BOOZER

I've posted before.
I can't get over this pain and the pain I borught someone. I just want to be dead but I don't want to bring any pain like this to my family. I've reached the point that I feel it is selfish for them to ask me to continue to deal with this. I don't want to be alive but I don't want to kill myself. I have never hurt like this before.
If there is a mediator, don't send police because i have a big German Shepard. They will shoot him if they come in here. He is the only thing I enjoy and if he is killed I will have nothing.

boop64132

Boozer,
Im so sorry you feel so much pain.Im sending prayers to you my friend.No police!
Have you tried meetings?
We have all felt this way at one time or another,so dont feel alone.
The guilt is enough sometimes to drive us all insane.Just know that you are welcome here and we understand!!

I take it that you are a drinker.So was I,for many many years.I also didnt want to cause my family any more pain.But I came here and things changed when I got everything out in the open.

Please take a break,and a deep breath and let's talk about it.

BOOZER

So let's talk please

boop64132

Come into the chat room...I am there.

BOOZER

I've spent the last week, shaking, throwing up, crying or being mean to people I love. Each day I think it will be better. It never is.

BOOZER

I don't know how to come into a chat room

boop64132

Do you want to stop drinking?

Oh...go to the top of this board or any and click on chat.I think you have to register but it doesnt take long.

boop64132

Well,we are all here to help you.
I have done the same myself.But there is so much more for you,and being here is the best way to start!

Phinneas

Boozer-- click the chat link above and if you haven't already done so, register. Boop and I are in there now.

Hang in there, my friend. You are not alone.

jojo

BOOZER

I've registered? Now what do I do?

Morning Glory

The registration will take a little while to go through.

Boozer,
What are you doing for support? We can't go through things like this alone. There are many options other than suicide. I've been through horrible pain too and if you just keep going 24 hours at a time this will pass.

There are things you can do. There is counseling, 12 step groups, medication for depression, crisis hot lines, church or other spiritual support.

You can work through the guilt of causing others pain. You can learn to let go of the past. The pain you are feeling will get better. You don't need to cause your family more pain than they can handle by taking your own life when there are other options that can help you through this.

I know the pain you are speaking of and have felt it many times. I know that it passes. If it's too much for you to handle right now then please go to the hospital. Depression is not something we can just snap out of. Sometimes we need treatment.

I go for treatment of my depression and so do many others here.

Hugs,
MG

Morning Glory

Here is a link to help you search for detox or treatment in your area.

http://dasis3.samhsa.gov/PrxInput.aspx?STATE=California

CAPTAINZING2000

Boozer,

The pain you're going thru isn't a bad thing. Just don't give up. I felt like you did coming into AA. I'm happy everyday of my life now. People do care aout you. Get to a detox alcohol is a big depressant. You stay sober for a few days, you'll see, life is good. Read some of the posts in here check out some of the members. There are thousands of us in here with many years of sobriety. We all were where you are now. We know what you feel like.

We all had to admit we were powerless over this. None of the rest of us were able to continue either. We had to surrender. That dog would be very lonely w/o u my friend.
Post again, there's a lot of people willing to help you


chris

BOOZER

Thank you all and thanks for the chat room offer. The site went down so I could not get in.
It is funny how things have a way of working out. Last night it got to be too much and I tried to kill myself. I took 20 sleeping pills--geez what does it take? Before I did that I sent a e-mail to my mother explaining why and please come get my dog and take care of him. I knew that sending it at midnight she would not get it until the next morning and not interfere. Well I am still alive and she is putting me in rehab tonight. So I guess it all worked out. Now if I could just stop shaking.

CAPTAINZING2000

God Has Another Plan For You. You Might Be Hurting Now But, It's Just Temporary.

I Felt Like You Did When, I Finally Admitted I Needed Help. If, I Can Do This You Can Do. I Believe In You. Get In There Do Whqat They Say. Come Back Out Here And Let Us Know How You're Doing


P.s

Say Some Prayers, Ask For The God Of Your Understanding To Help You

boop64132

I prayed for you last night when the site went down.
I see God has answered my prayers once again.

God bless.I hope and pray that it all works out for you.
Please let us know when you get back.

Phinneas

I'm so grateful you are OK, Boozer. I prayed for you, too, my friend. Rehab is a good place to be right now. Godspeed.

jojo

Roxann

Thank God you are okay Boozer. You were and still are in my prayers. I hope you find the peace you seek while in rehab. Please, just remember we are all here for you.

whyamidoingthis

Hey Boozer, my input is to just keep on typing your thoughts. You will not die, your dog will not get killed and you can get better. This is coming from somebody who is deep in the throes of addiction and depression. I love dogs, but since I live in a condo am forced to have cats. I love them but today I was ready to off them. They did not do anything wrong, I was just jonesing very bad. They were in the way. Take care man, I know this sounds trite, but it really can get better. Let yourself be helped. ****, show me the way, I want help myself. Really, it has to get better, W

luluabel

(((BOOZER))) i can only echo what has already been said, my heart and prayers go out to you