Heroin. Seeking help from those with experience
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: pine bush, ny
Posts: 5
Heroin. Seeking help from those with experience
Hello. I suspect that boyfriend may be using heroin on rare occassion. I know all of the "general" signs/symptoms (slurred speech, lethargy, "pin-point" pupils, euphoria, etc) but I do not have any personal experience with this drug nor have I ever had someone close to me that has - so I have some specific questions/curiousities.
First, let me explain this persons situation so far as I know it from them:
My boyfriend used heroin for a couple of years (intravenous) and overdosed (allegedly on purpose) exactly one year ago and has been clean since ( a full year). I've been close with people who have been addicted to various substances aside from Heroin but he does not show any of the regular signs of a drug addict. On a daily basis: His personality is very stable, he has maintained a good job and is always on time, he is very clean, his energy levels are normal, etc etc.
What causes my alarm, however, is that about once every two-three weeks, I notice a big difference in him. He gets off work earlier than me so I notice it when I come home. His pupils are extremely dilated at these times, he doesn't so much slur as mumble or talk very laxed. He'll hop in the car with me and go have dinner or something but then when we get hom and get comfortable on the couch - he starts to go on the nod... if he has a cigarette in his hand and he's holding it up high, his hand/arm will slowly start to drop and sometimes he drops the cigarette alltogether then pops back up. He's also very smiley and affectionate during these times... he lavishes me with attention and acts totally in love with me. On a daily basis he is an affectionate person and we have a beautiful relationshionship, but on these nights it's as if he could cry he's so in love. except for nodding he's very coherent though... and, although his facial muscles are very relaxed and his smile is very lazy, his eyelids are not droopy. On one occassion I mentioned that his pupils were tiny and he told me that he had taken a muscle relaxer, but on a couple of other occassions when I asked if he was on something, he denied anything entirely. This only happens once every two-three weeks (as I said) and it lasts throughout the evening (I get home and notice around 6:00pm). When I go to bed at around 10:00-11:00pm, he tries to go to sleep too but on those nights, he usually wakes up a lot or will sleep for a little bit and then be up all night, unable to sleep. I don't know what to make of this because some of it contradicts my perceptions of the signs of heroin use... so I have some questions.
1) Is it possible that someone can use heroin on such rare occassion as once every 2-3 weeks?
2) I never notice any sniffling, red nose, or runny nose. If he was shooting, wouldn't tracks still show up, or would it be seldom enough that they possibly wouldnt?
3) Would it be possible for him to be so coherent and not all totally passed out if he was high?
4) I was under the impression that heroin sort of put you in your own world of euphoria. I've heard people say before that they were single when they were on heroin because "Heroin was their girlfriend". Can heroin actually make someone MORE affectionate and loving than normal?
Maybe it's not heroin - maybe it's something else. I know that morphine is another depressent that can have such effects as the one I described.
If anyone has enough experience or inner knowledge to help me out, I'd really appreciate it. Please answer my questions if possible and also let me know if you think that, from what I described, he is doing heroin. Or, if it doesn't sound like heroin, than what? I know he's doing something. It's too drastic of a difference on just those rare occassions. Also - if you do think it's heroin, could you please suggest to me how I should approach him in asking him about it. Thank you so much to anyone who offers advise.
Sonny
First, let me explain this persons situation so far as I know it from them:
My boyfriend used heroin for a couple of years (intravenous) and overdosed (allegedly on purpose) exactly one year ago and has been clean since ( a full year). I've been close with people who have been addicted to various substances aside from Heroin but he does not show any of the regular signs of a drug addict. On a daily basis: His personality is very stable, he has maintained a good job and is always on time, he is very clean, his energy levels are normal, etc etc.
What causes my alarm, however, is that about once every two-three weeks, I notice a big difference in him. He gets off work earlier than me so I notice it when I come home. His pupils are extremely dilated at these times, he doesn't so much slur as mumble or talk very laxed. He'll hop in the car with me and go have dinner or something but then when we get hom and get comfortable on the couch - he starts to go on the nod... if he has a cigarette in his hand and he's holding it up high, his hand/arm will slowly start to drop and sometimes he drops the cigarette alltogether then pops back up. He's also very smiley and affectionate during these times... he lavishes me with attention and acts totally in love with me. On a daily basis he is an affectionate person and we have a beautiful relationshionship, but on these nights it's as if he could cry he's so in love. except for nodding he's very coherent though... and, although his facial muscles are very relaxed and his smile is very lazy, his eyelids are not droopy. On one occassion I mentioned that his pupils were tiny and he told me that he had taken a muscle relaxer, but on a couple of other occassions when I asked if he was on something, he denied anything entirely. This only happens once every two-three weeks (as I said) and it lasts throughout the evening (I get home and notice around 6:00pm). When I go to bed at around 10:00-11:00pm, he tries to go to sleep too but on those nights, he usually wakes up a lot or will sleep for a little bit and then be up all night, unable to sleep. I don't know what to make of this because some of it contradicts my perceptions of the signs of heroin use... so I have some questions.
1) Is it possible that someone can use heroin on such rare occassion as once every 2-3 weeks?
2) I never notice any sniffling, red nose, or runny nose. If he was shooting, wouldn't tracks still show up, or would it be seldom enough that they possibly wouldnt?
3) Would it be possible for him to be so coherent and not all totally passed out if he was high?
4) I was under the impression that heroin sort of put you in your own world of euphoria. I've heard people say before that they were single when they were on heroin because "Heroin was their girlfriend". Can heroin actually make someone MORE affectionate and loving than normal?
Maybe it's not heroin - maybe it's something else. I know that morphine is another depressent that can have such effects as the one I described.
If anyone has enough experience or inner knowledge to help me out, I'd really appreciate it. Please answer my questions if possible and also let me know if you think that, from what I described, he is doing heroin. Or, if it doesn't sound like heroin, than what? I know he's doing something. It's too drastic of a difference on just those rare occassions. Also - if you do think it's heroin, could you please suggest to me how I should approach him in asking him about it. Thank you so much to anyone who offers advise.
Sonny
Future Philanthropist
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 233
Sonny, I have no direct experience with these drugs, but you may be able to find a more knowledgeable individual in the 'Drug Addiction' forums here.
From what I hear more and more people are sniffing and smoking heroin than taking it through the needle, mostly out of fear of dirty needles.
From what I hear more and more people are sniffing and smoking heroin than taking it through the needle, mostly out of fear of dirty needles.
No expectations!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
Welcome to SR,
Sonnygirl!
[/I]Sonnygirl!
While I don't have much experience with heroin, I was addicted to other narcotics (for example, morphine) and used IV. I am also a healthcare professional and I know alot about narcotics. It's a confusing picture you've presented. If his pupils weren't DILATED, I'd say sure it could be heroin. The pupils are generally only dilated when someone's detoxing.
Someone COULD use heroin occasionally, though I think it's pretty rare. Some of what you described made me think it may be pot he's on. All this aside, I suggest you try going to Nar-Anon and checkout the Nar-Anon forum here at SR. They can help you learn to deal with the situation you're in. Also, feel free to send me a personal message if you like. I wish you both well!
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: pine bush, ny
Posts: 5
Heroin...
Thanks very much for the replies... Im new to the site (just joined today because of my concern) so I didn't realize there were more specific forums. I wanted to clarify, also, that I mis-typed before... his pupils weren't dilated as in large.. they were constricted, like little pin-pricks in his eyes... even in a dim room where they SHOULD be dilated to see better, they remained just as tiny. I have a lot of first hand experience with drugs and drug users but fortunately (unfortunately in this case I guess), Heroin is the one drug I've never experienced or had the signs/symptoms explained in detail to me. I will try the other forums too - thanks so much guys!
Sonny
Sonny
No expectations!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
Originally Posted by SonnyGirl
1) Is it possible that someone can use heroin on such rare occassion as once every 2-3 weeks?
2) I never notice any sniffling, red nose, or runny nose. If he was shooting, wouldn't tracks still show up, or would it be seldom enough that they possibly wouldnt?
3) Would it be possible for him to be so coherent and not all totally passed out if he was high?
4) I was under the impression that heroin sort of put you in your own world of euphoria. I've heard people say before that they were single when they were on heroin because "Heroin was their girlfriend". Can heroin actually make someone MORE affectionate and loving than normal?
2) I never notice any sniffling, red nose, or runny nose. If he was shooting, wouldn't tracks still show up, or would it be seldom enough that they possibly wouldnt?
3) Would it be possible for him to be so coherent and not all totally passed out if he was high?
4) I was under the impression that heroin sort of put you in your own world of euphoria. I've heard people say before that they were single when they were on heroin because "Heroin was their girlfriend". Can heroin actually make someone MORE affectionate and loving than normal?
1) Yes, it's possible, though rare.
2) There may not be any tracks. Also, like 2tough said, he may be smoking or snorting.
3) Yes, I used to get wired when I was high and was very lucid.
4) Narcotics impair the ability to achieve orgasm, so I think that's why they have a reputation for decreasing interest in sex. But they do give one that "afterglow" feeling, so one might be more snuggly and such when using.
Feel free to PM me, too, if you like!
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Simply Sober
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Lubbock, Texas
Posts: 66
Hi, I think I can help!!
Originally Posted by SonnyGirl
1) Is it possible that someone can use heroin on such rare occassion as once every 2-3 weeks?
2) I never notice any sniffling, red nose, or runny nose. If he was shooting, wouldn't tracks still show up, or would it be seldom enough that they possibly wouldnt?
3) Would it be possible for him to be so coherent and not all totally passed out if he was high?
4) I was under the impression that heroin sort of put you in your own world of euphoria. I've heard people say before that they were single when they were on heroin because "Heroin was their girlfriend". Can heroin actually make someone MORE affectionate and loving than normal?
If anyone has enough experience or inner knowledge to help me out, I'd really appreciate it. Please answer my questions if possible and also let me know if you think that, from what I described, he is doing heroin. Or, if it doesn't sound like heroin, than what? I know he's doing something. It's too drastic of a difference on just those rare occassions. Also - if you do think it's heroin, could you please suggest to me how I should approach him in asking him about it. Thank you so much to anyone who offers advise.
Sonny
2) I never notice any sniffling, red nose, or runny nose. If he was shooting, wouldn't tracks still show up, or would it be seldom enough that they possibly wouldnt?
3) Would it be possible for him to be so coherent and not all totally passed out if he was high?
4) I was under the impression that heroin sort of put you in your own world of euphoria. I've heard people say before that they were single when they were on heroin because "Heroin was their girlfriend". Can heroin actually make someone MORE affectionate and loving than normal?
If anyone has enough experience or inner knowledge to help me out, I'd really appreciate it. Please answer my questions if possible and also let me know if you think that, from what I described, he is doing heroin. Or, if it doesn't sound like heroin, than what? I know he's doing something. It's too drastic of a difference on just those rare occassions. Also - if you do think it's heroin, could you please suggest to me how I should approach him in asking him about it. Thank you so much to anyone who offers advise.
Sonny
1) I never was able to do that & I never knew anyone else that could do that either....but I did know people that were on Methadone (something people use to get off of Heroin that is more addicting & dangerous than Heroin in my opinion...I never used Methadone....when I came off of Heroin, I took a few Vicodines & a few Thorizines--pain killers & strong mental meds--at first, but eventually kicked--withdrew from Heroin--cold turkey) that could use on rare occasions supposedly...I never seen it with my own two eyes so I don't really believe it...so that is my experience on this question!!
2) Yes, if he was shooting up...there should be marks where ever he was shooting up but he can shoot up basically anywhere on his body that there is a vein...if he is doing the Methadone Maintence Program, I have know people that drank the Methadone....you can sniff Heroin, usually you get the sniffles...you can smoke Heroin on foil or in a pipe, some people cough alot when they smoke & some people don't cough alot when they smoke....I pretty much only shot my dope anywhere and everywhere that I could find a vein but I also muscled it (shot it into a muscle, he could be doing this...never really leaves a mark except on women cuz' women bruise easier then men), I smoked it, and I sniffed it but I prefered veins...this is my experience with this question!!
3) Hell yes!! It is called building up a tolerance level!! I almost never nodded out once I got such a high tolerance level near the end of my Heroin use....but I also stayed really sick cuz' I had such a high tolerance level, I was not on Methadone, and I could not afford my habit anymore so I had to quit, go to prison for life, go to a mental institution for life, &/or die....I chose to quit cold turkey...it has not been easy, but I have done it one day at a time, and I am grateful everyday to not have a monkey on my back named Heroin!! Now, he is either totally completely clean & sober and your are paranoid & not very trusting of him yet; or he is on Methadone by itself, or something else by itself, or a combination of things by their selves, or one of them with Heroin, and you are not paranoid & he is a dishonest addict that needs help and prayers but won't get help as long as he is in denial, which he is in denial as long as he is not being honest, which only God & he knows the truth about whether he is being honest or not, so he needs you to pray your ass off for him and for you to accept him as he is...this is my experience!!
4) Hell, yes!! Some of the best sex, love, comfort, etc, etc was when I was high on Heroin, and/or other drugs.....that is a very little part of why I originally did Heroin and/or other drugs....they enhanced sex, love, comfort, etc, etc so much that I was in euphoria!!! That is a little part of why Heroin &/or other drugs are/can be so addicting at first!! That is my experience!!
I can not tell you whether he is doing Heroin, Methadone, &/or any other drug, alcohol, etc, etc because I am not him and I am taught by my AA sponsor not to take other people's inventories which is what you are doing!! Sorry, please don't be offended...I am just being honest...I do not think that you should approach him at all....I do think that if you are one of us (an Alcholic or Addict or both) then you should seek help for yourself & work your on program & pray your ass off for yourself & him & others....but if you are not one of us, then I think that you should check out Alanon or Narcanon for yourself, work your own program, and pray your ass off for yourself, for him, and for others!!
I hope that I helped you some even though I was long winded!! This is my experience, strength, and hope...I hope that I have not offended you or anyone else that reads this!!
No expectations!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
Originally Posted by simply sober
but if you are not one of us, then I think that you should check out Alanon or Narcanon for yourself
Thanks so much for coming along, Sam! I'm glad you had some REAL experience to share. When it comes to heroin, I'm mostly book-learned, though I did my share of shooting "pharmies."
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: New Haven, CT
Posts: 8
I can relate to you!
SonnyGirl, I sent this to you via email but SR kicked me off so Im not sure if you got it so Ill post here.....
Hi SonnyGirl,
After reading your post on the new comers thread I could barely contain myself because I am going through the same thing with my BF. He admitted he had a problem a couple of months ago (even though I KNEW it was going on...I would find bundles of heroin and he would try to tell me it was coke...Im smarter than that!). Anyway, he never used intravenously, only snort it. So after realizing that the reason he was getting sick all the time was because he was addicted, he went on Suboxone...which he has since tapered and is done with.
Like your BF, he is very normal...holds down a job etc....BUT...like you every so often he changes. And I get scared he may be using again. Tell tale signs...pin point pupils, inability to focus on one thing....could become very quicktempered, but also on the flip side could be OVERLY affectionate.
So needless to say, I worry. Big time. Can your bf be using any other opiates such as Oxycotin (thats what started my BFs addiction in the first place).
And thats what I worry about. He thinks he can actually on occasion use a painkiller for recreation. And Im scared he may go down that same path. All I know is I cant STAND him when he is on opiates. Besides that he is a wonderful person. And unfortunately the I dont know if I can get over the damage his addiction has caused (the MONEY! The LIES!)
Anyway I totally think is possible for your BF to use on occasion. Question is will he be able to stop? You should always trust your gut instinct. Every time I trusted mine I was usually right.
Email me back if you would like to talk more.
Take care, and hope to hear from you.
Hi SonnyGirl,
After reading your post on the new comers thread I could barely contain myself because I am going through the same thing with my BF. He admitted he had a problem a couple of months ago (even though I KNEW it was going on...I would find bundles of heroin and he would try to tell me it was coke...Im smarter than that!). Anyway, he never used intravenously, only snort it. So after realizing that the reason he was getting sick all the time was because he was addicted, he went on Suboxone...which he has since tapered and is done with.
Like your BF, he is very normal...holds down a job etc....BUT...like you every so often he changes. And I get scared he may be using again. Tell tale signs...pin point pupils, inability to focus on one thing....could become very quicktempered, but also on the flip side could be OVERLY affectionate.
So needless to say, I worry. Big time. Can your bf be using any other opiates such as Oxycotin (thats what started my BFs addiction in the first place).
And thats what I worry about. He thinks he can actually on occasion use a painkiller for recreation. And Im scared he may go down that same path. All I know is I cant STAND him when he is on opiates. Besides that he is a wonderful person. And unfortunately the I dont know if I can get over the damage his addiction has caused (the MONEY! The LIES!)
Anyway I totally think is possible for your BF to use on occasion. Question is will he be able to stop? You should always trust your gut instinct. Every time I trusted mine I was usually right.
Email me back if you would like to talk more.
Take care, and hope to hear from you.
No expectations!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
SaturnRules,
I don't think we are ever "done with" our addiction. Staying clean usually requires help and a program of recovery. Does your boyfriend go to any kind of meetings? I strongly recommend NA for him. It saves my life every day.
And for the girlfriends, family, and friends, there is Nar-Anon or Al-Anon to help us learn to take care of us. I recommend their meetings, too. My husband and I are both recovering addicts, so I go to NA regularly and Al-Anon occasionally. That helps me, too.
I wish you all the best of recovery!
Love and hugs,
Eddie
I don't think we are ever "done with" our addiction. Staying clean usually requires help and a program of recovery. Does your boyfriend go to any kind of meetings? I strongly recommend NA for him. It saves my life every day.
And for the girlfriends, family, and friends, there is Nar-Anon or Al-Anon to help us learn to take care of us. I recommend their meetings, too. My husband and I are both recovering addicts, so I go to NA regularly and Al-Anon occasionally. That helps me, too.
I wish you all the best of recovery!
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Simply Sober
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Lubbock, Texas
Posts: 66
I Really Have Personal Experience.....
From Myself and not from my boyfriend or anyone else.....oxycotin can cause the same reaction as what has been described as can all pain killers but in my experience Heroin is an all or nothing drug!! Thanks for clearing up the Naranon or whatever it is called for me cuz' I have no idea what it is called since I am a total addict and alcoholic myself!! Praying my butt off for ya'll ladies and ya'll's boyfriends and ya'll's families too!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: pine bush, ny
Posts: 5
Hi... sorry that I haven't responded sooner but I work a lot during the week. I have been checking everyone's responses from my desk at work, though, and It's really wonderful to have gotten so many replies, so much advice, and so many kind words. When you love someone, it's easy to ignore what's right in front of your face and I thought that talking would help me out - and it has. Just putting into words the truth that has been staring me in my face (and that I've been pushing away) has helped. But also getting some answers, some shared knowledge, and shared experience has helped me a lot more as well. It might NOT be heroin that he's been using on occassion - especially judging from my own previous knowledge and the sort of replies I've gotten. But I no longer can deny that it IS something, and I'm sure that it's an opiate based drug (The nodding, the constricted pupils, touching his face, etc). I know him pretty well and I'm optimistic about the outcome. I have my idea of how to approach him and to help him. If he does not want to stop or does not want to try, however, I am very familiar with alcoholics and drug addicts and noone needs to worry - I won't try to be a hero at the risk of harming myself - I know better than to fight a battle I cant win. Like I said though - I have a good feeling and am optimistic about this and I thank everyone for their replies. It was so nice to read so much compassion, concern, and understanding between the lines. I think these forums are a really great outlet and I think there are a lot of great souls that make their way here. Thank you all again.
Sonny
Sonny
Simply Sober
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Lubbock, Texas
Posts: 66
Much luv, hugs, and prayers being sent to ya'll from me!!
Originally Posted by eddie z.
You're entirely welcome! And do keep in touch, OK?
Love and hugs,
Eddie
P.S. You're welcome, too, Sam! You crack me up sometimes.
Love and hugs,
Eddie
P.S. You're welcome, too, Sam! You crack me up sometimes.
I luv you too, eddie!!
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