littlebopeep

My partners just come in from work, saying he's going out tonite partying. I know he's going to get absolutely spanked. Im going to be sitting in all night alone, with the baby, chewing my own head off. He asked if I want a bottle of wine and 2 grams of coke to sit in with. Right now u dont know how tempted I am to say yes when he comes back from the shop in a minute.

Lonliness is a bitch.

Wolverine

i know how u feel. it doesnt sound that relationship is good for u now that you try to stay sober.

the first time i quit, i also had to dump my current bf cause he was using. it was hard but had to be done

Chy

Awww.... hang in there, can you make some sober plans? Take the baby for a nice walk, go to a park, see a movie with a friend? Go to dinner at a fun place for you and the baby?.... now don't do it! The first weekends are the hardest. You'll be sooooooo proud of yourself when you wake up sober and clear headed and can snicker at him in his misery.

littlebopeep

I dont know what time it is where u are, but over here its 20 to 5 in the afternoon. A lonely evening is looming ahead. Baby will be in bed about 8ish. My stomachs already got that familiar tickly feeling. Ill try my hardest. Maybe if I stick around here tonight, try to read some positive stories or something....

Chy

Yes, stick around here, go into chat and see if the girls are there, if it means sitting here for the next 4 hours you can do that to, I do it all the time! *LOL*... it's morning here, I'll be checking in on you and pm me if you need a shoulder. I can't go into chat from work, but I'll be online in and out for the next few hours as I leave my computer logged on here at work till I go home.. so I'll be here for you.

Jared112987

I know how you're feeling on teh staying in since I quit I've left my house 2 times in the last 24 days with friends and each time it was for a short period of time but it's what you gotta do to stay clean. If you were a guy I'd tell u to lift all night but just find something you like to do that you can do at home.

littlebopeep

I know what I gotta do. When he goes out and the guy with the coke rings up later to drop it off, I gotta find the strength to say "not interested". Im sitting here now and Im saying I'll do that but when that call comes, I honestly don't know. Looks like a flippin dilemma to me. My bf already bought me a bottle of wine thats in the fridge and 60 cigarettes cos he knows I smoke a lot when Im on the gear. He's got me all set up for the night and he's ******* off. Not a bad one!

Chy

Go unplug your phone right now! Your right about one thing, he's got you all set up to fail! Is that what you want? Is that how you want to end your week? Go dump the wine when you unplug the phone, but keep the cig's

Anna

Wow, Chy is right! Unplug your phone. You don't have to say 'No' if you don't take the call. That would be too tempting for me. Maybe you could have a talk with your husband and tell him how it is for you right now. Of course, you may not get his support, but it's worth a try. Hang in there and I'm here too if you need to talk.

Love, Anna

littlebopeep

Your right, Ill wait till he goes out.

(I could never chuck a packet a cigs away. I'd rather eat my own eyebrows)

Anna

Hang on littlebopeep. You really do get stronger each time you beat an urge. Keep posting.

Love, Anna

littlebopeep

Well he's gone out partying, Im going to try not to answer the phone. I'll see how bad things get later.


xxxx

lulu70

Just wanted to let you know that I am here for you too. You CAN do this, and then the next time will be easier. Hang in there and hang out with us. Hopefully, at this point, you are almost through the evening and can go to bed soon. Think how great it will be to laugh at him, all hung-over, when you get up in the morning.

hopealwayz

I'm sorry that you have to to thru this. Right now, just focus on you staying sober. Having a partner that still uses is so rough but just focus on taking care of yourself.

And tomorrow, when he is feeling like crap, you will be up and ready to face your day. Misery loves company. Don't let him pull you back down into the depths of hell.

Just think of the love that you have for your little one. Look into those eyes and see a huge reason to stay clean and sober tonight. These are special and precious times meant to be enjoyed for each and every second. They are that small only once.

Don't give in and PM me if you need to. I'm praying for you.

littlebopeep

All those messages mean so much, and you, hopealwayz, thats really touched me. I think Im just gonna hang around here awhile and make a big fat nuicence (if I could spell it) of myself. Im gonna chip upstairs, give little Archie a bath, and then come down and make myself a cuppa tea (we british are good at tea in a crisis) and if that guy knocks on my door with 2g's, I'll batter him with the baby's rubber duck.....

hopealwayz

That is a good plan. Stick around here tonight. I'll be here at SR as much as I can be just in case you need someone to talk with. Take it one moment at a time. Dont' give in tonight and you will be so thankful tomorrow when you wake up feeling GREAT!

Each time you don't give in, you get stronger. There is strength to be gained here. I know you can get thru this.

We are all here for you reaching out.

You deserve so much better than a life filled with alcohol and drugs.

Keep hanging in and hanging on.

Love,
Hope

quercusalba

Bobeep - I'm here, too - don't give in. I know how freaking hard it is... all of us here do, that's why we understand the horrible, tough corner you're in right now. Unplug that phone. Pour that wine away! Anna's right - every time you resist an urge, you build your strength to resist the next time... it's kinda like building muscles. You can do this! You are here because you want to stop the madness. You can pull through this and wake up tomorrow morning bright and full of life!

Thinking of you and pulling for you,
anne

CAPTAINZING2000

Lead us not into temptation. Thank God, no one has wanted to dump nose candy on me since I'e been clean and sober!!!!!

Play the tape over in your head. What happens to you after you drink and drug??? That's what you have to keep in mind!!!

You don't have to answer the phone or, the door. You have any support? It's easier to have someone in the program friend or family to help you fight this. I'm not good company by myself. My mind is a dangerous playground.

Stay on here vent those feelings don't surrender. Each day of our life, there's little pit falls we have to steer around. This is one of them.

littlebopeep

Thank you all so much. I find Im just jumping from one task to another at the moment. Sort of like this...

Bath Archie, make cup of tea, have ciggie, more tea, play with baby, watch Simpsons, make more tea, have ciggie...

you know, trying to keep the old grey matter going and trying to ignore the tickly feeling in my stomache.


Thanks guys. Really.

Kissy kisses xxxx

Lunachic

"Hang on Sweetie"!!!!!

How you doin'???

Just to let ya' know youre in my thoughts n' prayers...Luna/Lynda