hopealwayz

I really want to use right now and these thoughts are driving me crazy. They are haunting me and I wish they would go away. :yelling The most clean time I've had was 79 days and I really want to make it this time. I'll do it moment to moment right now. I'm gonna stick around here for a while to try to get my mind off of using and if anyone is around, please help me. Tomorrow will be 58 days if I make it through the night. Any suggestions on what to do to get my mind off of these thoughts? Maybe I need to stop and remember HALT. Today wasn't a good day but every day is different.

sherbear5104

Hang in there Hope. You can do it. Are you planning on going to a meeting tonight?

retribution

I'm here Hope, so is God, right there beside you... Take it moment by moment, Lets see if we cant find something to take your mind off of it...Sending Hugggggs to you, and praying for you to have strength...

na4today

do you go to na? I like to think about my next keytag and I don't want to do anything to start me over to that first one. Sending prayers your way. And try to stay busy

hopealwayz

I'm going to a meeting tonight. I'm trying to hold on until then. Keeping my mind busy.
I'm drawing on the strength of everyone here.

GettingFree

Reaching out to friends and getting out of the house were critical to me in the early days. I needed to disrupt the thinking and ruminating going on. I needed to change the setting and the context of habits. Even if I was just sitting in a coffee shop with a book or newspaper surrounded by humanity, it helped make me feel part of something and futher away from the draw to use. Taking my dog for a walk and getting close to a nature setting really helped. Going out to a movie I'd been meaning to see became a way to treat myself, take care of myself, feel content.

best,
gf

hopealwayz

I have not used, I went and bought pizza and a big pint of ice cream. I shouldn't be eating this much tonight but at least I'm sober.

skunkape

Hope I'm praying for you right now. I chose to pick up the other day and it wasn't worth it. Everything I had built up in my mind about getting high was all false. I hated every second of it. I never want to throw sobriety away again. You are doing great, I'm proud of you. I'm gonna take it one day at a time, one hour at a time right now, and pick myself up from this whole I dug. I have experienced growth and a hope I've never had before in my life with this program. I really believe that I'll never be able to go back out using with a good conscious after this experience.

Patience1

I am very happy for you, for not doing something that you'll probably regret later.My prayers will be with you as well. "YOU CAN DO IT!" BELIEVE IN YOURSELF." but don't give up!!!

GettingFree

Hurrah Hope!

You made a wise and loving choice for yourself. You took care of yourself. Congrats. Enjoy the ice cream!

best
gf

p.s. did I mention that sitting in that coffee shop included treating myself to a steaming grande latte -- or 2? lol

GettingFree

How are you doing today Hope?

gf

jessicajo

Are you doing ok Hope? I Hope you are!! Today I am almost 4 months clean and I rather be 4 months then 4 days again. That is what is keeping me clean. Think about where you were to where you are. Isn't this so much better?

quercusalba

Hey Hope - you there today? I pray that everything went alright for you last night, and into today. You have been there for me many times over the past few months... I want to be here for you, too. Hang in there, gut it out - and call on everyone you can think of for support. That's certainly what saved me yesterday.

I hope you're doing alright. Take good care,
--anne

Roxann

I hope today is better for you Hope. ((HUGS))

hopealwayz

Hello my wonderful friends! Today is so much brighter and better. I'm so glad I woke up with a clear mind rather than having it stuffed and spinning and wondering what the heck I did last night. It is rough because I am still suffering from depression symptoms due to using and my chemicals are still out of whack, but each day I know it will get better and I look forward to the day when I'll feel better than I do now. Some days are good, some are bad but everyday I make it through without picking up, I've been successful. I do have some more things to talk about later on and I'll just venture over to my thread "Journey of Hope" because I need to do a little soul-searching. I have to capture my moments, LOL.
THANKS FOR SUPPORTING ME LAST NIGHT!!! I'M VERY GRATEFUL FOR THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE HERE!!!

I'm watching Days of Our Lives now....does anyone else what the show?

Love,
Hope

na4today

I love Days of Our Lives!!! I want to jump into the tv and slap Sami.

exlibris

Like Sands Through The Hourglass...

I haven't watched that since college!

Is Bo still on?

What about Patch?

Seriously, Hope I'm glad you made it one more day.

((((Hope))))

Richard

In memory of miracle

(( Hope ))

Lilalkie

Great job Hope! Glad you made it!

I love Days too! I've sadly been watching it religiously for almost ten years. Patch isn't on anymore, but Bo and Hope are still there.
I really really really can't stand Kate. She's so evil. And if I hear Jan say, "Keep your mouth shut, Meems, or I will tell Rex you aborted Rex Junior behind his back," one more time, I'm gonna scream. I just wish Jan would freaking tell him already and get it over with. And Belle and Shawn are driving me nuts. But God, how I love that show!

hopealwayz

Yeah Jan drives me crazy. I miss Belle and Shawn being together. Philip annoys me for some reason. I wish they would change the storylines though. Too much of the same stuff happening these days.