worried girl

Whoops, I think I posted this in the wrong spot before, I just saw this forum, sorry for the double post..

Anyways, I’m new here and don’t know if I belong here (that’s where I was hoping you could help me). I’m 23 and have been drinking since I was 13. By the time I was 15 I got drunk every weekend. When I graduated high school I moved to live in London for a year and got very drunk every night, with the exception of those nights I was doing other drugs. I drank like this through my first three years of university, I would drink about 1-2 bottles of wine per night. When I was 21 I had to cut down because I got severe hypoglycaemia and panic attacks. I still drank a lot when my health was up to it for about a year. Now, I drink about 4-5 times a week, but not very much when I do (about 2 drinks). I never get hungover anymore, never get “drunk”, and it doesn’t effect my life. However, right now I am on antibiotics and can’t drink and am finding it really hard. I can’t sleep at night, I can’t relax, I really want a drink. I don’t like labels but am starting to think my youthful “wild days” may have been an indication of something other than that I like to party. How concerned should I be about my drinking habits? I don’t drink to get drunk anymore at all, I really don’t enjoy being falling down drunk, but I drink for a mild buzz quite often.

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I should also mention every male in my family (2 brothers, father, uncles etc) is an alcoholic (my father has been sober about 15-20 years though). I didn’t grow up around alcoholics, my dad quit before I remember him being drunk. My brothers didn’t start until I was older. There have been no female alcoholics in my family, so I always thought I couldn’t be one.

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Anyways, sorry this is so long, just thought someone could give me their 2 cents on things.
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historyteach

Worried;
Alcoholism knows no gender. It hits both males and females in the gut.
That being said, many people go through a bender in their wild and crazy days of youth. And your not drinking like that anymore.
But, you did get sick from drinking. And it's annoying you that you can't drink right now due to meds. Those may be warning signs. Certainly something to look at, anyway.
I wish you the best. Stay and have a look around. See if you can relate to any of the stories on the forums for alcoholism.
Only you can determine if you have a drinking problem. Asking the question is a good start, IMHO.
Shalom!

LucyUK

hiya,

firstly just wanted to welcome you to SR, it is a fantastic place to get support and information!

I heard it said that alcohol is an equal opportunities destroyer any one in any walk of life can be an alcoholic. I have also heard that the addicitive gene or tendency towards addictive behaviours (not necessarily the same addictions) can run in families (but that's not to say it can't be managed, especially if you are looking out for it) and that seems to be true for me.

I too partied hard in my *youth* (I'm 31 LOL!) and only recently became aware my drinking is a problem. I wasn't drinking as much as some, by a long way, but for me, my disease is a mental addiction - whether I am actually drinking or not, I am thinking about it, to the exclusion of all else. When I am spending the day with my children I am mentally counting down the hours til they go to bed and I can have a drink, and I get resentful towards them. So what I'm trying to say is, if controlling it or abstaining from it is messing with your head, then you might want to look into it more... *normal* drinkers don't worry about stuff like this

keep us updated!

Stephanie

Hi Worried

Welcome to SR. I always like to say that people who are not addicted usually don't come to a recovery web-site to ask if they are although having two drinks a night is definitely not a sign of alcohol addiction because about the time alcoholism takes hold it's very hard to stop at only two drinks. Only you know if stopping after two is hard for you.

Bottom line is that alcoholism is a progressive disease. It may start off slow but eventually you need more and more to feel the same effects. Also alcoholism is genetic and it sounds like you are at risk. I would consider what you may have learned by having to stop for this brief period and perhaps try to nip it in the bud. We;re glad you're here. Take a look around and make yourself at home

worried girl

Thanks for your replies, it helps. I think I am paranoid because of the many alcoholics/drug addicts in my family. I think for me it is definitely a mental thing too. I have a lot of depression and anxiety and use alcohol to help with this. Sometimes I get worse than others. When my health is up to it I drink a lot more, and have a lot of trouble stopping when I start, then I end up getting sick and cut down for a while. I know in my head that drinking is causing me a lot of health problems but can't quit. I've cut down a lot, so I'm not a raging unfunctional drunk like I used to be, but I still drink almost every day (and I should mention those two drinks I have are usually triples). A couple friends are coming over tonight and I kinda wished they weren't because I can't drink and it won't be that fun without booze.

I guess by looking around the board I have it a lot better than some people (and looking at my family I have it a lot better than them).

Thanks again for the replies, it helps me figure things out just to talk about it, since the last thing this family needs is another alcoholic!

(I just really wanted to try out one of those cool smiley things, a dancing banana oooooh!)