Unsure as to what to do

Old 05-23-2005, 09:30 AM
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Unsure as to what to do

Hello, I guess I just need basic information. We found out my niece has been on coke for about 6 - 7 months and has now I guess you'd call it "upgraded" to crack about 2 1/2 months ago. She's admitted this isn't giving her the same :high" anymore and thought about trying something better... i don't know enough about drugs to know what that would be....herione?? She has gone completely nuts with this! She has stopped bathing, she loaned her new car out for drug money until the 15 yr old she loaned it to crashed it into a rig and took off. She no longer has electric, heat, water, or anything else except her phone in her home now. Her home she bought 2 yrs ago is now being forecloused on. She lost a job where she made 43,000 a year. Mind you shes only 24 and not married, so she was very responsiable until now. She has just started retail theft to supply her habit. But she is trying to reach out for help now. She had her friend bust up her pipe, and anything else she had that was for her drugs. And get rid of the crack she had on her at the time. It lasted 2 days and she went running back to the drugs. She has agreed to come stay with me. Which I'm a state away so she can't go running back easy. To help her clean up. And If i have to chain her to the bed she is not getting away untill she cleans up! I have 2 small kids that I have someone keeping for me for the most part since I have no idea what to expect during this. What am I getting myself into?? I love my niece and I would help her with anything. I've packed up anything with any value now incase she would deciede to split she wouldn't have any money to get anywhere. But how do I help? what am I to expect? I've never dealt with anything like this. and the few ppl I know that i've told about this thinks I'm crazy and should not get involved, but that isn't an option for me. Can you help me in how to help her?
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Old 05-23-2005, 11:33 AM
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living clean and free
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I commend you for trying to help, but you will have your hands full especially if she is not ready for help. If Rehab is not an option, the first thing I would do is get her to an Narcotics Anonomous or even an AA meeting, that would be a good start. You can find them in your area by goning to or
Both of you will be in my prayers. Good Luck
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Old 05-23-2005, 11:40 AM
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Not today
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Not to bring down your hopes but an addict will always find a wat to get drugs. It may take her time but just be careful. Like someone said to me dont be surprised.There is hope. when i lived with my Abf it was hell. I would wait up all night for him to come home he stole from everyone. Taking this on is a big thing i suggest getting her into a rehab by your home. just dont let this consume you. best wishes and good luck. I suggest reading the what addicts do sticky. It helped open my eyes to so many things
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Old 05-23-2005, 01:31 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
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Lightbulb Welcome and Hello

Here is a place for you to check out..

Blessings to the 2 of you...
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Old 05-23-2005, 01:55 PM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
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Me again..

You may need to have your niece medically treated. Do not hesitate to use an ER.

If you do not have money for a your local Salvation Army for help. They have excellent resourses.
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Old 05-23-2005, 02:00 PM
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Expect a lot of problems cuz cocaine withdrawal is hell. If she wants to "upgrade" she might be trying meth, even worse. I quit drugs cold turkey cuz I really focused myself on that and really wanted it, so it worked out.
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Old 05-23-2005, 02:15 PM
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I've been down that road your niece is going down. Cocaine, Crack, Freebase were my drugs of NO Choice. Narcotics Anonymous has saved my life, we deal with the disease of addiction. This is not a substance specific program and this is not the program that says some of us are unconstitutionally incapable of receiving this. This is the program that says an addict, any addict can stop using, lose the desire to use and find a new way to live. I would suggest for her to ask for help, go 90 NA meetings in 90 days without being under the influence of anything, get phone numbers, find a sponsor and the program/fellowship will take care of the rest.
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Old 05-24-2005, 06:52 AM
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She called me last night an asked for me to come get her 2day. I just finished getting ready to go then she called and is stalling, saying she'll just ride up with my husband when he comes home on Thursday night. I think she maybe backing out of me helping her. I know she has just about run out of source to get the drugs. Her father (worthless piece of never mind!!!!) He's her supplier! But he robbed her last night. Took everything she had yet to sell, except for her big screen TV. I'm going to look into the Narcotics Anynomous you mentioned Moon. How do I know when I pushed her too far?? Can you?? I want to help her, but I don't want to shove the help on her so much she runs from it either! I figured I'm in for a good fight with this. I already told her to bring it on she laughed but she is so scared of cleaning up too. She did hug her Mom last night (which was a BIG step for my niece.) She had not talked to her since we found out she started drugs. She said she is ashamed of herself and just couldn't face her mom. But when she hugged my sister last night and just cried and kept saying she was so sorry, she does want the help, and has asked for it. But she then runs from it. I just want to make sure I don't help too much I guess. If there is such a thing?
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Old 05-24-2005, 11:59 AM
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Let Go
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Please come and join us on the naranon forum. We are all spouses, parents, aunts etc of drug addicts. There is lots of help there.

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Old 05-24-2005, 01:43 PM
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Tough Love

Hi Jokealca, I'll pray for you and your neice. Your's is an old story. Family, friends, clergy all try to help but unless the addict wants it she's doomed until she hits such a bottom that she has nowhere to go. Family gets heart broken and can't take it anymore. Friends desert the addict because they've been lied to, stolen from and abused. Clergy can only do so much since they have a lot of people with unsolvable problems. If you're strong enough and care as much as it seems I'd wait till the next time she does something that is illegal and I'd call the cops. I wouldn't normally give this advise but you seem to be between a rock and a hard place. A place where there no EZ decisions. The cops will see that she goes thru a medical detox and then a rehab. She won't have any choice but to do what will be best for her and you and your family. What effect is this having on your two little ones? Your home and family life? Addicts don't hurt just themselves. Selfishness and ego, false pride, lying, stealing, no personal hygeine, self centeredness are just parts of addiction. And of course the addict lies to him/herself. "I'm not hurting anyone, just leave me alone with my pipe".
Amazing isn't it? She needs the kind of help you can't provide.Your children are being harmed everytime they see her act out, overhear you or whoever talking about the last outrageous thing she's done, see her when she's high,
hear her trying to score dope, see and hear her lying to you or whoever and she's probably lying to everybody. If she's lost or losing her house how long will it be before she's prostituting herself for drugs. Nice picture huh?If she's this way at 24 how willl she be at 34 if no one intervenes, in a big way? God bless and help you and your neice.

Last edited by jbm125; 05-24-2005 at 01:51 PM. Reason: misspelling
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