Please help
Hi Bymyself,
You dont sound anymore pathetic than i did when i first came around. I had isolated myself completely, was desperately lonely and totally depressed. It can be different to this though. I like my life now.
I would be interested to learn more about your life if you want to talk about it. No pressure though.
Warmest wishes
Evanna.
You dont sound anymore pathetic than i did when i first came around. I had isolated myself completely, was desperately lonely and totally depressed. It can be different to this though. I like my life now.
I would be interested to learn more about your life if you want to talk about it. No pressure though.
Warmest wishes
Evanna.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: LAS VEGAS, NEVADA
Posts: 4
Count Your Blessings
YOU'RE WELCOME TO MY FRIENDS. THEY'RE USERS, LOOSERS, AND BOOZERS. WITH FRIENDS LIKE THAT, WHO NEEDS ENEMIES? (SPELLING?) I WAS THE SAME WAY. I WISH I STILL WAS. I'D HAVE MORE MONEY, AND ALL THE TIME I WASTED ON THEM TOO. BE CAREFULL WHAT YOU WISH FOR, YOU REALLY MIGHT GET IT, AND IT COULD WIND UP BEING A REAL MONKEYS PAW. IF YOU GO TO AA YOU'RE SURE TO FIND A FRIEND. ALCOHOLICS ARE VERY LONELY, MISUNDERSTOOD PEOPLE (IN GENERAL, NOT EVERYBODY) THEY TALK TO YOU, AND THEY LISTEN. ISN'T THAT WHAT A FRIEND IS? I'M GOING TO GO BUY A DOG. RIGHT AFTER I MAKE IT ONE YEAR SOBER. AND IF HE DOESN'T TALK TO ME AND LISTEN TO ME, I'M GOING TO FEED HIM CAT FOOD. THEN I'LL BUY A CAT, ONE THAT CUDDLES WHEN I PUT CAT NIP AROUND MY NECK. IT WILL BE CHEAPER THAN HAVING THE FRIENDS I HAD. ANY WAY, TRY TO CHERISH YOUR TIME. I HAVE SO MANY "FRIENDS" I NEVER HAVE TIME FOR MYSELF. I'M NO FUN TO THEM ANYWAY, I DON'T DRINK ANYMORE...GUESS I'LL HAVE TO MAKE NEW ONES. ANY IDEAS? :hello2
hi...
hi bymyself .... I have no friends either ... I've always been somewhat of a loner friend-wise, so it's "normal" to me. My family are my friends, I guess. I don't really know what hanging out with friends, getting together for coffee or dinner, having company over, etc., is like.
Anyway, I just wanted to say hi and that this is a great place to do the "friend" thing.
I saw your other posts. I know it's "fun" to drink. Drinks gave me the company I needed and made me fake-happy while I was hanging out with them.
BUT, if you put the feeling that you like while you're drinking on one side of a balancing scale, and put everything else that your drinking negatively affects on the other side of that scale (your husband's feelings, your kids feelings and what they're learning watching you, the time you spend emotionally unavailable to your family because you've chosen drinks instead of fully being with them when they need the real "you", your health, job, weight, looks, wasted time being hung over, etc., etc.), it's clearly not worth those few hours of fake-happy hanging out with Mr. Drink.
At least that's how I feel ... and why I'm trying so hard to be happy in other ways. Sober really does feel great, because it's the real me.
Anyway, good luck to you .... You're here on this board for a good reason ... that's a good thing.
~Catt
Anyway, I just wanted to say hi and that this is a great place to do the "friend" thing.
I saw your other posts. I know it's "fun" to drink. Drinks gave me the company I needed and made me fake-happy while I was hanging out with them.
BUT, if you put the feeling that you like while you're drinking on one side of a balancing scale, and put everything else that your drinking negatively affects on the other side of that scale (your husband's feelings, your kids feelings and what they're learning watching you, the time you spend emotionally unavailable to your family because you've chosen drinks instead of fully being with them when they need the real "you", your health, job, weight, looks, wasted time being hung over, etc., etc.), it's clearly not worth those few hours of fake-happy hanging out with Mr. Drink.
At least that's how I feel ... and why I'm trying so hard to be happy in other ways. Sober really does feel great, because it's the real me.
Anyway, good luck to you .... You're here on this board for a good reason ... that's a good thing.
~Catt
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome To SR
for our new members..
Well...aboit friends...
Whan I was active in my alcoholic addiction I could buy friends by sharing my booze.
Once I found AA recovery those people were not interested in me.
My AA friendships are so much deeper as we share our common disease and work on lives with sober pirpose and joy.
Blessing to all who still suffer from addictions.
Well...aboit friends...
Whan I was active in my alcoholic addiction I could buy friends by sharing my booze.
Once I found AA recovery those people were not interested in me.
My AA friendships are so much deeper as we share our common disease and work on lives with sober pirpose and joy.
Blessing to all who still suffer from addictions.
Thank You
I want to thank everyone for welcoming me. I do feel lonely and when I drink I feel happy, fun and I feel like I have a purpose. I don't know the real me anymore. I don't have a happy, loving marriage and I know the problems with my marriage started before I started drinking heavily. I feel as if I lost my spirit, the real Theresa (Me). I want to be me again. I can't really see right now how drinking is negatively affecting me but I know it must be way in the back of my mind. I always tell my self, just tonight, I will cut back on my drinking after tonight. And I feel so good when I'm drinking I say "Why would I want to stop this great feeling" until the morning comes. Thank you for letting vent, it actually feels good to tell someone how I feel.
Take Care.
Theresa
Take Care.
Theresa
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: somewhere
Posts: 3,384
When I first sobered up, I let go of all of my using friends because they kept trying to get me to go back down the party road. I was lonely for so long, but as I stayed in recovery, I made friends with other people who enjoyed a good life without substances. Those are the friendships that matter. Things have a way of falling into place.
Hope
Hope
bymyself... no way do you sounds pathetic... remember we all have been a similiar situtation otherwise we wouldn't really be here would we. no one has come into AA/NA/SR because everything in their life was going great. i know i didnt come in here like that hehe. i lost all my "friends" which is fine that just shows me take the drink away and they are nothing. Stick around SR is a great place to meet friends, i know because they all are my friends and i'm willing to share good luck to you!!
Heidi
Heidi
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 77
You are not pathetic! We all go through it.
If you can, stay away from the bad friends. Go to AA meetings and soon you will meet new people.
I had relationship problems too. I blamed her for all of them. After I sobered up I realized I was as much at fault. If you do this you may also. If this is so you cn try to fix any issues you discover and maybe be able to start over? I was not but you may be.
In the meantime, I will be your friend if you like?
If you can, stay away from the bad friends. Go to AA meetings and soon you will meet new people.
I had relationship problems too. I blamed her for all of them. After I sobered up I realized I was as much at fault. If you do this you may also. If this is so you cn try to fix any issues you discover and maybe be able to start over? I was not but you may be.
In the meantime, I will be your friend if you like?
Originally Posted by bymyself
I feel as if I lost my spirit, the real Theresa (Me). I want to be me again.
Take Care.
Theresa
Take Care.
Theresa
Hi and welcome! I think a lot of us had that problem of having no friends/life when we first started getting sober. I don't have any friends--the non-drinking ones all moved away and I was a lonely, home drinker. But since I've come to AA, I've been hungry for people. I talk their ears off and I met a few new friends in the process. The worst thing you can do in recovery is to isolate yourself. Have you tried AA meetings? Trust me, everyone there will completely understand where you are coming from!
Hi bymyself,
I would just have to echo what a lot of people have already said. I also almost completely isolated myself while drinking. I had one or two friends in my litlle isolated world. I am now getting to know people and can say that at least one (my sponsor) is already a friend (just 37 days sober). I used to have many friends before this disease took hold completely. I have faith that I will make many more friends in the program as time goes on. I know this because the first time I was in the program, I made many friends and had a full social life with people in the program. It will happen again as long as I stay sober. Many of us who thought we were loners, suddenly find out we are really social animals in sobriety. Post here and go to AA and you will attract many friends.
I would just have to echo what a lot of people have already said. I also almost completely isolated myself while drinking. I had one or two friends in my litlle isolated world. I am now getting to know people and can say that at least one (my sponsor) is already a friend (just 37 days sober). I used to have many friends before this disease took hold completely. I have faith that I will make many more friends in the program as time goes on. I know this because the first time I was in the program, I made many friends and had a full social life with people in the program. It will happen again as long as I stay sober. Many of us who thought we were loners, suddenly find out we are really social animals in sobriety. Post here and go to AA and you will attract many friends.
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