2dayzmuse

Not so easy my friend. If it were, than wants the problem? I wouldn't be here, you wouldn't be here. The halls would be empty. You get my drift? My loved ones use to tell me to just quit. I wanted it to be that simple, but it wasn't. I tried a million times to just quit. Anyways, most of us know that story. Been there done that... I needed much more. Much, much more than that. I have quit drinking. It took alot of work to get where I am today. It is worth it though, very much so. Never give up. You are worth the fight.

:aasmile

tyler

Never said it was easy, but it is the truth. Statistics back it up. Not trying to be argumentative here, but facts is facts. Not bashing any program, whatever it takes I say. If you need a program to stop, use a program, whatever works works. It is a very individual thing.

lulu70

What ARE you going to do to stay sober? I am in no way saying you can't, I'm just wonder if you have thought about what you will do instead of drinking and drugging. I cannot imagine anyone being able to stay sober without a plan for abstinence. I guess that is part of why I chose AA. That way I had an easy to follow "recipe for success." So far it has worked for me. Just think--maybe someday you will have your own program with a fellowship of people who also found sobriety. And I am NOT joking!

I am truly glad that you feel you have a new found conviction. Hang in there. It will get better!

kckman

Tyler, what does it matter how you get sober except that you do it. It does not matter how you do it. "What ever it takes"... works for me.

2dayzmuse

Sure whatever works for you, I'm all for it. In the long run, time will tell. The important thing is to find a program that does work. If it isn't working, find something that does. Good luck...

pedagogue

Statistics also back up that people who use two or more methods in conjunction do much better than those who use only 1 method of recovery. This doesn't mean two different 'groups', but people who may be in AA AND also have a strong support network (friends/family) to help her.

-pedagogue

Greatful2004

Hi Tyler,

I don't think you meant this to turn into a debate over working a program. It's a shame how often this happens on this board.

I think I understand the intent of your message, and I know that you have been working very hard to get sober. Good luck to you my friend, I know you can do it!!
Lisa

tyler

Hey all, I'm out of the backwoods of Maine now and back to a place with the internet!! It was kinda a hard few days, my Grandmother is really fading fast. She's 91 and I really doubt she will make it through the winter. She has constant care, but at least is still able to live in her house and live somewhat of a "normal" life. I was pretty much left to my own devices for the last few days, was staying out in the guest house and the though crossed my mind to get a 12-pack, but I just told myself that "that wasn't Me anymore", and moved on.

It was also rough unexpectedly because it brought back alot of memories of when my ex and I had visited up there. We only went up there twice, but there were alot of memories, good ones, but a bit meloncholy now. I wrote in my journal about it and that seemed to help some.

As far as working a program, I do work with much of the material from SMART. I use alot of CBT techniques for dealing with cravings and such. One thing that I need to deal with is my self-hatred, as I know if I don't it will catch up with me eventually. What I've decided to do is write down everything that I beat myself up over, everything I can think of, I will then take it and have a little cermony where I will burn it and take the ashes and spread them at the beach (a spirtual place for me). Kinda a fourth step experience I guess. With that I hope to put those feelings to rest and stop whipping myself over things that I can do nothing about.

So anyway, that's up with me. Spent a nice day on the coast of Maine today and plan to go to the beach on the way out tomorrow so I can commune with the ocean, the closest thing to a HP that I have. Thanks for all the support and suggestions.

wantneeda

Hi tyler...nice to see you!!!
I posted a thread on the newcomers board...with you first and foremost in mind...
Its titled...for those who aren't into AA...with a link...check it out and let me know what you think...
\\//Wendy

lulu70

Glad to hear you are doing so well, Tyler. And that you were able to spend some quality time with your Grandmother. It is a miraculous thing to be able to truly be present for our loved ones, instead of wrapped up in the alcohol and addiction.

Glad you are back!!!

Hugs--

pedagogue

That is a great idea.

I have seen this done a few different ways, and it can very powerful. I've done it before with children. I had them write down a similar list, 'sign off' on them, and the bury the box. If you use a biodegradable box, you can fill it with soil and plant a tree/flowers somewhere. It is a reminder of the good that can come out of ridding yourself of the negatives.

A friend of mine did the sacrifice of guilt and regret. She spread the ashes in an old jump field (for horses), that was in the middle fo the woods. She would meditate there, and she felt at peace.

-pedagogue

kckman

Tyler, it is always good to hear from you again. It sounds like you did well living with your own devices. It is good to believe and trust in yourself. Take care and goodluck with your plan. It sounds like it is working for you.

pra richard

Hi,you seem very positive about yourself, which i might like to add is what it is all about. Yourself. No higher power or loved one is ultimately going to do this for you. You can only do this by having the right frame of mind. We all can do anything we want if we decide to do it. metta monk richard