mike66

I hate meetings. I hate Higher Power. I hate anyone who has a program. to all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering.

Allow me to introduce my self, I am the disease of addiction. I am cunning, baffling and powerful. I have killed millions, and I am pleased. I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, have I not? wasn't I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn't you call on me? I was there. I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry, better yet, I love when I make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. You can't feel anything at all. This is true glory to me. I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is long-term suffering. I've been there for you always. When things were going right in your life, you invited me in. You said you didn't deserve these good things in your life.

People don't take me seriously. They take strokes, heart attacks, cancer and even diabetes seriously. Fools that they are, they don't know that without my help, these things would not be made possible.

I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You chose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace.

More than you hate, I hate all of you who have a 12step program. Your program, your meetings, your Higher Power. All weaken me and I can't function in the manner I am accustomed to.

Now I must lay here quietly. You don't see me, but I am growing, bigger than ever. When you only exist, I may live. When you live, I only exist. But I am here....and until we meet again, if we meet again, I wish you death and suffering.
Addiction



Just thought I would share this with ya'll. It really had a big impact on my recovery.
Mike

wantneeda

yup...me too...
cunning, baffling and powerful
This disease wants us dead...that is the ultimate bottom.
may all on SR and those who still suffer find some peace today.
Wendy

hopealwayz

Total destruction of our lives is where that disease draws his power. Good thing we have a choice and can choose to fight this thing.

Dan

That thing chills me as much today as when I read it the first time.
Thanks Mike.

livingfree

I still have my copy of this from when I was in treatment. We used as a tool for writing a letter to our addictions. I still get angered when read it, but I read it often to remind me of what I have to look forward to should I decide to go back. Thank you for sharing it again here.

mishelly

Thanks for posting this. I read it once a while back but couldn't find it again. I wanted to take it and read it at my NA meeting...thanks again!