It is helpful as mentioned before to ask God to keep you sober in the morning (on your knees). At the beginning of the meeting they read the "rarely have we seen a person fail (chapter)--I love the a/b/c part A they we were alcoholic and could not manage our own life--B-That no human power could restore us to sanity/ and C--THAT GOD COULD AND WOULD IF HE WERE SOUGHT. That's a beautiful promise. Blessings

thanks for the helpful suggestions, i will try to find something to take the edge off of the cravings; nope don't still have the bottle, i poured it out last night before i went to bed; but i like the thing about putting a penny in a bottle though