drsjlm2124

i found this site 4 days ago and i got alot of support, but i just wasnt getting the support i needed from my family. 3 days ago i really needed someone to be here for me and i couldnt get anyone to stop and listen to me for a minute. i tried to get my dad to let me use his car so i could go to a meeting or see a doctor cause i wanted to die in the worse way, he wouldnt let me use it or take me, cause he had better things to do like go get drunk! so i called my x which probably threw me over the egde. i told him what was going on and that i needed help, all he said to me was that i needed to find a way to go to the hospital. i got pissed at him, hung up and took a bunch of pills. now i know that was the most selfish thing ive done yet! at the time i thought it was the right thing to do, but then i got scared when i saw a picture of my kids. i kept trying to call him and couldnt get him to answer, called my mom couldnt get her, so i called my sister,as im getting off the phone with her he finally calls. probably 15 minutes later, he was in the shower thats why he didnt answer! he knew how i was feeling i told him, this is the man ive spent the last 5 years of my life with, and he knew i wanted to kill myself when i hung up on him and he feels its the right time to get a shower! i just got out of the hospital a few hours ago, he didnt call once to see how i was or to make sure i was still alive. i get home and call him cause he had our daughter, i wanted to see how she was and he feels the times right to tell me he has a "friend" nice right! we just broke up a week and a half ago, but he needed a friend to talk to so he calls this girl he used to work with, but hasnt seen her in about 6 months. and decides to tell me theres pretty much no chance for us again. through all this thats the little hope i was hanging on too, but today he changes his mind cause now he has a friend! how can he act like everything is okay and life couldnt get better and here i am like this? i dont get it! well im sorry its so long, i could probably keep going but this is long enough, thankx for listening to anyone who reads all this!

tyler

Man I'm sorry it's like that, that's how it get's sometimes when we get deep into this $hit. I wish I had some better advice for you. but that is about what it is. You gotta get clean, if you can do that you might have a chance, if not you are just another junkie whining about not being able to get their kids back. You gotta do something. Peace Out.

CarolD

I am sorry for your pain and situation.
Have you tried prayers for peace and healing?

Try to rest tonight...a bubble bath and soothing music might be relaxing.

Blessings...

tyler

thanks carol, wish it was that easy, don 't know what it is that will fis me, but I haven't found it yet. Peace to all

tyler

Maybe that wasn't for me. Peace to all

CarolD

Tyler...I think it can a apply to many of us!

drsjlm2124

thankx guys, im doing better im on new meds which can either be a good thing or a bad thing! but i am feeling 100% better, ive made it to 3 meetings in 2 days. it was a little weird but i stayed and i listened and i will keep going back. thankx again