july

hi! i'm a new person. just curious to know when you realized you had a problem. did someone else have to tell you? i feel like i might have a drinking issue but then again i feel like maybe i just drink a bit more than the other girls do...or boys for that matter. so what really classifies as a "problem?" can i just say i just experienced deja vu when writing this?

Roxann

Hi July. I didn't have a drinking problem, mine DOC is prescription pain pills. I knew that I had a problem, when I started to realize that if I kept using drugs at the rate I was, I'd be dead within 6 months. I couldn't take care of myself, or my kids anymore. My days revolved aroud finding pills, taking pills etc.


I'm glad you are here. SR is a great place to be. ((HUGS))

Time4Me11

Hi July

I had my first real private conversations with myself about having a problem when I started hiding bottles in my house. There are many indicators and they are well outlined in different questionaires that you will find posted on almost any site referring to Alcoholism. Check one out and answer it honestly...guess is, you already know and just haven't totally admitted it yet. Great that you found your way to SR! It will be a great support and source of information for you.

llenroc66

I'm Cody and I'm an alcoholic.

I knew I had a problem when the negative consequences became more frequent. I fought with friends, perfomed poorly at work/school, crappy hangovers, etc. Almost all of these negative things happened after I drank.

I knew I had a problem with drinking because I had problems (consequences) after I drank. I just didn't want to say I was an "alcoholic". After meeting and talking to other alcoholics (who were great people) I worried less about the term and more about working on the problem. It is what it is.

Jerry K

It is not a question as do when I knew I had a problem, but more of a question of when I knew I had a disease and that is was taking control of my life.

For me, it was an intervention meeting with my wife of 33 years and my business partner of 25 years who had noticed that my drinking had accelerated to the point where I was going to work at 5 am just to get a buzz on before anyone else showed up.

When I look back, here are some of my memories that confirm the fact that I am alcoholic:

1) At family outings, I could not wait to get back home so I could have that first cocktail, which would soon be followed by at least three more.
2) Every single time when we went out for dinner, I made sure that I had a drink of some sort.
3) Each day when I drove home from work, I made sure that there was my bottle of scotch in the house, and if I was unsure, stop and stock up. If it was on sale at Longs, etc., better buy at least two or at times a case!
4) I would try and hide the empty bottles from the garbage man by “hiding them in the can (not recycle) or take to work and discard in the trash there.
5) I used to say to myself, you had better cut back.

What is really interesting is that none of these five things were in the forefront of my mind but became strong memories when I got sober. I look back now and I see so many times when having that drink was so much of a priority in my life.

The best I can advise is to take a real inventory of every action you do in a couple of days and determine just how much really revolves around having a drink.

One real good sign is that do you drink alone? If yes, Why? If you do not know why, then you really do know.

Jerry K.

Phinneas

I knew that I had a problem when I couldn't quit.

Nothing, and I mean nothing I did or didn't do helped. I couldn't stop. No matter how much I wanted to stop, I couldn't. I watched my marriage fall apart, my job disappear, my friends, my possessions go away.... everything I cared about.

At first I took the drink or drug, but eventually the drink and drugs took me.

The good news is that you don't have to lose everything to hit bottom. If you decide that you do have a problem, there is a solution and it is available to you today.

hugs,

phinny

Paulie

If you have to ask, that is something to think about. People that don't have a problem, usually dont' even consider asking someone how they knew.

wingsfree

Hi July....welcome to SoberRecovery, I hope you soon find your answers, they're usually right under our nose.

I agree with Paulie.

july

wow. i just want to thank all of you so so much for responding to this post. i didn't think anyone would answer so i never bothered to check back until now. judging from your comments i would say that maybe i need some help but i'm not so sure i need the help. i just can't imagine not ever drinking again. i mean, i can imagine fully of going out for a good time and then not drinking alone...like every other "normal" person i know. here's my thing: i used to hate alcohol and would pass it up at dinners/holidays. i've had a bit of an obsession with food all my life and when i started working at healthclub (believe it or not) i was introduced to cocaine to control my weight. well, eventually i found the need for it each day to suppress my obsession with food. i started feeling too dependent and sketchy on it after awhile so i turned to booze instead. this subsided my thoughts of food all day but then i realized i was a lot happier/sociable when i was on it so i started drinking at work and eventually got fired. the thing is, i don't feel like i PHYSICALLY need it. i feel it's all mental. does this make me an alcoholic? i don't actually feel the need to drink each day but i do feel the need for it when it comes to interacting with others. thanks again for the responses, everyone.

indigo

You just know!
welcome indigo

blonde26

I knew i had a problem when i needed it to function. Mine wasn't alcohol but MA. It was my coffee, bkfst, lunch, dinner, and my bedtime snack. I just finally started to take control and my life is now a bit more manageable. Work in progress and its working

sickk&tired

Hi July,

I never felt like I physically needed it until I tried to stop drinking for a few days at a time. By the 2nd or third day, I was physically craving it. And for the couple of days I wasn't drinking, I was thinking about it constantly.

(((hugs)))

Patsyd1

Hi July and welcome

I knew that I had a desperate problem with alcohol when we had tried for over 4 years to get pregnant, and when I finally did get pregnant, my very first thought was........ "How the hell am I going to go 9 whole months without a drink?"

That is not a rational thought when one receives the news that the gift that they have been desperate for after 4 yrs of trying, has become a reality.

sunshinebluesky

[/QUOTE]i was introduced to cocaine to control my weight. well, eventually i found the need for it each day to suppress my obsession with food. i started feeling too dependent and sketchy on it after awhile so i turned to booze instead so i started drinking at work and eventually got fired. the thing is, i don't feel like i PHYSICALLY need it.[QUOTE]
does it really matter if it is a physical or mental addiction?
i really hope you will read all of these boards,and look at what could be a possible future for you. i only say this, because i care.

Patsyd1

Hi July,

Its not how much we drink, or how often, its what happens to us...WHEN we drink.

This disease centers in the mind. I have a 3 fold disease. Mental, Physical and Spiritual.

I had an obsession of the mind that insured that I would take the first drink. An obsession of the mind is "a thought that overcomes all other thoughts".

Once I took that first drink ..... that one drink set up a physical compulsion for MORE, and I would continue to drink until I was drunk, sick and out of control.

I thought that I cured my pot problem with booze, and I thought that I had cured my cocaine problem with crank, and I thought I had cured my crank problem with more booze. I had an obsession of the mind that insured that I would take the first "whatever" and I switched addictions all the time, thinking that I had cured the one before. I had no idea that I didn't know, that I didn't know.

The one constant that was prevalent through out all that I used to alter my mind, was booze. Booze was there whether I was smoking pot, doing cocaine, snorting crank, or taking pills. Booze was there no matter what I was trying to cure by switching addictions.

I knew there was something wrong with my "thinking" but I too never felt as if I had a physical need. Until I heard another AA member sharing about the obsession of the mind that insured that he would take the first drink, and after taking the first drink, the obsession of the mind left, but that first drink had set up a physical compulsion, a physical craving for MORE.

I just didn't know that there was a name for the physical part of this disease, its called a physical compulsion that insured that I would continue drinking against my will. I wasn't able to have one drink of alcohol in safety. I would start off "thinking" that I would have just one,.... and end up being drunk out of my mind, and wondering how the heck that happened ......again!

The Spiritual part of this disease for me, was whenever I would find myself moving my own values. I had a good value system, those things that I was taught as a kid, the differences between right and wrong. Well, I just continually moved my own personal values, to get a drink. My own personal value system and my own beliefs, were no longer even recognizable to me anymore.

july

Patsyd1 : i think i relate and see now. thanks so much to all of you. it's good that i keep reading these stories. it's helping me understand a bit more. keep them coming!



The courage to change is a powerful thing. E. Bunny

Ama

Funny how by asking questions we ourselves answer them but we dont alwayz like the answers. I know I didnt......

Patsyd1

(((((((July)))))))))

july

well guys, it seems because i've let life slip from me and failed to take any responsibility i must now move back to my former home (chicago). i'm really not too thrilled and am fearing i will only get more depressed while out there. i'm going to have to get involved with an AA program while i'm there. you'll probably be seeing more of me around here? today was the first day i refused a drink. to be quite honest, when i woke up i felt like i was going to die and i was biting everyone's head off. i knew all i needed to do was take a few sips but i was waiting for someone to pick me up and didn't want them to smell alcohol on me. well, they never showed. i was pretty pissed. i mean, the entire day i could have been drinking instead. later tonight i poured a drink and then realized i started feeling better physically and could think a bit more clearly. finally i just gave it away to someone else. now that i'm sober or whatever i am realizing just how much i have screwed up my life and it's really depressing. it feels like i'm cured in a sense and can handle things from here. it makes me feel really stupid, actually. it's like i know i can handle not drinking again and get my life back on track, but am i lying to myself? did anyone else experience this? i feel like the major reason i needed to drink was to keep myself from eating all day. eating causes the same high almost. i'll admit that because i was not drinking the thoughts of food started again. do people talk about these issues in AA? sorry for asking so many questions. thanks again for the comments.

CAPTAINZING2000

July,

welcome to the site



As Jeff Foxworthy would say, " If You Find Yourself Asking A Question Of Do I have A Drinking Problem ON A AA Related Site, You Might Have A Drinking Problem"

None of us had a drinking problem, we have a stopping problem


chris