need help...first time here
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Got any meetings where you live?
I've never tried to get serious about stopping until I joined AA. You might try the womans site on here if, you've got any questions you might want to say with just the nice ladies on here
welcome to the site
Chris
I've never tried to get serious about stopping until I joined AA. You might try the womans site on here if, you've got any questions you might want to say with just the nice ladies on here
welcome to the site
Chris
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: getting closer
Posts: 24
hi.. this is my first time trying stop drinking, ect. and i've been sober for 2 weeks so i don't know much but here's what i have learned:
-go to a meeting and LISTEN. people say a lot of crazy sh*t but i've never heard anyone say they regret getting sober.
-one day at a time. this is something everyone will tell you a lot but repeat it to yourself..and sometimes it's one hour at a time or one minute but that's how you do it no matter how bad you feel just try to get through that next moment w/out a drink (or whatever) and that is a victory.
-even if you don't believe in God or even a "higher power" talk to him and thank him and ask him to give you strength. If spirituality is new to you this may seem silly but nobody gets through aa w/out accepting god in some way, and there is a reason for that. your recovery depends on others: people in the program, your sponsor, and your god. you need these people to depend on because it is really hard to stop by yourself so why make it harder for yourself ? use aa as a support system
..i wish you the very best in your recovery and look forward to hearing from you again.
-go to a meeting and LISTEN. people say a lot of crazy sh*t but i've never heard anyone say they regret getting sober.
-one day at a time. this is something everyone will tell you a lot but repeat it to yourself..and sometimes it's one hour at a time or one minute but that's how you do it no matter how bad you feel just try to get through that next moment w/out a drink (or whatever) and that is a victory.
-even if you don't believe in God or even a "higher power" talk to him and thank him and ask him to give you strength. If spirituality is new to you this may seem silly but nobody gets through aa w/out accepting god in some way, and there is a reason for that. your recovery depends on others: people in the program, your sponsor, and your god. you need these people to depend on because it is really hard to stop by yourself so why make it harder for yourself ? use aa as a support system
..i wish you the very best in your recovery and look forward to hearing from you again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Enid OK
Posts: 39
I know I shouldn't be afraid of going to meetings, truth is..the only one that knows about my addiction is my husband. It would devistate my family if they knew. I wish there is a private way to deal with this....but, I've always heard that it is the meetings that helps it happen. Thanks for your support and I wish you well too
We all need each other.
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The road of happy destiny.
Posts: 2,294
Hello Spooky--Welcome to SR! I was afraid to go to meetings at first too. Now I go because I want to. They are an integral part of my recovery. I could not have stayed sober this long without them and the 12-steps.
Glad you are here. Keep posting!!
Glad you are here. Keep posting!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 375
Hi Spooky - It is possible to quit on your own - I did it, and so do loads of others.
Which bit of quitting is the scariest? I started by making a list of all the things I could do if I wasn't drinking - it was a bit of advice I read on the internet somewhere. At first I struggled to find one or two things to put on the list - but after a while it started to come to me. Focus on the positive changes it will make to your life when you've quit.
There are loads of things to consider - from the medical side of things - to standing in front of the mirror and practising how to turn down the offer of a drink from a friend , that you'll need to think about.
Just keep asking and posting here - be strong and positive and you can look forward to the future, and not the next drink.
Good luck,
Deg.
Which bit of quitting is the scariest? I started by making a list of all the things I could do if I wasn't drinking - it was a bit of advice I read on the internet somewhere. At first I struggled to find one or two things to put on the list - but after a while it started to come to me. Focus on the positive changes it will make to your life when you've quit.
There are loads of things to consider - from the medical side of things - to standing in front of the mirror and practising how to turn down the offer of a drink from a friend , that you'll need to think about.
Just keep asking and posting here - be strong and positive and you can look forward to the future, and not the next drink.
Good luck,
Deg.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NYC, NY
Posts: 193
Hi there Spooky
Congratulations on your decision to stop drinking. As many people told me, it will most likely be the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life and the most rewarding. As I too am new to this, I am experiencing the roller coaster of early sobriety. Many great days as sobriety becomes easier and familiar, and also lots of emotions and questions.
My early strategy has been to do a lot of research and reading into various recovery programs, learning as much as I can about this process and trying to stay with an open mind and heart. There are many resources on the internet to get you started and of course SR is a wonderful source also. There is lots of information about AA on the web, as well as other programs such as SMART, Rational Recovery, Life Ring...just to name a few. Hopefully, you will start to find information that speaks to you...At least they all start with the same idea!!! You really have to want to stop.
Best Wishes and Strength to you.
Congratulations on your decision to stop drinking. As many people told me, it will most likely be the hardest thing you'll ever do in your life and the most rewarding. As I too am new to this, I am experiencing the roller coaster of early sobriety. Many great days as sobriety becomes easier and familiar, and also lots of emotions and questions.
My early strategy has been to do a lot of research and reading into various recovery programs, learning as much as I can about this process and trying to stay with an open mind and heart. There are many resources on the internet to get you started and of course SR is a wonderful source also. There is lots of information about AA on the web, as well as other programs such as SMART, Rational Recovery, Life Ring...just to name a few. Hopefully, you will start to find information that speaks to you...At least they all start with the same idea!!! You really have to want to stop.
Best Wishes and Strength to you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Minneapolis MN
Posts: 404
Welcome Spooky!
I would really encourage you to go to a meeting - the meetings that I have gone to have all been very warm and welcoming. It is nice to be with a group that understands our situation (being an alcoholic for me). Stick around here - a lot of nice people that want to help. Good luck!
I would really encourage you to go to a meeting - the meetings that I have gone to have all been very warm and welcoming. It is nice to be with a group that understands our situation (being an alcoholic for me). Stick around here - a lot of nice people that want to help. Good luck!
old enough to know BETTER!!!!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: NY, NY
Posts: 396
Hi spooky! I'm in the same boat. Have yet to attend an AA meeting. I was all set, however, to check myself into rehab (and that takes a lot) .... even though my family was about to intervene and I fought them tooth and nail and was hurt by their interference. Sadly, it took a close call to see the dangerous road I've been on the past 3 years and to realize that they were doing this out of love and concern for ME!
I'm new here too ... been here less than a week.
From reading some of the posts and from all the input the good people here have provided me .... THIS FEELS LIKE HOME .... more than home! I'm actually alone for the first time tonite in 6 mos. and I was so fearful that I might SLIP and relapse and go to the liquor store .... but luckily I have this wonderful forum that has kept me from doing so!
You're actually lucky that your family and friends, for the exception of your husband, do not know about your addiction. But, on the other side of that .... YOU ARE WHO NEEDS HEALING .... and do this for YOU and no one else. What I've learned is that I am NO GOOD to my family or friends (including my beautiful teenage daughters) unless I can myself back on track. It's a long time a coming .... but atleast I have FINALLY admitted to MYSELF that I have a problem. I think that's the reason I fear going to meetings .... I'm afraid to hear myself saying I have an addiction problem ... OUT LOUD! BUT, I know it's also going to be a Gods' send and lifesaving tool to actually go and benefit by getting help from those that have been in my shoes.
I'm new here too ... been here less than a week.
From reading some of the posts and from all the input the good people here have provided me .... THIS FEELS LIKE HOME .... more than home! I'm actually alone for the first time tonite in 6 mos. and I was so fearful that I might SLIP and relapse and go to the liquor store .... but luckily I have this wonderful forum that has kept me from doing so!
You're actually lucky that your family and friends, for the exception of your husband, do not know about your addiction. But, on the other side of that .... YOU ARE WHO NEEDS HEALING .... and do this for YOU and no one else. What I've learned is that I am NO GOOD to my family or friends (including my beautiful teenage daughters) unless I can myself back on track. It's a long time a coming .... but atleast I have FINALLY admitted to MYSELF that I have a problem. I think that's the reason I fear going to meetings .... I'm afraid to hear myself saying I have an addiction problem ... OUT LOUD! BUT, I know it's also going to be a Gods' send and lifesaving tool to actually go and benefit by getting help from those that have been in my shoes.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Beaver, WA
Posts: 1,346
((((((Spooky)))))))
Welcome aboard. A private way to open the door prior to going to the meetings that might help is calling the local AA Hotline usually listed in phone books. They can often answer questions regarding concerns and also provide updated Meeting times and places. I call the local hotlines when out of town when I forget my directory of meetings and also to thank whomever is on them for being there to serve.
Hope to catch up in chat live-time with you sometime down the road and look forward to seeing your progress.
(((((((Spooky))))))))
3 Legacy
Welcome aboard. A private way to open the door prior to going to the meetings that might help is calling the local AA Hotline usually listed in phone books. They can often answer questions regarding concerns and also provide updated Meeting times and places. I call the local hotlines when out of town when I forget my directory of meetings and also to thank whomever is on them for being there to serve.
Hope to catch up in chat live-time with you sometime down the road and look forward to seeing your progress.
(((((((Spooky))))))))
3 Legacy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Enid OK
Posts: 39
Thanks to everyone who has welcomed me. It was hard to face up to and acknowledge I have a problem with alcohol. I am proud I made it thru the night *without a drink*. I told my husband last night that I have decided to quit drinking. He seemed to have a happy hopefull look about him although he just said "ok" and didn't want to make a big deal of it. I know he wants to help me, but doesn't want to "spook" me either. For the first time in 3 years I actually picked up a book and read before going to sleep. This in lue of passing out felt great not to mention I didn't have a pounding headache this morning. I did have headache problems last night before bed but took tylenol and hot tea and read. Right now I can only see hours away..not days yet. I do have a strong want for that mellow relaxed feeling the drink gives me as opposed to the anxious knawing I have right now. I want to get al little stronger before checking into meetings. If I get myself to nervous this early I won't just rock the boat I'll blow a hole strait thru the bottom and sink. That is the last thing I want right now, I feel like I've crawled at least part way from a dark hole toward the light.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 375
Hi Spooky - glad you made it back here and got this far. I was in a similar situation , my wife enjoys a couple of glasses of wine three times a week - sometimes four and has never felt the urge to have a third. She didn't believe I'd stop, ever - I'd tried loads of times but never made it past 3 days.
IT WILL GET EASIER. I would add flashing lights and bells to that if I could. It doesn't feel like it I know, but it will.
Get ready and prepared for some 'interesting' times over the next few weeks - your body and mind will start playing tricks on you like you wouldn't believe. Make a list of all the places and ways you'll be tempted and make some plans to deal with it now. You'll need it before long.
Well done making the first step, deciding to quit and making the first step is the hardest and boldest move you'll ever make - You should be proud of yourself. And treat yourself allready - go out and spend the money you'll be saving and enjoy a few chocolates knowing you'll probably still be getting through fewer calories. Big up the benefits of being sober - they're all yours.
Deg.
IT WILL GET EASIER. I would add flashing lights and bells to that if I could. It doesn't feel like it I know, but it will.
Get ready and prepared for some 'interesting' times over the next few weeks - your body and mind will start playing tricks on you like you wouldn't believe. Make a list of all the places and ways you'll be tempted and make some plans to deal with it now. You'll need it before long.
Well done making the first step, deciding to quit and making the first step is the hardest and boldest move you'll ever make - You should be proud of yourself. And treat yourself allready - go out and spend the money you'll be saving and enjoy a few chocolates knowing you'll probably still be getting through fewer calories. Big up the benefits of being sober - they're all yours.
Deg.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Enid OK
Posts: 39
Day 3! Its great to know I've made it this far. I hope the tylenol continues to work for the colossal headaches I get at night. It was great to remember kissing my husband goodnight. I'm working on the courage to go to a meeting, just haven't gotten there yet. I've learned that another habit that comes along with drinking is having the glass in your hand all the time. I was really fidigeting last night, so I made some fruit punch coolaide. I drank almost the entire picture. It helped with the nerves. I'm feeling okay about today and have planed to cook a nice dinner tonight which should distract from that familuar time of day I always started drinking my wine. It is great to come here and hear all the support and most of all hear from people who know how hard this is.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 375
Well done Spooky,
Try vitamin B supplements - I found worked wonders on my head when I first quit. LOL! you reminded me of when I cooked at weekends, It always seemed reasonable to start drinking as I started cooking and I'd start cooking earlier and earlier - then be so plastered I'd either chop a chunk out of my hand chopping something, or burn myself, or just plain make a complete hash of the whole thing. It was awful.
Keep up the good work.
Deg.
Try vitamin B supplements - I found worked wonders on my head when I first quit. LOL! you reminded me of when I cooked at weekends, It always seemed reasonable to start drinking as I started cooking and I'd start cooking earlier and earlier - then be so plastered I'd either chop a chunk out of my hand chopping something, or burn myself, or just plain make a complete hash of the whole thing. It was awful.
Keep up the good work.
Deg.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Life Is Short
Posts: 2,017
Hi spooky and findingme...a warm welcome coming your way, so happy you've found SoberRecovery.....you've been blessed.
Oh I could tell you about meetings, and my mistake with them.
First I hope you get over your fears about attending them, guess who's at them, ALL OF US HERE, yep that's who's there, and we aren't that scarey are we. My first time walking through the doors, was about 3 years ago, so hungover, scared half to death, sat in my vehicle half an hour before the meeting started, really wanting to leave....my mistake was not going in then....I did go in, but at the last minute, didn't talk to anyone, I absorbed every word that was said at the meeting, and it was GREAT...I couldn't get out of there fast enough either..another BIG MISTAKE...not realising the gang there were just like me. I've tried a couple other times since, and they work, honest, they work. My problem right now is letting some of my family sway me from going....stupid me....a daughter who doesn't like me drinking, then gets upset when I go to meetings...I tried going again a couple weeks ago, and let her and my hubby work on my sick brain again about not going...he drinks, and not about to stop, so guess I'm a threat if I help myself. Ok done rambling here, I pray you go, the gang there are wonderful, you have nothing to be afraid of, GO EARLY, if someone doesn't come and talk to you, talk to anyone close, ramble on, that's what I did, I got names and numbers, which I had used.
Don't let anyone stop you from going, or sway your thinking ok, there's nothing to be afraid of or embarrassed about not a thing, I figure getting drunk and blacking out stumbling around, and who knows what else goes on is embarrassing beyond words, the shame and the rest of what comes with it.....AA is great, and it WORKS, I'm looking for the strength to go back again, tell my family leave me alone, so tired of being sick all the time....aren't we?
Sooooo happy you've found us, welcome to your new family, the gang here are the best, the best teachers, let them guide you.
Good thoughts going your way......Denise
Oh I could tell you about meetings, and my mistake with them.
First I hope you get over your fears about attending them, guess who's at them, ALL OF US HERE, yep that's who's there, and we aren't that scarey are we. My first time walking through the doors, was about 3 years ago, so hungover, scared half to death, sat in my vehicle half an hour before the meeting started, really wanting to leave....my mistake was not going in then....I did go in, but at the last minute, didn't talk to anyone, I absorbed every word that was said at the meeting, and it was GREAT...I couldn't get out of there fast enough either..another BIG MISTAKE...not realising the gang there were just like me. I've tried a couple other times since, and they work, honest, they work. My problem right now is letting some of my family sway me from going....stupid me....a daughter who doesn't like me drinking, then gets upset when I go to meetings...I tried going again a couple weeks ago, and let her and my hubby work on my sick brain again about not going...he drinks, and not about to stop, so guess I'm a threat if I help myself. Ok done rambling here, I pray you go, the gang there are wonderful, you have nothing to be afraid of, GO EARLY, if someone doesn't come and talk to you, talk to anyone close, ramble on, that's what I did, I got names and numbers, which I had used.
Don't let anyone stop you from going, or sway your thinking ok, there's nothing to be afraid of or embarrassed about not a thing, I figure getting drunk and blacking out stumbling around, and who knows what else goes on is embarrassing beyond words, the shame and the rest of what comes with it.....AA is great, and it WORKS, I'm looking for the strength to go back again, tell my family leave me alone, so tired of being sick all the time....aren't we?
Sooooo happy you've found us, welcome to your new family, the gang here are the best, the best teachers, let them guide you.
Good thoughts going your way......Denise
Paige
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 48
Hi Spooky!
Welcome to SR. You will find a lot of great people here. I am on my 86th day, so I am not a veteran of sobriety. However, if you would have told me 87 days ago that I could be sober this long, I never woud have believed. I owe a lot of that to this website. It took me a long time to gather the courage to go to my first AA meeting. I was terrified. What if people knew me? What if the people were scary? If I call myself and "alcoholic", I may faint! All sorts of nonsense was in my head. I finally gathered the courage to go...cried the whole time...and met some of the BEST people I have ever met in my life. Now I go to 3 meetings a week. It is so wonderful to gain acceptance from people who understand EXACTY how you feel and what you are going through. It helps me stay sober, and I am thankful for every person in every chair. I hope you go! You will NOT regret it. There was a brilliant woman in my very first AA meeting who told me: "Now you will never have to go to your FIRST meeting again!" Made me feel better...and I am happy to report that when I say my name is Paige and I am an alcoholic...I no longer faint! I thank God for the meetings, and I hope you can find comfort there too! Keep Posting! I will look for you!
Paige
Welcome to SR. You will find a lot of great people here. I am on my 86th day, so I am not a veteran of sobriety. However, if you would have told me 87 days ago that I could be sober this long, I never woud have believed. I owe a lot of that to this website. It took me a long time to gather the courage to go to my first AA meeting. I was terrified. What if people knew me? What if the people were scary? If I call myself and "alcoholic", I may faint! All sorts of nonsense was in my head. I finally gathered the courage to go...cried the whole time...and met some of the BEST people I have ever met in my life. Now I go to 3 meetings a week. It is so wonderful to gain acceptance from people who understand EXACTY how you feel and what you are going through. It helps me stay sober, and I am thankful for every person in every chair. I hope you go! You will NOT regret it. There was a brilliant woman in my very first AA meeting who told me: "Now you will never have to go to your FIRST meeting again!" Made me feel better...and I am happy to report that when I say my name is Paige and I am an alcoholic...I no longer faint!
I thank God for the meetings, and I hope you can find comfort there too! Keep Posting! I will look for you!Paige
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