Me again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Norway
Posts: 35
Me again
Okay, day 7 here. And I have so much I should have done but I cant do anything when I am clean. I just am in apathy and numb, cant do anything. I need to take pills to be able to do anything. I cant stay clean much longer , I think.I need something very soon.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NYC, NY
Posts: 193
Hey W 7 DAYS is a BIG ACCOMPLISHMENT!
Glad you are posting and taking some a pause before you use. My DOC is alcohol, so I can't say first hand how long the physical clearing will take for what you have been using....but, I am sure you will receive the same message of support over and over...Please believe it...YOU WILL BE FEELING BETTER AND BETTER. I know it seems hard to believe now...but by using, you will just be starting the whole cycle again. What do you have to do so badly that you would think about throwing yourself back there again? I would say...shove it! Your sobriety is so much more important...things WILL work themselves out if you are clean.
Lots of strength to you today.
Glad you are posting and taking some a pause before you use. My DOC is alcohol, so I can't say first hand how long the physical clearing will take for what you have been using....but, I am sure you will receive the same message of support over and over...Please believe it...YOU WILL BE FEELING BETTER AND BETTER. I know it seems hard to believe now...but by using, you will just be starting the whole cycle again. What do you have to do so badly that you would think about throwing yourself back there again? I would say...shove it! Your sobriety is so much more important...things WILL work themselves out if you are clean.
Lots of strength to you today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Norway
Posts: 35
well , its just the everyday stuff I cant do... errands I need to do, housework, fix a new passport, do my crafting hobbies etc. All this is important, hey isnt it? if I can function, there is not a reason for being clean??if I can do all this when I am stoned. And not, if not.
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Progressive seems to be a word that comes to mind.
Addiction is progressive and sooner or later we become unable to do things well. Recovery is progressive also.
You will snap out of things and be able to do so much more when clean and do it legal as well.
Addiction is progressive and sooner or later we become unable to do things well. Recovery is progressive also.
You will snap out of things and be able to do so much more when clean and do it legal as well.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: a spiritual vortex, Colorado
Posts: 844
by the time i got to NA/AA i was so accustomed to doing anyting/everything high...
by going to meetings and gettina sponsor i could talk to, i slowly regained the ability and the ambition to do life clean.
in the last nine years of recovery, i can report that i lead a huge life- complete with family reconciliations, business sucess, artistic fullfillment
MOST important- i learned to love me
took time, took clean time., took doing it one day at a time...
just for today....
by going to meetings and gettina sponsor i could talk to, i slowly regained the ability and the ambition to do life clean.
in the last nine years of recovery, i can report that i lead a huge life- complete with family reconciliations, business sucess, artistic fullfillment
MOST important- i learned to love me
took time, took clean time., took doing it one day at a time...
just for today....
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
Your addiction will only get worse. In early recovery, sometimes it is hard to find the motivation to do those things that we know we need to do. But it will happen, and you will be able to do those things while clean. Just be patient with the process. The end result of using could lead to death. Those pills will kill you: your addiction will kill you. The addiction wants to take everything from us and destroy our lives.
7 days is a HUGE accomplishment! Keep trying it for "just one more day." Give it a little time and see what happens. I want to see your beautiful life be reborn and for you to be able to enjoy life's miracles with a clear head.
In the end, you can do soooooo much more by staying clean!! Please don't pick up! My friend, in the end, it is just not worth it!
7 days is a HUGE accomplishment! Keep trying it for "just one more day." Give it a little time and see what happens. I want to see your beautiful life be reborn and for you to be able to enjoy life's miracles with a clear head.
In the end, you can do soooooo much more by staying clean!! Please don't pick up! My friend, in the end, it is just not worth it!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NYC, NY
Posts: 193
Hi again W
I hear more clearly now what you are struggling with. True, as it is with most addicts, there is a period in the addiction when it is almost impossible to do normal things without our drug of choice. For a long period, I could not get the courage or energy to do the most simple things....chores, e-mail, on and on...heck, I could not even see or be around people without being loaded.
That was and is only part of the cycle W....with further use, it can easily reach a point where...even with your drug or drink...you are incapable of doing anything much at all except lie around in misery day in day out....And often there comes a point where that drug of choice just stops working all together.
Much better to stop it now. Your willpower and desire to do things will return. Give it some more time.
I hear more clearly now what you are struggling with. True, as it is with most addicts, there is a period in the addiction when it is almost impossible to do normal things without our drug of choice. For a long period, I could not get the courage or energy to do the most simple things....chores, e-mail, on and on...heck, I could not even see or be around people without being loaded.
That was and is only part of the cycle W....with further use, it can easily reach a point where...even with your drug or drink...you are incapable of doing anything much at all except lie around in misery day in day out....And often there comes a point where that drug of choice just stops working all together.
Much better to stop it now. Your willpower and desire to do things will return. Give it some more time.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Connellsville PA
Posts: 3
diein2live
I am 170 days clean from Heroin and I am really struggling right now, I have talked to my sponser, support group, go to meetings and share about it, but I am really tryin to keep my head above water, that feelin just won't leave me, my addiction is callin me back with a vengenance and I cant seem to get away from it. I need some help, I don't know what I am doing wrong to keep havin these feelings....I don't like it.[email protected]
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Norway
Posts: 35
WOW! I was taking a bath and relaxing and then I come back here and you all totally support me! this is so great. I want to thank you all for taking a little time and cheer me up! You are living proof that it is hope!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Norway
Posts: 35
Originally Posted by Sheila M.
I am 170 days clean from Heroin and I am really struggling right now, I have talked to my sponser, support group, go to meetings and share about it, but I am really tryin to keep my head above water, that feelin just won't leave me, my addiction is callin me back with a vengenance and I cant seem to get away from it. I need some help, I don't know what I am doing wrong to keep havin these feelings....I don't like it.[email protected]
SO glad to hear you quit heroin, thats a terrible drug and I know so many who is hooked on that....friends, relatives, and my ex fiancee. Hope to talk to you in MSN. We can do this together!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Connellsville PA
Posts: 3
Originally Posted by Wolverine
Hang in there Sheila! welcome to this board! I added your email to my MSN messenger list...dont know if youre there.
SO glad to hear you quit heroin, thats a terrible drug and I know so many who is hooked on that....friends, relatives, and my ex fiancee. Hope to talk to you in MSN. We can do this together!
SO glad to hear you quit heroin, thats a terrible drug and I know so many who is hooked on that....friends, relatives, and my ex fiancee. Hope to talk to you in MSN. We can do this together!
Thank you for your response, I did hang in there and I am feeling so much better now. Yes heroin is hard to kick, my ex finance' just overdosed on Sunday and thank god he is okay, I just wish he would desire this life, that he would get it....but I can only worry about myself. I love this new way of life, by gods grace on 5/10/05 I will celebrate 6 months. I have a personal e-mail.. which is [email protected] which I check several times a day. It just helps knowing that there are others out there that really do care.
Meetings Coordinator
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 374
wolverine give sober and clean life sometime its not usually great right off the bat. you'll probably going through a detox in which case your right it will be very hard to do normal stuff around the house dont give up!!! sheila i added your name to my msn list too PM and i'll send ya my email address so you can add me if you like 
good luck everyone (5 months sober here) we can get through this together!!
good luck everyone (5 months sober here) we can get through this together!!
Sweet Sounds of Heaven
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Point Blue, Louisiana
Posts: 1,144
Wolverine, I can so relate to you. I remember feeling the same way you do.
The longer you stay clean the better you will feel. You will be amazed the things you can do when you are clean.
Damm them pills for making us think so little of ourselves.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
p.s. 7 days is a major accoplishment for us drug addicts. Keep up the good work.
The longer you stay clean the better you will feel. You will be amazed the things you can do when you are clean.
Damm them pills for making us think so little of ourselves.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
p.s. 7 days is a major accoplishment for us drug addicts. Keep up the good work.
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