NoWhereToTurn

Update:

Today is day 7 clean and day 5 of detox. His newest symptoms seem to be irriability and nervousness.

I personally have leftover narc pain meds prescribed to me by my doctor. My bf told me when he detoxed from H many, many years ago (after being arrested and held in jail), he was given shots of demerol (sp). He claims my meds would be ok for him to take. I quoted all you wonderful people who have replied to me on this thread, and in PM. He seemed to get a little mad that I wouldn't give him one. I told him I didn't want to hurt him or his detox, so he had to "ride it out". The irrability came when he said I need to "unplug" a little bit from this site. He also seemed to be defensive.

I'm being strong and standing my ground. He knows he can only have tylenol, which he says does absolutely nothing. I'm not trying to be mean, and I know it doesn't come across that way. I'm staying cool, not yelling, and being very supportive. I'm treating him the way I know I would want to be treated. All the little things I know I would want/like, I'm doing for him.

Once he's on his feet, he said he was going to find a meeting. I pray for that day.

Many thanks for being so caring.

Kahlia

He CANNOT use ANY narcotics, it will just start the cycle all over again. Good for you for standing your ground, you have done a LOT of hard work....you deserve to be appreciated. His defensiveness comes from NOT being able to use any drugs....we tend to do that at first?? As far as "unplugging" from this site, I totally disagree, you need to keep coming here, it has helped you get through this awful time....addicts tend to Not like others telling them what they are doing wrong until they are totally ready to give it all up...he may need some counseling as well......I found a site called Medscape.com, it has a LOT of info on it....about addicition, shaking leg syndrome etc....hope it helps and do not give in to him...if he gets mad, he will get over it....Kahlia

NoWhereToTurn

Thank you Kahlia. My bf knows he won't get any pain meds from me, so he decided to go back to bed after being up for an hour or so. He's still weak and acts like he thinks he can do more than he actually can. His dizziness now comes in spells. He'll think he's feeling ok, starts doing something, then gets dizzy and has to scramble to sit/lie down. I tell him to let me know when he wants up, so I can assist. He agrees, but gets up on his own anyway. I find myself following him around (the little bit he walks) to make sure I can catch or assist him should he have a spell. The bathroom is the scariest because I can't see him (he deserves his privacy). I'm always asking if he's ok, making sure he hasn't passed out or whatever.

I agree, I should not and WILL NOT "unplug". This has been my lifeline, and I will not let go.

I haven't searched online for the closest meeting, but will be doing that today. He has no vehicle. He gave his key to my vehicle back to me (I'm glad because I was going to ask for it), so I will be driving him to and from meetings (what a perfect time for me to have quiet time and read while waiting).

Thank you for your wise words and all your support.

BSPGirl

You're doing so well, I admire you. :-) Btw I think there are meetings for the partners of addicts too? Not sure about that one tho, I think there are in the US.

Kahlia

Drop him off at an NA meeting an you find a NAR-Anon meeting...you are still doing great...BUT you need to realize that he needs to do some of this on his own or he will go back to his old habits...You can also find Nar-Anon online if you cannot do both with one car....Kahlia....

BOOZER

The meetings are Nor Anon if I am correct?

Again I applaud you on sticking it out. I've had a rough few days and sure would have liked my girlfriend to be there. The addict feels so much shame if the significant other leaves because of the addiction. With good reason I suppose. Your boyfriend won't have to feel that. It will make his continued recovery much easier.
I don't know about him but I am a changed person after realizing my problem. You will likely find that all your hard work pays off for you as well. I can tell you that if things had worked here I would have tried my best to make up for all that went wrong. I really did some cool, romantic things and put her first over anything. She just was not into the whole recovery thing I think as she is a drinker?? Don't know but addicts seems to share one thing, shame. They want to fix that shame in any way possible. Again, I bet you will be pleasantly surprised with how well you are treated once this bad detox time is over.
Keep it up. He may be nasty at times but it is because he wants his drugs or because he is angry at himself and doesn't yet realize. Soon the immediate desire for drugs will fade some. Soon he will begin to evaluate himself. And soon after that you will likely be treated like his queen.

NoWhereToTurn

Thank you BSPGirl, Kahlia and BOOZER. I'm definitely planning on meetings for myself. I need to know more about addiction, helping him, and helping myself.

BOOZER, I'm sorry you had to go it alone. I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you. **hugs**

My bf actually asked me today how *I* was doing, if I was eating/sleeping and taking proper care of myself. I broke down crying in his arms, telling him how scared I had been. I told him if in the future he feels like he's going to slip, to let me know. He and I could work on it together. I said it's he and I against the world, not the world against him. We can do anything...together. After wiping eachother's tears, he got up and shaved/showered. He's still weak, but I see big improvement.

Well, that's the latest. Thanks all for your continued support.

BOOZER

See, he is coming out of it and thinking of you now some.
Wow, he and I against the world. I wish I had that. It made me cry.
You are such a good person. Keep it up. I really believe you will be rewarded 10 times over.

In memory of miracle

I am glad your bf is feeling better.Nastiness is a sure sign ! If you don't need those med's, I would flush them,end of that argument! Keep the faith! Trish

BSPGirl

Yeah when I've been really sick and I start get better I also start to act pissed off cuz I'm impatient and annoyed with myself then, LOL.

NoWhereToTurn

Thanks BOOZER, miraclen2003 and BSPGirl.

Update:

My bf is definitely feeling better! He's even trying to do things around here. I tell him to take it easy, but he insists he's ok. He seems impatient to feel stronger, and gets mad at himself when he runs out of energy. He still has the leg pains at night, and is suffering from diarrhea. His vision is a bit blurry, especially if trying to read. He's eating small amounts and keeping it down, is drinking water, juice and soda, and is taking a multi-vitamin.

The conversation of my narc pain meds has ended. When he said he doesn't want any afterall, I told him that was good because I trashed them.

He is experiencing strong senses of taste and smell. Not only is he detoxing from H, he has stopped smoking due to being sick. I've told him many times, that once he stops smoking, he'll be able to taste and smell a lot better. Right now, he's amazed at the difference, although he did say he's been wanting a smoke today (I hid them).

He also seemed physically addicted to coffee. When I met him 2 years ago (tomorrow), he drank 2-3 pots of coffee per day. Before his detox, he was down to a couple cups in the morning and in the evening. I'm hoping once he's back to "normal", he'll not pick up any of his bad habits. I figure, since he's suffering from detox from one drug, he may as well be thankful and get ALL the drugs out of him at the same time.

I think that's it for now. Thanks for caring.

CarolD

Hi...A daily banana might help with leg pain.

Often it is a sign of low Potassium.

NoWhereToTurn

Hi CarolD,

I tried getting him to eat a banana, but he hates them. I bought some Potassium, but he didn't like belching it all day. I need to do a search and find other ways he can get Potassium.

Thanks for your reply.

NoWhereToTurn

Update:

My bf's main complaint is still his legs. He's still a bit weak, but that's to be expected. I checked into NA meetings, but they're too far away. If a typical meeting lasts, say, an hour, we will be travelling over 3 hours per night for meetings. I can't do that. I have my own work responsibilities, and they would get pushed aside. Instead, I suggested AA meetings. They are basically the same, and the meetings are just down the street at a local church. I think he wants to go to NA because "his own people" will be there. The biggest problem with him attending NA, is we'll/he'll have to enter the same city where he bought his drugs and was held up. I'm afraid of what may happen if he goes into the city alone.

This is another reason why *I* need meetings. I need to know what I should do for him and what I shouldn't. I think NOW is the time to get moving, but I'm following his cue. He's talked about meetings, but hasn't done much more than that yet.

He's starting to take care of some of his responsibilities, now that he's feeling better. There's even talk to continue losing weight. He's lost about 20 pounds since being sick. He also wants us to do more exercising together, since neither of us do much physical activity. I'm all for that!

This morning he asked for his cigarettes. I didn't want to give them to him, but he's a grown man. I can't do everything for him. He took me by the hand, and destroyed all his cigarettes but one. He even threw away his cigarette case! We walked out to the deck and he lit it up. He took 2 drags, said YUCK, and put it out. I hope that's the end of it.

NoWhereToTurn

Update:

Today is day 10 clean and day 8 of detox. My bf has been up and around for a couple days, and has even started doing housework. I'd say he's feeling better. Last night I slept in our bed with him (for the first time since he started detoxing) and his legs hardly kicked. Although his body is probably still going through withdrawal, the symptoms are not obvious.

Now would be the time for him to find and go to a meeting. I printed a local listing of meetings, and the rest is up to him. All I can do now is be supportative. I can no longer do these things for him.

I want to thank all the wonderful people who have posted in this thread. Without you...I don't even want to think what would have happened without you! You have been a GODsend, a lifeline, that I will never forget.

This will probably be my last post in this forum. You helped me get through his detox, now I have to move on to the Nar-anon forum of this board. You helped me help him, now it's time for me to get help from Nar-anon.

Thanks for caring.

**hugs**

In memory of miracle

Go girl ! It's been nice talking with you! See you on Nar-anon ! Bless, Trish

NoWhereToTurn

Thanks Trish. Take good care. **hugs**