angelgirl

Hi there. I am 34 days clean. My anxiety is very high right now, I've worked myself up to near panic. I know this is of my own doing, with worry, I need to relax and breathe. Here's my problem, I hope someone can identify. I am almost really afraid of the answer though. I am clean now, so bad news is not as easy to take, when I used I was numb and did not really care. No, I am not saying it gives me a reason to use, I am just noting that I am no longer numb, everything is real, no benzo's to ward off my anxiety for me. I do know other techniques. I will be using them tonight, but here's my question/story.
When I was using, for about the last 6 months, maybe more, I don't remember alot, alot of blackouts. But I do remember alot of swelling going on in my bady. I was pretty sure my kidney's and/or liver were in bad shape. When I went to the hospital for detox, (they drug you very heavily in the hospital) I asked them to check my liver and kidney's, well I am not sure if I got an answer, I thought maybe I did, but not sure. Well, tonight I was sitting here at the desk, when I got up, I noticed my foot felt tight, i normally have alot of problems when I stand up, as I have leg problems, my veins are bad, so they hurt ALL the time, so I am used to that pain when I am on my feet, or first stand up. But this felt different. So I looked down at my left foot, and the top of my foot was all swollen. looked funny. Although not funny. Like I said, I have had swelling problems, but normally it is more my RIGHt hand, leg, and ankle. I don't know why it is normally the right side, rather than both, and sometimes it is both, but way more often it is the right side. I have also noticed my urine is very dark also. But it was like that for a long time, and always when I used. But I have not used for 34 days.
I called the detox hospital I just went to, to find out if they could tell me my liver function, and kidneys, because I asked them to do it when I was in the hospital, so I wanted to see if they would tell me. Well of course they won't. I guess I knew that, but I had to ask. They said they don't have access to my records right now. Big hospital.
I am so afraid. I have been working a program so hard, NA, group, counselor. I am so afriad I screwed my body up to much. I also did gain ALOT of weight during the last year from using, detoxing, using, detoxing..... and so on.
I don't know if I can handle bad news right now, I have so much going on, working on all the problems I have caused myself, and my family. I don't know if I have any heart damage. I have been trying to limit the salty foods I eat, I never add salt, but I know alot of foods have ALOT of sodium, so i have been watching that.
Please pray for me, I really can't deal with more bad news. Thanks for any info. and for praying for me, I really would appreciate it. Thanks, Love, Becky

wantneeda

hey Becky...i think if i were you...I'd make an appointment for a complete physical. I had doc's visits when i was in detox but i don't think they are that in depth.
Take it easy...and yes breath. Sounds like your urine is very concentrated, and your body is still very much detoxing. Please make sure you drink lots of water. You've been hard on your body and it will take time to recover. Wish i had more to say to help you, i'm sure someone will come along that maybe has more to offer.
You're doing great by the way. congrats on 40 day!!!!
\\//, wendy

angelgirl

Thanks Wants--- I am afraid to go to the doctor, but I am going anyway, I just don't know if I can handle any bad news. Is there anyone who may have read this that has had regular swelling, when nothing really bad was wrong? I know they are going to tell me at the doctor to go on a diet, can't wait to hear that either. I did gain alot, I quit my job, stayed hold up in my house. I just did not care about anything. I did not care if I died then, I think I actually wished deep down that I would have died, not now, but when I was using. I thought it would be easier to die than to admit once again, that I was using, and begin the process again. I am happy I don't feel that way now, I am just afraid I won't be able to handle bad news, like that. I know there are consequences to using, and I am deal with alot of them right now. I am praying. I will take it a moment at a time. Thanks for listening. I need that right now. Love, Becky

wantneeda

I guess i want to tell you that when i dwell on the negative...negative is usually the outcome...when i pray...i thank my HP in advance for what i'm praying for.
Try to see yourself in a positive light Becky...clean and sober, strong, serene, and healthy,.
Hopefully soon someone will come along who's had some experience .

angelgirl

Thanks WANT, I will work on my stinking thinking. I know i need to, and I am only hurting myself. Thanks again, Love, Becky

BSPGirl

Well due to my cocaine use, I screwed my heart up a lil, so to say...but now that I'm clean things are slowly going back to normal, the body recovers, but slowly, give it time, I guess that's my only advice. And yes go to a doctor you trust for a complete physical.

angelgirl

Hi BSpgirl, thanks for the info. I am plannig on making an appointment today. I am afraid and would rather forget about the swelling ( yeah right) and hide. But that would do me no good. I am just afraid of what they might tell me. I know it's foolish to be this way. So I will call the doctor. Thanks again, Love, Becky
Ps--- Anyone ? Could you tell em, the best way to rid your body of water, is to drink alot of water??? Right? Thnks

BSPGirl

Well I'm no dr but I think it's good to drink like 2L of water a day, just to clear your urine tracts and keep the urine secretion going. Also keep your sodium and potassium balanced, I think.

danir

hi Angel!
My leggs swell too. The kind of swelling I would expect were I pregnant. *same with you? really comes on rather fast?

I was having "frequint UTIs" my kidneys couldnt filter quite as well and need a "wholly Healthy Me".

I was put on low dose of antibiotics daily "proplylaxis (sp?)". And remember if it isnt clear going in to your body, the harder it is for your kidneys to process.
Soda (im a sucker here)
coffee
fast food
any thing done in deep fryer
Ie Fried chicken, etc

Healthy food and stroll in the park will help most of all with me. I was put on a lacyx (sp?) it helps with water retention... but that was just until I worked on "healthy living". say about 6mo. till I was able to really have good habbits, less swelling. I dont really know what to say about the veins, but I kind massage in lotion in on my leggs.

Up side is that I now REALLY enjoy cooking, and I think a slow walk will cure any case of the blues (and swollen leg or leggs) and i'm not afraid to sit with my feet up (used to make me feel real lazy) So it really worked out all the way around.

The doctor I had at the time seemed to think it was a good idea for me to have gone in to see him so quickly.

*I* dont think you are overreacting, but you certianly dont want to "worry yourself even sicker" as Grammy used to say. Do what you can, make that appointment, try not to worry about the "what ifs" til you get there.

Your doing such a great job!!!

na4today

I'm always scared to go to the dr. I drank and drugged for over 20 yrs. Every time something feels bad with me, I'm sure it is from abusing my body. I can work myself into a panic fast and it always makes everything worse. I was on Xanax for years and I do remember that I had swelling for about 2 months off and on. But it was nothing major. I try not to think about it as going to the dr to find out what's wrong, but that I'm going to find out what else to do to be ok. Sounds stupid when I read it, but it helps to be positive about it. Good luck

angelgirl

Hi there, just wanted to post my update, and thank all of you who responded. I only slept about 2 hours last night, and was really tired. So about 9am I took a short nap, when I got up, I was sooo swollen, you could not tell I had ankles. My urine has also been very dark, along with some other things going on, so I called the doctor, I got in today. I got bad news right away, my blood pressure was high-- 146/110 , and my heart rate was 140. Between thse things and my body swelling, I did not feel well. The doctor was very concerned. He thankfully did a bunch of tests. Heres what he did and the results, EKG (good) unrine test- for kidney swelling (good) -- sugar test for diabetes runs in my family ( a bit high- 11.3 ), X-ray to check to see if my heart was enlarged, and if my lungs had fluid ( heart-good, lungs-some shady spots, but I am a smoker, so that is noraml I guess).
Well it all came down to a medication, CLONIDINE, which is a blood pressure med. but is used in patches and pill form while detoxing, and after for anxiety, which is why I was prescribed it. Well it was giving me adverse effects. I am allergic to the patches they use in the hospital, they give me big blisters, so that's why I was on the pills. No more of that crap. He gave me a water pill, to get myself going again, and to relieve all this pressure I am having. It is painful to walk with my legs, and feet so swollen. I am taking it easy tonight.
I'm sure no one is really interested in my medical history , but I thought I would pass this info. on. The med. I was taking that is normally used to lower heart rate, and blood pressure, was causing those exact problems with me. I should know that meds don't treat me right, I am an addict!!
Well thanks again, for listening to me. You were there for me once again, helping through another problem. Thank you so much, and god bless you all. Love, Becky

BSPGirl

I'm glad the dr helped you and that it's nothing serious! Take it easy. Oh and keep an eye on your blood sugar levels, especially when diabetes is running in your family. *hugs tight*

angelgirl

Thanks BSP, I am going to request a 12 hour fasting sugar check, and see if it is still high. My grandpa was blind from diabetes, so I will stay on it.
Hope you are doing well!! Love, Becky

splendra

(((angelgirl))))

I am glad you went to the dr. I do not know if you are into natural solutions or not but I do have a few suggestions.... Keep your food choices healthy. I think your body could be retaining fluids because you are still very toxic and dehydrated!!! Drink bottled water lots of it.....the fluids could be surrounding toxins that your overtaxed system is trying to keep from going thru your organs so diluting with lots of water could really help....Parsley is a natural diuretic and it also will sweeten your breath and give your body more oxygen you can eat it raw or juice it with carrots and other veggies.Co enzyme Q10 is a good supplement for vein health and it also gives you energy... Think good thoughts too affirm everyday that you are getting better!!! I know detoxing can be hell and it goes beyound just stopping using... I hope you can try a search on the things I have underlined. I wish you all the best in your healing process take good care of yourself!!!! Prayers going out for you too....

angelgirl

Thanks Splendra, I will take your advice, and do a search. I appreciate it. I am drinking lots of water, getting better today Love, Becky

Cathy31

Becky
You sound good - really glad the doc could help you! You keep on keeping on now - you're doing great!
Cathy31
x

wantneeda

(((Becky)))

FriendofBill

Becky, congrats on your courage to go to the DR! That is a huge accomplishment, I hate going even when Im spiritually well.

You are on the right road to taking care of yourself,,,thats doing Gods will, alright!

You go girl!

angelgirl

Thanks so much to all of you. You are all a major insipration to me, and you are always ther to listen when I need it the most, and no one judges me. Thanks, means so much to me. I am working it this time, no going backwards for me, as I have done soo many times, I want this, and it is working!! LOVE YOU ALL!!!! BECKY

Jane63

Hey angel! Was just browsing the boards and saw this post from you...I am sooo happy that you went to the docs and that nothing serious was wrong!

My feet and ankles swelled horribly during the last months of my abusing the Vicoden and even though I knew something was wrong, stoopid me just kept on taking them in large quantities! {DUH!} When I went into Rehab they were very good at monitouring our livers {enzyme testing and stuff} and I was so happy to hear that mine was just fine, although there were others there who were sadly not as lucky.:-( I was also on the Clonadine Patch {Catapress} and had no adverse effects from it but I am glad you caught the "culprit" that was making you swell!

I hope the swelling is starting to go down and that you are feeling better! I agree that it is good to drink LOTS of water as it purifies our bodies and it is just good for you too...mild exercise works wonders as well!
I was kind of the oppisite and lost alot of weight during my detox and recovery time...was looking pretty good, but unfortunately have gained back some and now must work harder to loose it again the HEALTHY way! Kind of sucks that I had to get 'sick" in order to loose the weight, but I wouldn't trade the sobriety for nuthing!!
Keep hanging in there! You are doing GREAT and again...I'm soo happy for you that you caught this in time and that nothing was seriously wrong!!
****{HUGS}}}
Jane