i almost dident make it today
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: lexington ky
Posts: 20
i almost dident make it today
i like being sober but i had a hard time today.now that im home i think everthins gonna be ok for the rest of today.my daughter and i are going to play viedo games and eat fudge rounds,god fudge rounds a great when the urge hits to drink.man i bet i have eaten 2 boxes this week. thanks to everyone that has supported me since logged on.i know that im gonna need local support like an AA sponser.so in the morning i will call one from the list just to talk.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Minneapolis MN
Posts: 404
Good Job Dranklikeafish
Good job today. I am actually going to a meeting tonight - very apprehensive, but NOMO BEER convinced me to give it a whirl. Plus I feel like it will make me feel like I am doing something to stay sober. Take care.
Agnostic with faith
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Lisbon, Portugal
Posts: 94
You bet it's hard. It's been hard for me too today when I found myself buying beers and, worst of all, drinking one of them. I sincerely don't know what got into me, all I know is that I broke the other bottles as hard as I could on the ground, turned my back feeling relieved and with absolutely no regrets at all.
I guess that 3 years beeing an alcoholic, suffering as an alcoholic, a divorce, seeing two psychologists, gave me some ammunition to fight back this urge. I almost fell as I did so many times before. But I didn't. I have a life to live, we all have. It's probably the most powerful weapon against these "demons". Think about that. I know I will.
P.S.: there's nothing like the sound of full bottle of beer shattering on the ground.
I guess that 3 years beeing an alcoholic, suffering as an alcoholic, a divorce, seeing two psychologists, gave me some ammunition to fight back this urge. I almost fell as I did so many times before. But I didn't. I have a life to live, we all have. It's probably the most powerful weapon against these "demons". Think about that. I know I will.
P.S.: there's nothing like the sound of full bottle of beer shattering on the ground.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 77
I used to hate the sound of beer breaking. Now I guess I still would cause I would have to clean it up. Good for you Blitz!
Chocolates do seem to help. I just got a box of Sees chocolate. You know alcohol gets metabolized straight into sugar so maybe there is something behind the idea of a sugar fix?
Chocolates do seem to help. I just got a box of Sees chocolate. You know alcohol gets metabolized straight into sugar so maybe there is something behind the idea of a sugar fix?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: ontario
Posts: 83
Good for you you broke those bottles.
I drank last tonight ...should have broken it.
Tonight water bottles litter my kitchen counter and I baked a chocolate cake! Yummy and light as air....
New beginnings tomorrow after clearing cobwebs literally and figuratively today.
greenmeadow
I drank last tonight ...should have broken it.
Tonight water bottles litter my kitchen counter and I baked a chocolate cake! Yummy and light as air....
New beginnings tomorrow after clearing cobwebs literally and figuratively today.
greenmeadow
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Portland, Oregon
Posts: 74
dranklikeafish
I almost didn't make it today TOO!!! 15 dayZ without beer....amazin'...I went to my 3rd meeting tonight...it helped...God knows I NEED HELP!!! So tell me?...whatz a fudge round???? take care...luna
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: ontario
Posts: 83
fudge round? little round fudgies? I dunno.... 
but sounds yummy..
I should read what I type before I hit send lol... i did not drink last night... it was the night before ha ha... so am on day 2 today... yay
wasn't going out today as some snow but ran out of coffee lol so either I will drink tea or more water (but those bottles have almost disappeared) or go get the coffee... good thing our grocery stores don't sell booze
well some do but I don't have to go there right?
greenmeadow
but sounds yummy..I should read what I type before I hit send lol... i did not drink last night... it was the night before ha ha... so am on day 2 today... yay
wasn't going out today as some snow but ran out of coffee lol so either I will drink tea or more water (but those bottles have almost disappeared) or go get the coffee... good thing our grocery stores don't sell booze
well some do but I don't have to go there right?greenmeadow
Miss Behavin'
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: regina,saskatchewan
Posts: 966
Right on to hear you's are working so hard on your sobriety!!!!! They say to never say never but heres one that i think escapes.....NEVER forget that you are worth saving!!!When I sit and think about those out there still lost in active addiction, my heart really hurts, especially for those who have never heard of AA or don't have any idea whatsoever that there is a different way to live.....Be very proud of yourself for every day that goes by that you don't use, I am. Even if its a minute or an hour.
Greenmeadow don't beat yourself up its a new day, actually we can start our day over at any time, and yes staying away from slippery people, places and things has kept me going for sure. Keep on keepin' on \\// peace Oh I would just like to say something about the sweets.....I can totally relate to craving them but i read somewhere that refined [white] sugar white flour [its bleached] and caffeine will keep us craving alcohol and drugs!!!!! DAmn......and believe it or not i totally cut down on these things and it really did make a difference! I could say I guess that I'm addicted to everything!!! So lately I've been eating more chocolate......guess where thats been taking me, thinking about drinking. Anyway just thought I'd share that, something to try if your willing, Me....going to any length to stay sober...Have a good day!
Greenmeadow don't beat yourself up its a new day, actually we can start our day over at any time, and yes staying away from slippery people, places and things has kept me going for sure. Keep on keepin' on \\// peace Oh I would just like to say something about the sweets.....I can totally relate to craving them but i read somewhere that refined [white] sugar white flour [its bleached] and caffeine will keep us craving alcohol and drugs!!!!! DAmn......and believe it or not i totally cut down on these things and it really did make a difference! I could say I guess that I'm addicted to everything!!! So lately I've been eating more chocolate......guess where thats been taking me, thinking about drinking. Anyway just thought I'd share that, something to try if your willing, Me....going to any length to stay sober...Have a good day!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: ontario
Posts: 83
Hi wantneeda,
interesting the bit about sweets and a desire for alcohol?
for most of my life I haven't eaten much in the way of desserts or sweets, in fact rarely buy and almost never make any unless company comes lol...
but i have found that lately in trying not to drink I am craving food and/or sweets... had that last piece of cake as lunch today ha ha thinking what am I doing? so grabbed a mystery novel off a shelf and read it the whole afternoon....
I did think oh wouldn't it be nice to have a glass of wine? ha ha...
many years ago I read something about a diet i think that said that the results were different with alcoholics but I can't recall what it was all about. I figure the sugars in alcohol.....
still sober here and eating a healthy home soup lol.... hope I don't start rummaging in the cupboards for a sweet 'cause I know there can't be any in there lol.... not even one itty bitty chocolate....
never did go to the store for coffee so it's green tea tomorrow
greenmeadow
interesting the bit about sweets and a desire for alcohol?
for most of my life I haven't eaten much in the way of desserts or sweets, in fact rarely buy and almost never make any unless company comes lol...
but i have found that lately in trying not to drink I am craving food and/or sweets... had that last piece of cake as lunch today ha ha thinking what am I doing? so grabbed a mystery novel off a shelf and read it the whole afternoon....
I did think oh wouldn't it be nice to have a glass of wine? ha ha...
many years ago I read something about a diet i think that said that the results were different with alcoholics but I can't recall what it was all about. I figure the sugars in alcohol.....
still sober here and eating a healthy home soup lol.... hope I don't start rummaging in the cupboards for a sweet 'cause I know there can't be any in there lol.... not even one itty bitty chocolate....
never did go to the store for coffee so it's green tea tomorrow
greenmeadow
Miss Behavin'
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: regina,saskatchewan
Posts: 966
so after telling you that i started thinking about my own habits of late........a little more coffee than usual, chocolate hearts, to celebrate valentines day, of course.....and to boot a friend of mine from the program has started coming by my place. He has relapsed badly and I'm letting him in my home? Thats way too close for comfort! Slippery people, places and things. So i'm giving the rest of the hearts in my daughters lunch today and i did some extra reading last night. Warning signs of a relapse, oh, just the thought of it is scaring me!!!! I made a cake last night too!!!!
Let me know if eating healthier makes a difference for you! Glad to help. \\//peace
Let me know if eating healthier makes a difference for you! Glad to help. \\//peace
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: lexington ky
Posts: 20
today is day 5 or 6 im not sure.my wife and youngest daughter just got back in town.i am still holding out 1 day at a time,for a while last night it was 1 hr at a time cause i got a little stressd but i made it. thaks for the support. its a new day and im not gonna use today
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: ontario
Posts: 83
Hi Wantneeda,
Oh that does sound slippery..... I have this neighbour who is an alkie? he's now in recovery. but i used to see him so blotto he'd be in close to a coma barely breathing at his place. It terrified me, I'd go get another neighbour and say what do we do, call an ambulance? etc.... he's been rescued so often.....I found it easier not to drop in to say hi or see how he was doing after a while... eventually he hit a bottom and is sober for now (i say for now as he has a record of big time relapses but I sincerely wish him the best as he's got a lot to offer the world and his kids.....) he suffered big time with depression and I did the "talk" not long before he stopped drinking...... that was quite a while ago but it had to come to him wanting to get sober...
So here I am today, on my new day 3 and wanting to go to get some wine myself. I have a sibling who is very difficult who I try to avoid now but it's not always possible. But I always get so many emotions rising up and I am not ready to have one of those step situations talks. This sibling has great difficulty seeing anybody elses's point of view on anything so it's like taking to a brick wall that thows stones at me .....
yes I find eating healthy is very good for me which of course makes my wine consumption pretty strange...I have sugar in the house only for others in coffee etc. I might buy a bag once every few yrs and throw the old one out as it's well "old"..desserts are fruit and yogurt with honey, that's about it. Now I do like the taste of chocolate and I do like some desserts but I rarely have them. But then I don't eat any processed stuff because all the additives affect me.....
I need strength today. I thought I would wake up all bubbly but I am depressed and mopey, even more than yesterday. And a lot of chatter is going in my head....... things I don't want to think about. right now....
So I am going to give myself a pedicure, shower, dress, and go do some errands.
I read step 4 and 5 on here and it is all mind boggling really, not anywhere near doing them.
I think maybe the difference for me right now is that before even when I was hitting 43 days no wine and more it was with the thought that hey I stop now and then drink normally later. But now I am thinking no not ever. But it sure helps dull emotional pain never mind physical pain.
I think no no no.... I will not go get any wine...I will not let myself fall into feeling miserable because of a sibling and try to drown it with booze. I will tell myself I am stronger than that. I will not surrender to the demon.
It's a tough hour right now....
greeenmeadow
Oh that does sound slippery..... I have this neighbour who is an alkie? he's now in recovery. but i used to see him so blotto he'd be in close to a coma barely breathing at his place. It terrified me, I'd go get another neighbour and say what do we do, call an ambulance? etc.... he's been rescued so often.....I found it easier not to drop in to say hi or see how he was doing after a while... eventually he hit a bottom and is sober for now (i say for now as he has a record of big time relapses but I sincerely wish him the best as he's got a lot to offer the world and his kids.....) he suffered big time with depression and I did the "talk" not long before he stopped drinking...... that was quite a while ago but it had to come to him wanting to get sober...
So here I am today, on my new day 3 and wanting to go to get some wine myself. I have a sibling who is very difficult who I try to avoid now but it's not always possible. But I always get so many emotions rising up and I am not ready to have one of those step situations talks. This sibling has great difficulty seeing anybody elses's point of view on anything so it's like taking to a brick wall that thows stones at me .....
yes I find eating healthy is very good for me which of course makes my wine consumption pretty strange...I have sugar in the house only for others in coffee etc. I might buy a bag once every few yrs and throw the old one out as it's well "old"..desserts are fruit and yogurt with honey, that's about it. Now I do like the taste of chocolate and I do like some desserts but I rarely have them. But then I don't eat any processed stuff because all the additives affect me.....
I need strength today. I thought I would wake up all bubbly but I am depressed and mopey, even more than yesterday. And a lot of chatter is going in my head....... things I don't want to think about. right now....
So I am going to give myself a pedicure, shower, dress, and go do some errands.
I read step 4 and 5 on here and it is all mind boggling really, not anywhere near doing them.
I think maybe the difference for me right now is that before even when I was hitting 43 days no wine and more it was with the thought that hey I stop now and then drink normally later. But now I am thinking no not ever. But it sure helps dull emotional pain never mind physical pain.
I think no no no.... I will not go get any wine...I will not let myself fall into feeling miserable because of a sibling and try to drown it with booze. I will tell myself I am stronger than that. I will not surrender to the demon.
It's a tough hour right now....
greeenmeadow
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
A normal person will never have a clue why and how we can forgo everything once the 1st drink goes down. it's the fastest path to my own personal hell i've found. the thoughts of being drunk still are fresh in my mind even after years of being sober.
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