Back to Square One :|
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Baltimore,MD
Posts: 42
Back to Square One :|
Seems i broke down .. not sure why all I know is I can't deal w\ that anymore it is starting to affect the very aspects in my life I am trying to hold onto .. But Decided last night at 11pm that was it so now to get back to my plan .. I have serious back problems so I am sure the pain set it off the other day .. But as I said 11pm EST Thursday was it :p If One of the people that run the board could email please as well .. Seems I have an issue w\ My "Nick" LoL was wondering if I could change it ...
(knucklehead
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: earth
Posts: 694
CC, dont be to hard on your self it happens. The important thing is to learn from our mistakes so that we dont repeat them again. Get some rest, drink some water, eat some food, and dont forget to breathe.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 74
:hello Hi ya' CosmicCharlie!!! Hey...quit thinkin' so much!! Damm I KNOW how hard it is~~~~one beer...I been "tossin'" that thinkin' around for 2 months...thanx for reminding me, it's NEVER one for me...an it NEVER..made me feel any better...fight hard buddy..don't drink.
I like your nic!!!!....Lunachic (((hugs)))
I like your nic!!!!....Lunachic (((hugs)))
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
That stinkin' thinkin' always tries to lie to us to make picking up seem better than it is. Don't give in to these thoughts because once the first one is picked up, it is all downward spiral from there. It is never "just one". Just push through this thing head on and keep fighting. Do everything you can but don't pick up. Trust me, picking up the first one is not worth it and you will always regret it in the end. Trust me, I found out the hard way.
Stick with the winners. You, my friend, are a winner.
Love,
Hope
Stick with the winners. You, my friend, are a winner.
Love,
Hope
Miss Behavin'
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: regina,saskatchewan
Posts: 966
Welcome back...one minute at a time if need be......you can do it.....i have faith in you!!! It's all a choice........Keep coming here and reaching out, these first days WILL be tough, no gettin' around it, over it, under it........gotta go through it! But.....you can heal by not pickin up.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Baltimore,MD
Posts: 42
Ya know it is rather funny .. I lived on Cocain for more then 2months one summer; and by lived I mean day in day out we would do it, and yet Never had a problem quitting that LOL Just woke up and Said I was done an that was it .. But w\ the Booze I get all kindz of nasty w\draw feelings .. Makes ya wonder if we are not destined for certain pitfalls at birth just to build up strength and charecter .. Still feeling rough but now not sure if it is my back or w\ draw ) 34hrs though 
) 34hrs though Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
Originally Posted by CosmicCharlie
Ya know it is rather funny .. I lived on Cocain for more then 2months one summer; and by lived I mean day in day out we would do it, and yet Never had a problem quitting that LOL Just woke up and Said I was done an that was it .. But w\ the Booze I get all kindz of nasty w\draw feelings
Hang in there, it *will* get better!!
Hope
knucklehead
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: earth
Posts: 694
CC, Glad you made it through another day. A new one is here again. Arnt you the lucky one? I know I am so very lucky to also have a new day. I guess there is going to be a very big difference for you with quitting the booze then the coke. It seems to be more of an obsticle in your path then the cocaine. Nothing left to do except smile roll up your sleves and stay with your plan. It seems like it is going to take some work on your part to slay this dragon. Keep writing on your thread it will be a good friend now. You do have many friends here we are all on the same old ocean liner destination sobriety. That first drink is a trap dont be snared by it. good luck
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Baltimore,MD
Posts: 42
Thanx for the kind words .. I am holding on .. Just between my back an this w\draw it seems to be really kickin my butt .. But as I said I have a Plan an I NEED to stick to it I will keep posting cause right now this seems to be the only thing keeping me sane :p
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: The Field of Dreams
Posts: 7,249
Then keep posting CC.We will be right here.I do know how the back thing is also.I was in a car accident a couple years ago and wound up with a ruptured disc.I ahve literally had to crawl to the bathroom the pain was almost unbearable.But,I made it and so can you.Just keep posting.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Baltimore,MD
Posts: 42
Yea seems all I have todo right now is post cause I know I go out 2day I will buy beer :| Seems so easy to fix myself that away then to ride this through right now .. It is just rough the mental aspect I can handle .. Well so far LoL
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: QVB NYC NY
Posts: 620
yo charlie,
one question keeps entering my mind as i read your threads.......*how much does charlie really want this*?
don't take this wrong, i'm not questioning you, just curious i guess. because i relate to what you're saying. you don't have to do this your way. you can get help. i have 4 herniated discs, all in the lumbar so i know the pain and discomfort. and i too thought only getting wasted would help.
i also was a very big drinker, 30 beers a day on average, had no problem with pills, could take um or leave um. the coke was big!!! but only to keep me up to drink more. i could take it or leave it too. but i always had to have my alchohol.
i found out that i couldn't stop by myself. the withdrawal always brought me back, but that was MY CHOICE. my choice to pick up again instead of toughing it out. until i found out i didn't have to tough it out anymore. but again, i was too prideful to ask for help!
i did a few detoxes and rehabs only to find out that i wasn't ready to totally surrender. uncondituional surrender to my disease is what it took for me not to pick up again.
the rehabs made the physical change from an active alcoholic to a recovering one easy. the mental and spiritual changes i'm still going through are preventing me from picking back up!!
i will have two years clean, and 1 1/2 years sober in three months! i say that because i believe there is a big difference between not drinking and being sober.
but even with that much time behind me, i still have thousands of excuses to drink, but none of them are a good enough reason!
one question keeps entering my mind as i read your threads.......*how much does charlie really want this*?
don't take this wrong, i'm not questioning you, just curious i guess. because i relate to what you're saying. you don't have to do this your way. you can get help. i have 4 herniated discs, all in the lumbar so i know the pain and discomfort. and i too thought only getting wasted would help.
i also was a very big drinker, 30 beers a day on average, had no problem with pills, could take um or leave um. the coke was big!!! but only to keep me up to drink more. i could take it or leave it too. but i always had to have my alchohol.
i found out that i couldn't stop by myself. the withdrawal always brought me back, but that was MY CHOICE. my choice to pick up again instead of toughing it out. until i found out i didn't have to tough it out anymore. but again, i was too prideful to ask for help!
i did a few detoxes and rehabs only to find out that i wasn't ready to totally surrender. uncondituional surrender to my disease is what it took for me not to pick up again.
the rehabs made the physical change from an active alcoholic to a recovering one easy. the mental and spiritual changes i'm still going through are preventing me from picking back up!!
i will have two years clean, and 1 1/2 years sober in three months! i say that because i believe there is a big difference between not drinking and being sober.
but even with that much time behind me, i still have thousands of excuses to drink, but none of them are a good enough reason!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
