mickelina

:hello2 well here I am again..I have not done well and to be honest I feel like as long as I have to be near my family whom I really really love I feel like I have to drink or do something so that I do not go crazy...examples if I may.. My mom lives with her sister ALL they do is argue about absolutely nothing..My Brother has not had a steady jobin 16 years..He lives rent free in my dads house all he does is drink smoke pot play guitar and speak to my mom like she is garbage...I will not bore you with anymore just wanted to give you some insight on what I deal with..I want to be a better person but in all reality I do not know what to do..........I know there is AA but there is also FAMILY ISSUES...Thank You for letting me vent......

Anna

Hi Mickelina,

There are ALWAYS going to be reasons to drink. Every single one of us has plenty of reasons to want to drink. It comes down to making a choice, regardless of your family situation or friends or whatever the issues may be. If you have problems with your family, then you can ask them for support with your recovery or if that doesn't work you can try distancing yourself from your family until you feel more stable.

I hope you keep visiting.

Love, Anna

CarolD

to know you are here.

Your Mom and Aunt have a way to relate that is none o of your business. Your brother is also none of your business. Who put you in charge?

What is your business? Living a clean and sober life of joy.

Get busy and find your life.

LVNitUP

OUCH....you guys....that was a bit harsh!!
True...maybe, but harsh!
We are all here to help each other and I have seen may other posts here that seem to sound like they do not understand 'how it works' and turned to us in desperation. So can we please be gentle?

mickelina, my friend.....these people are right....you can only be responsible for yourself!! And there will always be reasons to DRINK or DRUG....the sky is blue, the sky isn't blue....etc.
The point here is that you have to take control of your happiness....do you want to be, or not?
Don't worry about what everyone else is doing....focus on yourself, and then you will be making progress.
We all have FAMILY issues....or we would not be addicts....we all have ran from something in our lives.

LVNitUP

Set them aside for a moment and take inventory on yourself.....not their mistakes, but your own...we have all made them, and probably will continue in the future....that thing we call 'HUMAN'!!
We love you here and are very glad that you found us for comfort and support. Please keep posting and stay strong for yourself no matter how hard the outside world hits you....and it can be cruel, but not any worse than the damage that we are already doing to ourselves and loved ones!!
God Bless!!

sickk&tired

Hi Mickelina,

Boy do I know how you feel. I used my family's insanity as a reason to drink sooo many times. Then I would wake up hung over, cranky, feeling bad about myself, and they would seem even worse to me. So I would drink again.............and the cycle would repeat endlessly.

You have to realize that their problems are not yours.......take care of yourself. I have to tell you that now that I'm sober my family's issues don't seem so awful :-).

jbm125

Hi Mick....every reply has been stuff you should listen to. Sitting by and REacting to the chaos in your home is not the best way to deal with it. The only one you can change is yourself. If you really want change you'll go to AA. It's at the very least time away from the chaos and at the best will teach you how best to deal with it till you can change your living situation. Going to AA is action you can take to escape the chaos for a few hours a day or week.
In AA you'll find a warm welcome and learn some coping skills to help you deal with an insane situation. AA can be your sanctuary of serenity for a time. You can be joyous,happy and free for a few hours. Those few hours and what you learn may be what you need to keep your sanity and stay away from booze or drugs. If you use them the insanity is still there when you sober up. If you use AA the insanity will still be there but you'll know how to deal with it. God bless.
Jack

QueenShenique

Hey Mickelina--the Big Book mentions that the steps are the answer to all our living problems--and gives us concrete instruction as to how to deal with difficult people e.g. God, this is a sick person please help me not to be angry and show me how I can be of help to them, etc. Sometimes sticking with the winners means distancing yourself from the turmoil--you have to decide for yourself. However, beware the disease doesn't try to convince you the family situation can give you reason to medicate--that's a lie. Rationalizatioin and justification will get you every time. It is in the rooms of recovery that I have found the family that gives me great joy and comfort--I still have a genetic family--but fortunately I only visit them a few times a year. Keep your head to the sky, your feet on the ground, and your hand in those of recovery--you cannot fail. Queenshenique