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-   -   today is 90 days but not sure about tomorrow (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/50193-today-90-days-but-not-sure-about-tomorrow.html)

na4today 02-02-2005 03:11 PM

today is 90 days but not sure about tomorrow
 
Today is 90 days for me and I was so happy when I woke up this morning. Now I am looking for a reason to make tomorrow 91 days. My teacher knows I'm an addict and she has always been very supportive of me during my treatment and everything else. She is a wonderful woman and I am very grateful for her support. Today I felt like she was finally tired of this addict. She blew me off every chance she got. I think the final blow that sent me into a rage was over a test I was going to take on the computer. It wasn't there and in the process of her trying to find it, another student walked up to her desk and got right in front of me and started talking and the teacher just went on her way with him and left me standing there like an ass. So I stood there and when she came back and saw me still there, she was like oh I forgot about you. Yeah right. I'm not believing that. So in my anger, I left. I don't know what to do. Is it just me being sensitive or is she trying to give me a hint? I know that I should not use over anything but I am not enjoying life on its own terms right now. Someone tell me something.....

Time2Surrender 02-02-2005 03:26 PM

Congrats on 90 days.Dealing with life on lifes terms is hard,I know.Hang in there.You are doing very well.Tommorow is another day.

Evanna 02-02-2005 03:30 PM

90 days is brilliant! A huge well done. :grinattk:

I dont know if you are being over-sensitive or not and who knows what was going on for your teacher unless you ask her. She could have just been having a bad day; she's human.

But i do know a couple of things. I know that my feelings were blown right out of scale at 3 mths clean. I had no clue how to resolve issues in any satisfactory way. (i still find that to some extent but that is another story). The final thing that i know is that my addiction is a cunning thing which tries to manipulate me into using anyway it can. A sense of injustice and anger at the world at large is my addictions favourite way in. Often i really need to take stock of the positives in these moments.

It can feel really overwhelming at times. I know it is hard in those moments to hold on to the good things but i have read some of your post on this board and have seen how you encourage other people. I am guessing from this that the reasons to stick with it must be inside you, they can just get a little lost when things feel bleak.

Warmest wishes
Evanna.

hopealwayz 02-02-2005 06:05 PM

I know you must feel hurt. Maybe she was having a bad day and took it out in the wrong ways. If she has been supporting you in the past, she will still be there to support you now. Tomorrow is a new day with new possibilities. Don't give up what you have achieved. You are a light on these boards and I love to read your posts.

Love,
Hope

In memory of miracle 02-02-2005 06:12 PM

I just want to say congradulation's on your 90 day's that is something!! You have gotten some good feedback from people.Don't let your disease run your brain around and spoil your day.90 day's clean is a big accomplishment ! Bless,Trish

na4today 02-03-2005 12:46 PM

Thanks for all the good thoughts everyone. I think I might be a little moody and take things personally. Today was not much better but I am clean!! That is what is important. Maybe I will talk with my teacher and explain my feelings. I guess I should cut her a little slack since she has no experience with addiction or drugs.

In memory of miracle 02-03-2005 12:58 PM

Bueno ! xx

dave 02-03-2005 03:48 PM

All Right.keep the good work up.24hrs at a time.........

ted 02-03-2005 04:29 PM

CONGRADULATIONS ON YOUR 3 MONTHS THAT'S BIGTIME!!! :)
...............ted

lost puppy 02-03-2005 05:27 PM

AWSOME!!!
three months seems so far away.
True role model!.
Keep it up, one day at a time.

Val-light 02-04-2005 12:35 PM

Hello na4today,
You're doing great! It's true that many don't understand who haven't been in your shoes. Best wishes.
Val


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