1_day@_a_time

Do you have to relapse to recover?

Little Missy

I don't think it's a requirement!!

2dayzmuse

Not a requirement, but definitely a motivator. When wallowing in the depths of hell, it's time to start searching for a way out.

Jupiter2

I don't think it is a requirement, but I have not yet heard of a single person in meetings that has not had a relapse at some time. True, I am new, and I will probably meet someone who has maintained long term sobriety with no relapses, but haven't seen it yet. I myself had a doozy of one lasting about 15 years from my year and a half in the program in the late 80's to coming back about two weeks ago. I was scared to death that I would be looked down on as a "retread", but this could not be further from the reality. Everyone is understanding and everyone I have spoken to in meetings has first hand experience with at least one relapse.

Dan

Nope.
Two entirely different things.
Relapse does not make recovery impossible, nor does it, in my opinion, take away any knowledge gained about one's self prior to it.

Chy

I'd have to say no otherwise I'd not be considered in recovery. But do we ever recover? Get clean and sober yes, recovery is a life long process in my opinion.

2dayzmuse

Yes, in reading the definitons, relapse and recovery are two different things. I agree that relapse doesn't make recovery impossible. Never give up the fight. I never lost any knowledge gained by relapsing. Even though I hadn't attained much and never worked very hard at sobriety. What little knowledge I had remained mine. In a sense, relapse has been a learning tool for me. Im certainly not recommending it to anyone. I have learned the hard way in closing my eyes to the fact "I can't drink". Relapse lessened the gap between me and recovery. It made me want sobriety all the more. I've learned that I never want to relapse again. My hat goes off to those that can get it right the first time around. I admire that in someone. I also admire those that pick themselves up and get right back in the game. Going back out was very painful for me and my loved ones. I now know, it doesn't have to be that way. It never did.

Patsyd1

Nope, recovery is a process, and relapsing most certainly does not have to be part of it.

When someone relapses, I suggest to them to let go all of what they "think" they know about themselves and begin at the beginning, because what they "think" they know about themselves, hasn't helped them to stay sober.


Just my thoughts

jlo34

Relapsing is not necessarily a part of recovery. Some people do GET it the first time. Relapsing also seems to get the reputation of being another household word, it should be respected for what it represents. Once one chooses to relapse there are absolutely NO guarantees that you will ever find recovery again. It can be a great tool in humbling, shame, remorse, and what not to do, but should never be taken lightly. Once finding the path of recovery, choosing to relapse can be a very serious, life-threatening situation and many people seem to talk about it or dismiss it as something normal, like changing your underwear everyday. Sometimes IT is necessary - because one is not convinced of being an alcoholic or hasn't had it "bad enough" yet. Still, with every relapse there is a grave chance that the person may not have the opportunity to recover again. Relapse is NOT something to take lightly. And yes, I relapsed many times in my first year attempt of getting sober.

Val-light

Is this yet another reason to use?

Jerry K

Let's see, I have been sober 446 days, never relasped and active in my recovery program. I no longer desire to drink and enjoy life.

I surely did not have to relaspe to get where I am at today. As long as I stay active in my recovery program, I will continue to recover without any relaspe. "Proof is in the pudding!"

CAPTAINZING2000

MY FAVORITE RESPONSE IS, " RELAPSE CAN BE A USEFUL TOOL IN RECOVERY, IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE YOURS THOUGH". Watch when someone comes back in the doors of AA after going back out. Life is a learning experience. That is how we learn from otheres failures.

I've gotten as much if not more from the people that have relapsed or, never made it back then the ones that stay. To steal a line from an old song, "I haven't got time for the pain".

The no. 1 thing everyone needs to do coming in is get the 1st step down. That's the step that's done 100%, the rest have to be worked on. If, you can come to grips with step 1 you don't have to go back out there and test the waters

TracyAgain

My mom never relapsed. They had tried to quit drinking on their own, but once she attended her first AA meeting, 20 years ago or so, that was it. She stopped attending AA about five years ago.

My dad never did either, that I know of. He went to AA long enough to get his 90 day chip and never went again. But as far as I know, he never drank again either.

Jhana

sooo...there are as many stories as there are people out there. Had you asked me when I had 13 years "would you ever pick up a drink again?" I would have said with complete conviction, "absolutely not!!!!"

then...I didn't pick one up! -I was handed one (a glass of champagne) when I walked in the door of a friend's house with the joyous announcement: "Great! You are just in time for the toast!" Without a thought I had a sip. It has taken me a long time (and a lot more drinking) to get over the notion that there went 13 years.

Someone said the other day: "The wreakage of the past is past; just don't create the wreakage of the future." Makes mucho sense to me.

In my long experience with AA (29 years) there are many who have not picked up a drink-yet. And I know (I think) for sure that there are a few (now deceased) who came in and never picked up a drink again. But I also know of one (now also deceased) who had one drink (that I know of) but never said that in AA and maintained that he had 31 years of continuous sobriety. (To admit that drink would have been to take 15 years off that number.)

Is it necessary to have a relapse? Certainly not! How I WISH I had not had that champagne and just marched along, but I didn't, so that is my story (so far) and I am alive to try again. Many who "relapse" die. I hope not to risk that fate again.

Gianna

hopeful2day

Like Gianna, I also relapsed after 13 years. It took 2 years of pain to find my way back. It is hard to come back after that long. I wish I had believed addiction was a lifelong disease. I said the words, but I never really believed it. All it took was a few years of complacency and boom--I was getting loaded again. New drug, but same result.

No, relapse is definitely not a requirement. I believe with all my heart and soul that if I had continued to work the program like I did in the early years of my sobriety, and continued to work with the new folks, I would never have relapsed.

So, if you can, learn from my experience and the experience of others. It's not B.S. folks--addiction is a progressive, incurable condition that responds nicely to working the steps. It can be held in check, but it does not go away. I wish it were otherwise.

1_day@_a_time

Gianna, Thank you, great post! I have learned so much from YOU, and everyone else.....thnx!

T

nutz

I relaped after 11 years. (2 weeks)
I said many times over and over that I would never do it..so there you go.
I work a good program...if I was working it.lol

I don't belive it's a requirement. We're free to do whatever.
hell or high water....I freanken almost drown and my Arss was on fire.
I could have easily humble myself and plug myself back into the
program. All the crap I was running from I had to face anyways.

By the grace of god, I'm still alive.
It took me sometimes to addmitted to my home group.
I didn't want people to think just becuase I made it back alive
that it should become a rule. But hey...it's my ass on the line.
However, my relaped reinforce my recovery.
I know, I ain't cured that's for damn sure.
I'm more humble becuase of it.
I listen more
I pray more
I write more
I give more
I'm more honest, open and willing beucase of it.
It got me back to working my steps or program.
I'm forcing myself to dig deeper and look at the can of worns closer.
These times are often the period of our greatest growth ( NA booklet)

Thank god there was someone that went before me to help
and encourage me to continue in my recovery. And more
people to help me keep moving forward.

SR was my link back
I'm forever greatful
Thanks everybody, for taking the time and effort to help me.
Thanks for saving my life.