Jaz - I have help!!!
still moment by moment
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: on my way back to me
Posts: 83
Jaz - I have help!!!
Jaz. I am the mother to 3 little people and have an awesome husband. I started with codeine years ago and progressed to norco. I have been eating pills for years. I still haven't admitted to myself how many years. I tried to stop before, I tried to taper, I tried to subsitute ultram, etc. W/D sucks bad bad bad. And my husband, even with the best intentions could not have left me alone or kept the kids away from me for 4 days to w/d. Besides, did I want my kids to see that?
I FINALLY told my regular doctor about my problem as I have been buying them off the internet for two years. She was very matter of fact and sent me to a specialist - a doctor that specializes in addiction medicine.
I took suboxone on Monday morning and went to work that day. I haven't missed work AND I actually folded laundry last night.
I personally am trying to accept that I don't get to take norcos anymore, (I haven't flushed my stash yet) but I am giving it a whirl. I really may do this. I feel better and better each day. I am dealing with the whole addiction thing and I'm sad, etc. etc. BUT, this is day #4. That is a long time in my world.
I have a LONG way to go I think considering how much money I blew and some crazy stuff that I did. BUT I will tell you that you do NOT have to live in fear of w/d and there is real help out there. W/D is torture. I mean TORTURE. One big reason I went on as long as I did.
I really really really encourage you to find a specialist, a doctor that prescribes suboxone, it will get you off norco in two days with almost no badness.
The MUCH harder part I am finding out ... is staying off.
But I am coming out of my fog and it is surreal. I feel like I am watching someone else live my life. But it seems that every day improves about 100%. So, given that, I am very hopeful and looking forward to having some money for new clothes (instead of pills.) And I am looking forward to reintroducing my children to their real mother. I used to be pretty cool. I am also just starting to barely see that I may actually feel a lot better than I did when I was eating 15 norcos a day. It is SHOCKING to me.
erin
I FINALLY told my regular doctor about my problem as I have been buying them off the internet for two years. She was very matter of fact and sent me to a specialist - a doctor that specializes in addiction medicine.
I took suboxone on Monday morning and went to work that day. I haven't missed work AND I actually folded laundry last night.
I personally am trying to accept that I don't get to take norcos anymore, (I haven't flushed my stash yet) but I am giving it a whirl. I really may do this. I feel better and better each day. I am dealing with the whole addiction thing and I'm sad, etc. etc. BUT, this is day #4. That is a long time in my world.
I have a LONG way to go I think considering how much money I blew and some crazy stuff that I did. BUT I will tell you that you do NOT have to live in fear of w/d and there is real help out there. W/D is torture. I mean TORTURE. One big reason I went on as long as I did.
I really really really encourage you to find a specialist, a doctor that prescribes suboxone, it will get you off norco in two days with almost no badness.
The MUCH harder part I am finding out ... is staying off.
But I am coming out of my fog and it is surreal. I feel like I am watching someone else live my life. But it seems that every day improves about 100%. So, given that, I am very hopeful and looking forward to having some money for new clothes (instead of pills.) And I am looking forward to reintroducing my children to their real mother. I used to be pretty cool. I am also just starting to barely see that I may actually feel a lot better than I did when I was eating 15 norcos a day. It is SHOCKING to me.
erin
Learning to love me.
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: on my way
Posts: 617
Erin, congratulations. You are doing awesome. My advice to you is to flush that stash. You DON'T need them and why keep the temptation around. You will only get yourself in trouble.
You are really amazing. I am 3 days clean of Vicodin, and on a suboxone maintance program myself.
You are really amazing. I am 3 days clean of Vicodin, and on a suboxone maintance program myself.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: knoxville Tn
Posts: 5
Dear Erin
Thanks so much for your post. Part of the reason I am still on Norco is the fear of withdrawal and unfortunately the other part is the still craving it. I am very close to my GP doctor and do not want her to know of my addiction so how would I find an addiction specialist? Also what is suboxone and how does it help with the wihdrawals. This sounds to good to be true. I am so proud of you I would love to say I am four days clean. I agree with Roxanne flush that stash it is to tempting to have around you are over the rough spot so throw them out. Think about everything they took from you. Say a prayer for me to find the way for me to quit. Hugs to you all.
Jaz
Thanks so much for your post. Part of the reason I am still on Norco is the fear of withdrawal and unfortunately the other part is the still craving it. I am very close to my GP doctor and do not want her to know of my addiction so how would I find an addiction specialist? Also what is suboxone and how does it help with the wihdrawals. This sounds to good to be true. I am so proud of you I would love to say I am four days clean. I agree with Roxanne flush that stash it is to tempting to have around you are over the rough spot so throw them out. Think about everything they took from you. Say a prayer for me to find the way for me to quit. Hugs to you all.
Jaz
still moment by moment
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: on my way back to me
Posts: 83
I told my regular doctor and she was very matter of fact, not the least bit surprised or judging or anything. I really like my OB and never wanted to tell him, so I found an internist. I honestly think you would be amazed at how your doctor will react. I promise you are not the first person they have seen.
They see it ALL the time. And mine gave me a name of who to see so I made an appointment. I just went and when I saw addiction medicine on his door i was like. OK. I thought I was going to see a physciatrist.
Anyway. Suboxone is the answer. I could never stop because the W/D was soo soooooooo sooooooooooooooo bad, I had to eat them again. I couldn't just "check out" for a week. I have three little kids and a job, etc.
So, suboxone is a drug that is used to treat opiate addiction. It is amazing. My first day on it I felt bad and odd, but NOTHING like real w/d. Today is Friday, I started on Monday. I feel NORMAL. NOT high. But I am awake in the morning and tired at night. I get about 100% better each day. I have a LONG way to go because I miss my little yellow friends. But I can make it without them.
My addiction doctor looked me straight in the eye and said. "you don't have to take these anymore. You don't have to." I started crying of course.
But he's right. I don't have to. And I'm not. I still want to. But I don't have to like I did just to live.
So, TELL your Doctor. Or make an appointment with a new doctor. Call your insurance company. You need to find a medical doctor that practices this kind of medicine. Call the hospital in your area, they have someone on staff! Surf the net. I don't know. But it is the answer to 5 days anyway.
Now I can deal with whether or not I WANT to take them. I do, I don't, I do, I don't, etc. etc etc. I haven't decided for sure. But I don't HAVE to. That is just the first step.
And I can keep my stash on hand because I won't get high if I take one because the sub has an opiate blocker - my little insurance that I won't blow it.
I looked at my stash last night. They look so different to me than they did a week ago. But I haven't thrown them out. I will. Eventually. I think. But that isn't the point right now.
I think before you can figure out IF you want to live without them, you have to find out that YOU CAN live without them. You do NOT HAVE to eat them anymore. I wouldn't quit until you found a sub doctor. But find one.
In fact, tell me where you live, and I'll find you one. PM me. I can do that - because I can think clearly now!!!!!!!!
Erin
They see it ALL the time. And mine gave me a name of who to see so I made an appointment. I just went and when I saw addiction medicine on his door i was like. OK. I thought I was going to see a physciatrist.
Anyway. Suboxone is the answer. I could never stop because the W/D was soo soooooooo sooooooooooooooo bad, I had to eat them again. I couldn't just "check out" for a week. I have three little kids and a job, etc.
So, suboxone is a drug that is used to treat opiate addiction. It is amazing. My first day on it I felt bad and odd, but NOTHING like real w/d. Today is Friday, I started on Monday. I feel NORMAL. NOT high. But I am awake in the morning and tired at night. I get about 100% better each day. I have a LONG way to go because I miss my little yellow friends. But I can make it without them.
My addiction doctor looked me straight in the eye and said. "you don't have to take these anymore. You don't have to." I started crying of course.
But he's right. I don't have to. And I'm not. I still want to. But I don't have to like I did just to live.
So, TELL your Doctor. Or make an appointment with a new doctor. Call your insurance company. You need to find a medical doctor that practices this kind of medicine. Call the hospital in your area, they have someone on staff! Surf the net. I don't know. But it is the answer to 5 days anyway.
Now I can deal with whether or not I WANT to take them. I do, I don't, I do, I don't, etc. etc etc. I haven't decided for sure. But I don't HAVE to. That is just the first step.
And I can keep my stash on hand because I won't get high if I take one because the sub has an opiate blocker - my little insurance that I won't blow it.
I looked at my stash last night. They look so different to me than they did a week ago. But I haven't thrown them out. I will. Eventually. I think. But that isn't the point right now.
I think before you can figure out IF you want to live without them, you have to find out that YOU CAN live without them. You do NOT HAVE to eat them anymore. I wouldn't quit until you found a sub doctor. But find one.
In fact, tell me where you live, and I'll find you one. PM me. I can do that - because I can think clearly now!!!!!!!!
Erin
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: knoxville Tn
Posts: 5
Dear Erin,
Thanks so much for the information. I live in Knoxville, TN. and I was able to look up a doctor on the internet in my area. I will have to check and see if he is on my ins. plan. I only take the norco at night 4 10mg tablets so I feel tired during the day anyway. What I am really worried about is the depression does the suboxone help with that? I am so glad you have been able to stop using. I hope I can look at those little yellow pills one day and not feel tempted. Have you had any side effects from the suboxone? Take care and keep up the good work!Congrats!
Jaz
Thanks so much for the information. I live in Knoxville, TN. and I was able to look up a doctor on the internet in my area. I will have to check and see if he is on my ins. plan. I only take the norco at night 4 10mg tablets so I feel tired during the day anyway. What I am really worried about is the depression does the suboxone help with that? I am so glad you have been able to stop using. I hope I can look at those little yellow pills one day and not feel tempted. Have you had any side effects from the suboxone? Take care and keep up the good work!Congrats!
Jaz
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