My first post here as an alcoholic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Bangkok Thailand
Posts: 2
My first post here as an alcoholic
This is my first post on this forum. I have been an alcoholic for nearly twenty years. Some times it has been very bad, other times almost invisible to friends or family. Drinking has cost me jobs, relationships, home, money and health. I am not yet forty years old.
I have actually never tried to stop. The only times I have ever gone a day without drink is when I have been sick (three or four times) in twenty years, twice with a tropical illness and twice with pancreatitis. On these occassions I asked Doctors to prescribe me 'benzodiazapines' so I was not in danger of developing withdrawal symptoms.
The only other time in my life (lucky I was young) I was forcefully without alcohol, I did not know about withdrawal (even when I suffered it) I had hallucinations, terrible, spiders on the ceiling, incredible hens clucking in the corridor and obnoxious smells, sweating, real fear. It was hell.
I never knew until several years later that those were severe symptoms of withdrawal. At the time I thought 'forced quitting' would 'do me good'.
Now I want to stop drinking. I fear this very much. I know I can cope with the physical withdrawal, I have enough benzodiazapines' to self medicate safely. What I fear is a life without alcohol, and the deep depression I am sure it will bring me.
I was thinking rather than use benzodiazapines, is it possible, say over 2-3 weeks to reduce alcohol intake.
I feel that would be better. At present I consume 1.5 litres of 40% spirit a day or equivalent (wine and beer).
I really feel I have to stop now. Drinking is actually rarely a pleasure any more, just a numbing of my senses.
Thank you. David Evans. Thailand.
I have actually never tried to stop. The only times I have ever gone a day without drink is when I have been sick (three or four times) in twenty years, twice with a tropical illness and twice with pancreatitis. On these occassions I asked Doctors to prescribe me 'benzodiazapines' so I was not in danger of developing withdrawal symptoms.
The only other time in my life (lucky I was young) I was forcefully without alcohol, I did not know about withdrawal (even when I suffered it) I had hallucinations, terrible, spiders on the ceiling, incredible hens clucking in the corridor and obnoxious smells, sweating, real fear. It was hell.
I never knew until several years later that those were severe symptoms of withdrawal. At the time I thought 'forced quitting' would 'do me good'.
Now I want to stop drinking. I fear this very much. I know I can cope with the physical withdrawal, I have enough benzodiazapines' to self medicate safely. What I fear is a life without alcohol, and the deep depression I am sure it will bring me.
I was thinking rather than use benzodiazapines, is it possible, say over 2-3 weeks to reduce alcohol intake.
I feel that would be better. At present I consume 1.5 litres of 40% spirit a day or equivalent (wine and beer).
I really feel I have to stop now. Drinking is actually rarely a pleasure any more, just a numbing of my senses.
Thank you. David Evans. Thailand.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
David
I'm glad that you are here to walk among us now. It is so good that you have realized that it no longer brings you pleasure and now you hope for something more from life.
Stick around, read, and post. There is a lot to be learned from these wonderful people and everyone will give you more strength that you could ever imagine.
Stay with us and you will see what good things come from a new life of being sober.
I'm glad that you are here to walk among us now. It is so good that you have realized that it no longer brings you pleasure and now you hope for something more from life.
Stick around, read, and post. There is a lot to be learned from these wonderful people and everyone will give you more strength that you could ever imagine.
Stay with us and you will see what good things come from a new life of being sober.
Miss Behavin'
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: regina,saskatchewan
Posts: 966
Welcome David!!!! So glad you found your way here. There is a better life!!!
In my opinion a medical detox sounds like the best option for you. Detoxing alone can be a death in itself. More people will come along ...i just wanted to welcome you and let you know you arenot alone and you've found the best recovery site on the net!!!
\\//Wendy
In my opinion a medical detox sounds like the best option for you. Detoxing alone can be a death in itself. More people will come along ...i just wanted to welcome you and let you know you arenot alone and you've found the best recovery site on the net!!!
\\//Wendy
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Minneapolis MN
Posts: 404
Welcome to SR! Stick around and you will find a lot of helpful and caring people, many of us can relate to where you are at right now. Stopping was scary for me too - but it can be done. I wish you great success!
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Roxbury, CT
Posts: 22
dave, I think your ?'s need medical advice. Your withdrawl symptoms were severe and you should not experience them again without supervision. I would think inpatient treatment would be your best solution.
As an alcoholic surely you realize how rare it would be if you were to really be able to slowly cut down. That would mean you have some control over your addiction.
There are links right here to look at your options for inpatient care and they would be the specialists that you would need to help modify the intense withdrawl that you suggest you will feel.
I hope you do continue to post but also seek face to face help somewhere.
As an alcoholic surely you realize how rare it would be if you were to really be able to slowly cut down. That would mean you have some control over your addiction.
There are links right here to look at your options for inpatient care and they would be the specialists that you would need to help modify the intense withdrawl that you suggest you will feel.
I hope you do continue to post but also seek face to face help somewhere.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hello
and Welcome! 
There is an AA group in Bangkok. Hanging out with members is a grand idea. AA is where I learned how to stay sober and enjoy it!
A support 'hands on' is a vig boost to a sucessful sober way of life. i consider it vital to my continiously interesting pleasant sobriety.
Keep in touch..
There is an AA group in Bangkok. Hanging out with members is a grand idea. AA is where I learned how to stay sober and enjoy it!
A support 'hands on' is a vig boost to a sucessful sober way of life. i consider it vital to my continiously interesting pleasant sobriety.
Keep in touch..
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Hi Dave and welcome! Given your history with withdrawal, is there anyway you can go into a detox facility for a week or so? I highly suggest medical supervision, simply because you had a rough go with it before and alcohol detox can be fatal. You can try tapering but alcoholics like me and you rarely do well with that approach, not to say it's worked for some. Find a means of support, look around here for your options. It really sounds like to me your ready and just afraid of sobriety as I was. I can assure you after the initial early days it really is nothing to fear. I think if you recieve the proper medical supervision it will make it much easier on you, not that it will be a piece of cake, but not as uncomfortable as going it alone. Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NYC, NY
Posts: 193
Welcome David
You will be making a wonderful change in your life, however scary it seems to be now. You will in fact be choosing life. You may experience some depression, but isn't it already present much of the time in your drinking life?
I, as many people here will say that it will be the most important thing you will ever do. I am new at it myself, having stopped only 3 months ago at age 42 and with about the same amount of drinking time as you. Today shocked me...it was simply the happiest day I can remember in YEARS. Nothing very special happened in particularly....I just felt truly free.
Best wishes to you.
You will be making a wonderful change in your life, however scary it seems to be now. You will in fact be choosing life. You may experience some depression, but isn't it already present much of the time in your drinking life?
I, as many people here will say that it will be the most important thing you will ever do. I am new at it myself, having stopped only 3 months ago at age 42 and with about the same amount of drinking time as you. Today shocked me...it was simply the happiest day I can remember in YEARS. Nothing very special happened in particularly....I just felt truly free.
Best wishes to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Bangkok Thailand
Posts: 2
Thanks, everyone for those great replies. It gives me a boost to think that in 3 months I can feel better as 'Time4me' mentioned. I am determined to quit and live a life without booze.
David.
David.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 77
Welcome David! Congrats on coming here to admit you're an alcoholic and taking a step to do something about it. That takes so much courage!!
It is likely you will feel down/depressed upon giving up alcohol. That might last for a month, maybe two. But also in that month or two, you will start to see a whole new life that you never knew existed. It will be incredible! And every day will start to get easier to stay away from drinking. You will find a fellowship of people in AA (if you so desire) who are in the same boat as you. You will get your life back!! The need for alcohol will fade and you will be left with a beautiful life, a new sense of self, and pure joy! Ask any of us....we've been there. I'm only 3.5 months sober, but I'm telling you I'm already reaping the rewards and there is NO way I'm going back to drinking.
So glad you're here! Sorry for rambling.
Renee
It is likely you will feel down/depressed upon giving up alcohol. That might last for a month, maybe two. But also in that month or two, you will start to see a whole new life that you never knew existed. It will be incredible! And every day will start to get easier to stay away from drinking. You will find a fellowship of people in AA (if you so desire) who are in the same boat as you. You will get your life back!! The need for alcohol will fade and you will be left with a beautiful life, a new sense of self, and pure joy! Ask any of us....we've been there. I'm only 3.5 months sober, but I'm telling you I'm already reaping the rewards and there is NO way I'm going back to drinking.
So glad you're here! Sorry for rambling.
Renee
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