Mistaken Beliefs About Relapse
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Mistaken Beliefs Part 11
Mistaken Beliefs About Relapse
A MISTAKEN BELIEF IS SOMETHING THAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE AND ACT AS IF IT WERE TRUE WHEN, IN FACT, IT IS FALSE.
Mistaken Belief #11: If you do not maintain sobriety, it is because you have not worked the recovery program made available to you in treatment because current treatment methods are 100% effective.
Fact: Much of the currently available treatment for chemical dependency has proved to be effective about 20 to 40% of the time. This means that it has not been effective 60 to 80% of the time. Patients cannot be blamed for that rate of failure.
This statement is not meant to be critical of treatment programs or AA/NA. Alcohol and drug addiction treatment is always improving. It is much more effective than it was fifty years ago. Then treatment using a “mental-health model” was 98% ineffective. Currently alcohol and drug addiction treatment is becoming much more effective treating alcoholism and drug addiction as a disease. But the fact is that many alcoholics and drug addicts fail to recover even after attempting sobriety by using AA/NA, professional treatment and counseling, or combinations thereof.
In our research we have talked with hundreds of alcoholics and addicts who have worked hard at AA/NA and treatment but still failed to stay sober. It is important that we remember that there are still some people who are sicker than others. These people experience severe and disabling symptoms when they attempt sobriety. They may have co-existing health problems or illness that leave them in a state of chronic pain. They may have serious mental or emotional problems that interfere with sobriety. They need something more than primary treatment (over and over again) to bring about long term sobriety.
The belief that treatment is 100% effective fosters a feeling of hopelessness and the belief that nothing can help you. This belief produces the “professional patient” who learns how to “go through the motions” of treatment because it is familiar. They often do not seek other forms of treatment or help.
If you have failed to stay sober with the treatment you have gotten so far, or through your involvement in AA/NA do not give up hope. Roll up your sleeves and try again. But, this time, find a treatment program or AA/NA sponsor that has knowledge of relapse prevention planning.
A MISTAKEN BELIEF IS SOMETHING THAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE AND ACT AS IF IT WERE TRUE WHEN, IN FACT, IT IS FALSE.
Mistaken Belief #11: If you do not maintain sobriety, it is because you have not worked the recovery program made available to you in treatment because current treatment methods are 100% effective.
Fact: Much of the currently available treatment for chemical dependency has proved to be effective about 20 to 40% of the time. This means that it has not been effective 60 to 80% of the time. Patients cannot be blamed for that rate of failure.
This statement is not meant to be critical of treatment programs or AA/NA. Alcohol and drug addiction treatment is always improving. It is much more effective than it was fifty years ago. Then treatment using a “mental-health model” was 98% ineffective. Currently alcohol and drug addiction treatment is becoming much more effective treating alcoholism and drug addiction as a disease. But the fact is that many alcoholics and drug addicts fail to recover even after attempting sobriety by using AA/NA, professional treatment and counseling, or combinations thereof.
In our research we have talked with hundreds of alcoholics and addicts who have worked hard at AA/NA and treatment but still failed to stay sober. It is important that we remember that there are still some people who are sicker than others. These people experience severe and disabling symptoms when they attempt sobriety. They may have co-existing health problems or illness that leave them in a state of chronic pain. They may have serious mental or emotional problems that interfere with sobriety. They need something more than primary treatment (over and over again) to bring about long term sobriety.
The belief that treatment is 100% effective fosters a feeling of hopelessness and the belief that nothing can help you. This belief produces the “professional patient” who learns how to “go through the motions” of treatment because it is familiar. They often do not seek other forms of treatment or help.
If you have failed to stay sober with the treatment you have gotten so far, or through your involvement in AA/NA do not give up hope. Roll up your sleeves and try again. But, this time, find a treatment program or AA/NA sponsor that has knowledge of relapse prevention planning.
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Mistaken Beliefs Part 12
Mistaken Beliefs About Relapse
A MISTAKEN BELIEF IS SOMETHING THAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE AND ACT AS IF IT WERE TRUE WHEN, IN FACT, IT IS FALSE.
Mistaken Belief #12: Those who relapse to use of alcohol or drugs over and over again are hopeless because they are "constitutionally incapable" of recovery.
Fact: Those who relapse to use of alcohol or drugs repeatedly are not incapable of recovery. They just have not learned how to prevent relapse. They can learn how to get better.
Sally, a relapse prone alcoholic/addict, talked of her progress; “I thought I was hopeless. I was detoxed over twenty times and completed three private and four public rehabilitation programs. I ended up in a halfway house nearly dead and totally demoralized and down on myself. I heard a lecture on the warning signs of relapse. It was like someone was telling my story. Those warning signs gave me the words for what was happening to me. I got interested and started to listen and learn. I went to work identifying my warning signs and setting up plans to manage them. It wasn’t easy but relapse prevention planning gave me concrete, solid things to work on. I stayed sober for eight months, longer than in years. When I drank again I was humiliated, but returned to the halfway house. They wouldn’t let me feel sorry for myself. They didn’t blame me. They just said ‘it’s a very powerful disease. Let’s get you stabilized and see what we can do differently this time.’ I’ve been sober now longer than ever before. I believe that I can get well.”
It is true that people cannot get well with the knowledge and skills that they have. They have not learned to interrupt old behavior patterns and do something different. They have not learned that relapse is a process that can be changed. They have not learned about sobriety-based symptoms and what to do to manage them. They have not learned to recognize when they are moving away from recovery and moving in the direction of relapse. They do not have hope that they can ever get well.
The consequence of believing that you cannot get well is despair. Without hope there is no motivation to try again and you are condemned to a life of despair.
A MISTAKEN BELIEF IS SOMETHING THAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE AND ACT AS IF IT WERE TRUE WHEN, IN FACT, IT IS FALSE.
Mistaken Belief #12: Those who relapse to use of alcohol or drugs over and over again are hopeless because they are "constitutionally incapable" of recovery.
Fact: Those who relapse to use of alcohol or drugs repeatedly are not incapable of recovery. They just have not learned how to prevent relapse. They can learn how to get better.
Sally, a relapse prone alcoholic/addict, talked of her progress; “I thought I was hopeless. I was detoxed over twenty times and completed three private and four public rehabilitation programs. I ended up in a halfway house nearly dead and totally demoralized and down on myself. I heard a lecture on the warning signs of relapse. It was like someone was telling my story. Those warning signs gave me the words for what was happening to me. I got interested and started to listen and learn. I went to work identifying my warning signs and setting up plans to manage them. It wasn’t easy but relapse prevention planning gave me concrete, solid things to work on. I stayed sober for eight months, longer than in years. When I drank again I was humiliated, but returned to the halfway house. They wouldn’t let me feel sorry for myself. They didn’t blame me. They just said ‘it’s a very powerful disease. Let’s get you stabilized and see what we can do differently this time.’ I’ve been sober now longer than ever before. I believe that I can get well.”
It is true that people cannot get well with the knowledge and skills that they have. They have not learned to interrupt old behavior patterns and do something different. They have not learned that relapse is a process that can be changed. They have not learned about sobriety-based symptoms and what to do to manage them. They have not learned to recognize when they are moving away from recovery and moving in the direction of relapse. They do not have hope that they can ever get well.
The consequence of believing that you cannot get well is despair. Without hope there is no motivation to try again and you are condemned to a life of despair.
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Mistaken Beliefs Part 13
Mistaken Beliefs About Relapse
A MISTAKEN BELIEF IS SOMETHING THAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE AND ACT AS IF IT WERE TRUE WHEN, IN FACT, IT IS FALSE.
Mistaken Belief #13: Thinking about relapse will bring it about.
Fact: Ignoring the possibility of relapse is more likely to bring it about. Those who acknowledge the possibility and think about how it is apt to occur can take action to prevent it.
John put it this way, “When I started in AA they told me to stick with the winners. So I got next to people who talked about serenity and success at sobriety. I avoided those people who talked of fears of getting drunk and experiences in which they had to hang on by their fingernails. The only problem was that the ‘winners’ I was sticking with were not alert for relapse warning signs and they did not plan for managing them. As a result, when problems with their sobriety arose, they couldn’t cope. Now I see that the winners are those who recognize that any alcoholic or addict can relapse and, therefore, take precautions to prevent it.
Charley Brown once said: “No problem is so big or so complicated that you can’t run away from it.” Unfortunately this is not true. The problem of relapse must be dealt with. There is no way to run away. You always take yourself with you. Fortunately there are hundreds of professional counselors, doctors, and nurses devoting themselves to the problem of relapse.
The belief that thinking about relapse will bring it about creates areas of “forbidden thinking.” You believe that you cannot allow yourself to think about the possibility of relapse because thinking about it will bring it about. You therefore do not take action to prevent relapse. If you do not do anything about the problem it gets worse. It does not go away by itself. Relapse grows in the darkness of ignorance and dies in the light of clear accurate thinking.
A MISTAKEN BELIEF IS SOMETHING THAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE AND ACT AS IF IT WERE TRUE WHEN, IN FACT, IT IS FALSE.
Mistaken Belief #13: Thinking about relapse will bring it about.
Fact: Ignoring the possibility of relapse is more likely to bring it about. Those who acknowledge the possibility and think about how it is apt to occur can take action to prevent it.
John put it this way, “When I started in AA they told me to stick with the winners. So I got next to people who talked about serenity and success at sobriety. I avoided those people who talked of fears of getting drunk and experiences in which they had to hang on by their fingernails. The only problem was that the ‘winners’ I was sticking with were not alert for relapse warning signs and they did not plan for managing them. As a result, when problems with their sobriety arose, they couldn’t cope. Now I see that the winners are those who recognize that any alcoholic or addict can relapse and, therefore, take precautions to prevent it.
Charley Brown once said: “No problem is so big or so complicated that you can’t run away from it.” Unfortunately this is not true. The problem of relapse must be dealt with. There is no way to run away. You always take yourself with you. Fortunately there are hundreds of professional counselors, doctors, and nurses devoting themselves to the problem of relapse.
The belief that thinking about relapse will bring it about creates areas of “forbidden thinking.” You believe that you cannot allow yourself to think about the possibility of relapse because thinking about it will bring it about. You therefore do not take action to prevent relapse. If you do not do anything about the problem it gets worse. It does not go away by itself. Relapse grows in the darkness of ignorance and dies in the light of clear accurate thinking.
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Mistaken Beliefs Part 14
Mistaken Beliefs About Relapse
A MISTAKEN BELIEF IS SOMETHING THAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE AND ACT AS IF IT WERE TRUE WHEN, IN FACT, IT IS FALSE.
Mistaken Belief #14: There are "positive addictions" that can be substituted for negative addictions to promote comfortable and meaningful sobriety.
Fact: All addictions are negative! According to the dictionary, to be addicted means to surrender oneself to something obsessively. By its very nature “addiction” is a condition characterized by compulsion and obsession.
Even behaviors that can be good for you, when used appropriately are harmful if they are used compulsively or obsessively. Some addictions are less destructive than others. Addiction to caffeine is less destructive than addiction to alcohol, but both are harmful. Caffeine addiction is not positive just because it is less harmful than other addictions.
Substitute addictions are still addictions. They create short-term pleasure at the cost of long term pain. They produce withdrawal symptoms when the addictive chemical or behavior is removed. They produce an obsession or compulsion to use.
Substitute addictions may be exercise, AA/NA, church, work, dieting, achieving, or risk taking. These can all be positive experiences that can support and enhance sobriety. But if they are done obsessively and compulsively in such a way that they cause you to neglect other important aspects of your life, they are addictions and they are not positive. Although some addictions are more destructive than others, changing the nature of the addiction does not get rid of the problem. It trades one set of symptoms for another. A person who is compelled to run three hours a day in order to evade feelings and problems still has an addiction-centered lifestyle. The compulsion and obsession to run will create other problems, and addictive living continues. The goal for a recovering person must be addiction-free living; balanced living for stable recovery.
A MISTAKEN BELIEF IS SOMETHING THAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE AND ACT AS IF IT WERE TRUE WHEN, IN FACT, IT IS FALSE.
Mistaken Belief #14: There are "positive addictions" that can be substituted for negative addictions to promote comfortable and meaningful sobriety.
Fact: All addictions are negative! According to the dictionary, to be addicted means to surrender oneself to something obsessively. By its very nature “addiction” is a condition characterized by compulsion and obsession.
Even behaviors that can be good for you, when used appropriately are harmful if they are used compulsively or obsessively. Some addictions are less destructive than others. Addiction to caffeine is less destructive than addiction to alcohol, but both are harmful. Caffeine addiction is not positive just because it is less harmful than other addictions.
Substitute addictions are still addictions. They create short-term pleasure at the cost of long term pain. They produce withdrawal symptoms when the addictive chemical or behavior is removed. They produce an obsession or compulsion to use.
Substitute addictions may be exercise, AA/NA, church, work, dieting, achieving, or risk taking. These can all be positive experiences that can support and enhance sobriety. But if they are done obsessively and compulsively in such a way that they cause you to neglect other important aspects of your life, they are addictions and they are not positive. Although some addictions are more destructive than others, changing the nature of the addiction does not get rid of the problem. It trades one set of symptoms for another. A person who is compelled to run three hours a day in order to evade feelings and problems still has an addiction-centered lifestyle. The compulsion and obsession to run will create other problems, and addictive living continues. The goal for a recovering person must be addiction-free living; balanced living for stable recovery.
Miss Behavin'
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: regina,saskatchewan
Posts: 966
well im flabbergasted i can relate to step 6 and 7 because i just came from a 3 month treatment program that i completed step 5 in.....so im used to paperwork todo my steps now im out and on my own although i dont believe i desire to use my life seems stagnant and im in between jobs so i spend alot of time at home alone...broke, i do go to meetings 3-5 times aweek but i feel that im at a standstill, im not sure what work i need to do for step 6-7, i've almost moved to step 8 because of it but feel im not there either....
Miss Behavin'
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: regina,saskatchewan
Posts: 966
its a beautiful day to be cleanand sober !!!! no sponsor yet but i know thats my next mission. i just haven't met anyone considerable..alot of the meetings i go to are mostly men and if there are women they have less clean time than i do.....\\//
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Mistaken Beliefs Part 15
Mistaken Beliefs About Relapse
A MISTAKEN BELIEF IS SOMETHING THAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE AND ACT AS IF IT WERE TRUE WHEN, IN FACT, IT IS FALSE.
Mistaken Belief #15: Any episode of addictive use will result in immediate and total loss of control for anyone who has been addicted.
Fact: For some people who have used alcohol or drugs addictively, a return to using creates immediate and severe loss of control. From the first episode of use they lose control over their thinking, emotions, memory, judgement and behavior. If you have lost control immediately when you have started drinking or using in the past, you are probably one of those people and could be one episode away from serious consequences.
However, for many alcoholics and addicts the loss of control process is far more sneaky and subtle. As it says in the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, “Alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful.” This applies to all addictions. They typical pattern for a return to use for the addict or alcoholic does not start with just one use of alcohol or other drug that immediately causes that person to escalate out of control. The loss of control emerges gradually from a series of “experiments in control."
Let us tell you the story of Sam. Sam’s counselor told him that if he took one drink or used one drug he would lose control until he “hit bottom.” One day as he was walking home from a counseling session he was passing a bar thinking, “I don’t believe that I can’t control it. I never immediately went crazy before. Why should I now? I really believe that I can take one drink and stop.”
A few days later he came to his favorite bar and talked himself into stopping. He ordered a beer. “One beer can’t hurt me,” he said. He sat there and slowly and carefully sipped on the beer for twenty minutes, leaving about one inch of it in the bottom of the glass. As he walked out of the bar he said, “That proves that I can have one drink and stop.” His feeling of self-control heightened and his sense of self-confidence went up. He went home without drinking any more. But the obsession became alive again. He kept thinking about that one drink. He thought of how good it would feel to drink again. He became obsessed with proving that he could control his use.
About a week later he thought to himself, “you know, I had one drink and stopped; I’ll bet I could do it again.” He went into a bar, ordered one beer, sipped on it for twenty minutes, pushed away from the bar leaving an inch in the bottom of the glass and walked out feeling doubly certain that his counselor had given him bad advice. As he went home, he said to himself, “My counselor really doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I obviously can have a single drink and stop.”
He began stopping at the bar to have one drink per day to continue proving to himself that he could in fact have one drink and stop. Then he started having two drinks and within a month he got drunk. He felt guilty and went back to controlling himself with only one drink. He managed to do this for another month or so. Then he got drunk again. At that point he gave up and began to drink out of control. This pattern of loss of control is very typical.
Some people can control their use for longer periods of time than others, but they are not comfortable during these periods. They are constantly battling their obsession, compulsion, and tendency to overdo it. As they experiment, their drinking or using becomes slowly heavier and heavier until they find themselves moving back into the heavy destructive addictive use patterns of their past. This pattern seems to hold true for all addictions.
If you believe that one drink for an alcoholic, or that one time use of your drug of choice for an addict, will result in loss of control, one of two things will happen if you take that drink or use that drug. (1) You will say to yourself, “Well, I took that one drink (or drug) so I may as well keep drinking (or using). The harm is done; I just can’t stop.” And you will not take any action to interrupt your use episode while you still had some control and before any serious damage is done. Your belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. (2) You will say to yourself, “Well, I took a drink (or drug) and I didn’t lose control, so I must not be an alcoholic or addict. If I can control myself I don’t need to stop.” And then before you realize what has happened, “cunning, baffling, and powerful” alcohol (or drugs) takes over, and you are in trouble.
A MISTAKEN BELIEF IS SOMETHING THAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE AND ACT AS IF IT WERE TRUE WHEN, IN FACT, IT IS FALSE.
Mistaken Belief #15: Any episode of addictive use will result in immediate and total loss of control for anyone who has been addicted.
Fact: For some people who have used alcohol or drugs addictively, a return to using creates immediate and severe loss of control. From the first episode of use they lose control over their thinking, emotions, memory, judgement and behavior. If you have lost control immediately when you have started drinking or using in the past, you are probably one of those people and could be one episode away from serious consequences.
However, for many alcoholics and addicts the loss of control process is far more sneaky and subtle. As it says in the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, “Alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful.” This applies to all addictions. They typical pattern for a return to use for the addict or alcoholic does not start with just one use of alcohol or other drug that immediately causes that person to escalate out of control. The loss of control emerges gradually from a series of “experiments in control."
Let us tell you the story of Sam. Sam’s counselor told him that if he took one drink or used one drug he would lose control until he “hit bottom.” One day as he was walking home from a counseling session he was passing a bar thinking, “I don’t believe that I can’t control it. I never immediately went crazy before. Why should I now? I really believe that I can take one drink and stop.”
A few days later he came to his favorite bar and talked himself into stopping. He ordered a beer. “One beer can’t hurt me,” he said. He sat there and slowly and carefully sipped on the beer for twenty minutes, leaving about one inch of it in the bottom of the glass. As he walked out of the bar he said, “That proves that I can have one drink and stop.” His feeling of self-control heightened and his sense of self-confidence went up. He went home without drinking any more. But the obsession became alive again. He kept thinking about that one drink. He thought of how good it would feel to drink again. He became obsessed with proving that he could control his use.
About a week later he thought to himself, “you know, I had one drink and stopped; I’ll bet I could do it again.” He went into a bar, ordered one beer, sipped on it for twenty minutes, pushed away from the bar leaving an inch in the bottom of the glass and walked out feeling doubly certain that his counselor had given him bad advice. As he went home, he said to himself, “My counselor really doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I obviously can have a single drink and stop.”
He began stopping at the bar to have one drink per day to continue proving to himself that he could in fact have one drink and stop. Then he started having two drinks and within a month he got drunk. He felt guilty and went back to controlling himself with only one drink. He managed to do this for another month or so. Then he got drunk again. At that point he gave up and began to drink out of control. This pattern of loss of control is very typical.
Some people can control their use for longer periods of time than others, but they are not comfortable during these periods. They are constantly battling their obsession, compulsion, and tendency to overdo it. As they experiment, their drinking or using becomes slowly heavier and heavier until they find themselves moving back into the heavy destructive addictive use patterns of their past. This pattern seems to hold true for all addictions.
If you believe that one drink for an alcoholic, or that one time use of your drug of choice for an addict, will result in loss of control, one of two things will happen if you take that drink or use that drug. (1) You will say to yourself, “Well, I took that one drink (or drug) so I may as well keep drinking (or using). The harm is done; I just can’t stop.” And you will not take any action to interrupt your use episode while you still had some control and before any serious damage is done. Your belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. (2) You will say to yourself, “Well, I took a drink (or drug) and I didn’t lose control, so I must not be an alcoholic or addict. If I can control myself I don’t need to stop.” And then before you realize what has happened, “cunning, baffling, and powerful” alcohol (or drugs) takes over, and you are in trouble.
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Mistaken Beliefs Part 16
Mistaken Beliefs About Relapse
A MISTAKEN BELIEF IS SOMETHING THAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE AND ACT AS IF IT WERE TRUE WHEN, IN FACT, IT IS FALSE.
Mistaken Belief #16: Once you begin using it is impossible for you to interrupt your use before you have "hit bottom" again.
Fact: The reality of addictive use in a person who has never been addicted is this: Once you use addictively you can never be sure of what is going to happen if you use ever again. This is the nature of loss of control. Once addicted persons begin using, their lives are in danger.
Controlled drinking/using is not possible for a previously addicted person and taking a drink or using a drug is always life threatening. But using addictively on one occasion does not mean that you are condemned to use until you destroy your life totally.
Many alcoholics and addicts inadvertently program themselves for destructive use episodes. They continue drinking or using because they have come to believe that there is no way to stop once they have started. They continue drinking or using until serious damage – perhaps even death – occurs.
A much healthier position to take on the issue of “use episodes” is to realize that if you ever return to addictive use, you will have periodic “moments of sanity.” These moments of sanity may be brief, fleeting periods where you regain control of your thinking, your emotions, your memory, and your behavior and judgement. You are able to see what is happening and you have a few moments in which to take positive action. You will not be able to stop by yourself. You will need help. Taking action is not “making up your mind.” Your mind is affected by chemicals. You must get help. There is always an option other than suicide, going crazy or using addictively. There is the option of getting treatment or other help.
Many recovering people believe that it is better to be dead than drink or stoned again. They believe this so strongly that if they begin using again, they see no way out except drinking, using or death. And many do choose suicide. The suicide rate among sober alcoholics is higher than among the general population. They choose to die rather than drink or use. How sad that they are not aware that other alternatives exist.
Remember, once you begin using addictively you can never be certain what is going to happen. The odds are ninety-nine to one against your ability to drink or use moderately and safely. If you do begin to use addictively as a result of poor judgement or loss of control you will hit periodic moments of sanity. It is your responsibility to yourself and those whom you love to get help to interrupt your “episode of use” during these moments of sanity.
A MISTAKEN BELIEF IS SOMETHING THAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE AND ACT AS IF IT WERE TRUE WHEN, IN FACT, IT IS FALSE.
Mistaken Belief #16: Once you begin using it is impossible for you to interrupt your use before you have "hit bottom" again.
Fact: The reality of addictive use in a person who has never been addicted is this: Once you use addictively you can never be sure of what is going to happen if you use ever again. This is the nature of loss of control. Once addicted persons begin using, their lives are in danger.
Controlled drinking/using is not possible for a previously addicted person and taking a drink or using a drug is always life threatening. But using addictively on one occasion does not mean that you are condemned to use until you destroy your life totally.
Many alcoholics and addicts inadvertently program themselves for destructive use episodes. They continue drinking or using because they have come to believe that there is no way to stop once they have started. They continue drinking or using until serious damage – perhaps even death – occurs.
A much healthier position to take on the issue of “use episodes” is to realize that if you ever return to addictive use, you will have periodic “moments of sanity.” These moments of sanity may be brief, fleeting periods where you regain control of your thinking, your emotions, your memory, and your behavior and judgement. You are able to see what is happening and you have a few moments in which to take positive action. You will not be able to stop by yourself. You will need help. Taking action is not “making up your mind.” Your mind is affected by chemicals. You must get help. There is always an option other than suicide, going crazy or using addictively. There is the option of getting treatment or other help.
Many recovering people believe that it is better to be dead than drink or stoned again. They believe this so strongly that if they begin using again, they see no way out except drinking, using or death. And many do choose suicide. The suicide rate among sober alcoholics is higher than among the general population. They choose to die rather than drink or use. How sad that they are not aware that other alternatives exist.
Remember, once you begin using addictively you can never be certain what is going to happen. The odds are ninety-nine to one against your ability to drink or use moderately and safely. If you do begin to use addictively as a result of poor judgement or loss of control you will hit periodic moments of sanity. It is your responsibility to yourself and those whom you love to get help to interrupt your “episode of use” during these moments of sanity.
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Mistaken Beliefs Part 17
Mistaken Beliefs About Relapse
A MISTAKEN BELIEF IS SOMETHING THAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE AND ACT AS IF IT WERE TRUE WHEN, IN FACT, IT IS FALSE.
Mistaken Belief #17: Successful recovery from addiction requires continuous abstinence from the time of the initial commitment to sobriety.
Fact: Most addicted people are unable to maintain permanent abstinence the first time that they try. Once they are convinced that they are addicted, it sometimes takes an “episode of use” before they learn how to be sober.
This information is not meant to give you permission to periodically use alcohol or other drugs. As we have said, once you start using addictively you cannot be sure what will happen to you. You might die in the course of your next binge. This information is simply meant to present you with the reality that if an “episode of use” occurs, it is going to be your response to it that will determine whether or not you will ultimately recover, end up in jail or prison or ultimately die from your addiction.
Alan Marlatt in a recent book, Relapse Prevention, calls the initial return to addictive use a “lapse” and distinguishes this from the destructive return to loss of control, addictive use (a life threatening “episode of use”).
Once addicts have an initial lapse they can do one of two things. They can interrupt it by getting help to return to abstinence and by learning from the experience how to stay sober in the future. Or they can convince themselves that it is hopeless and continue to use destructively until the loss of control leads them to full-blown life threatening “episode of use.” If they believe that they are hopeless or that they have failed totally because they have lapsed, they will give up and not continue their efforts to recover and attain continuous sobriety.
Relapse prevention planning involves learning how to develop an early intervention plan that will allow you to intervene in your lapse process before it becomes a life threatening, full blown, “episode of use.”
In this way many people also learn valuable lessons about what triggered them into addictive use. They identify the mistakes that they made and the weaknesses in their recovery program and they improve as a result. There is always hope if you are willing to come back to your self-help group and to your professional treatment program to sort out what went wrong.
The higher the level of self-criticism and self-punishment we put on ourselves, the more likely addicted persons are to continue their “episode of use” until they do serious damage to themselves. It is far more productive if we recognize our “lapse” or “episode of use” for what it is, a symptom of our addiction. A “lapse” or “episode of use” is an indication that we somehow failed to manage our recovery (what we tried before didn’t work). There is more work for us to do. The sooner we interrupt the “lapse” or “episode of use” by getting ourselves back into treatment the better off we are going to be.
If you are out of control when you begin to use or drink, you will need the help of other people to stop early. This help is called intervention. Intervention is simply a term for the process of helping someone who is out of control and resisting the help that they need. By training other people in your life to intervene should you return to addictive use, you can cut your “lapses” or “episodes of use” short and get back into treatment and on the road to wellbriety. The time to set up this intervention plan is early in your recovery.
Misconceptions about relapse can cause you problems no matter how sincere your beliefs. The fact is that you can choose to change your mistaken beliefs, and when you do, you will change the consequences of those beliefs.
Relapse is a process not an event! Recovery is a pathway not a destination! You CAN do it! We Wish You The Best of Luck!
A MISTAKEN BELIEF IS SOMETHING THAT YOU BELIEVE TO BE TRUE AND ACT AS IF IT WERE TRUE WHEN, IN FACT, IT IS FALSE.
Mistaken Belief #17: Successful recovery from addiction requires continuous abstinence from the time of the initial commitment to sobriety.
Fact: Most addicted people are unable to maintain permanent abstinence the first time that they try. Once they are convinced that they are addicted, it sometimes takes an “episode of use” before they learn how to be sober.
This information is not meant to give you permission to periodically use alcohol or other drugs. As we have said, once you start using addictively you cannot be sure what will happen to you. You might die in the course of your next binge. This information is simply meant to present you with the reality that if an “episode of use” occurs, it is going to be your response to it that will determine whether or not you will ultimately recover, end up in jail or prison or ultimately die from your addiction.
Alan Marlatt in a recent book, Relapse Prevention, calls the initial return to addictive use a “lapse” and distinguishes this from the destructive return to loss of control, addictive use (a life threatening “episode of use”).
Once addicts have an initial lapse they can do one of two things. They can interrupt it by getting help to return to abstinence and by learning from the experience how to stay sober in the future. Or they can convince themselves that it is hopeless and continue to use destructively until the loss of control leads them to full-blown life threatening “episode of use.” If they believe that they are hopeless or that they have failed totally because they have lapsed, they will give up and not continue their efforts to recover and attain continuous sobriety.
Relapse prevention planning involves learning how to develop an early intervention plan that will allow you to intervene in your lapse process before it becomes a life threatening, full blown, “episode of use.”
In this way many people also learn valuable lessons about what triggered them into addictive use. They identify the mistakes that they made and the weaknesses in their recovery program and they improve as a result. There is always hope if you are willing to come back to your self-help group and to your professional treatment program to sort out what went wrong.
The higher the level of self-criticism and self-punishment we put on ourselves, the more likely addicted persons are to continue their “episode of use” until they do serious damage to themselves. It is far more productive if we recognize our “lapse” or “episode of use” for what it is, a symptom of our addiction. A “lapse” or “episode of use” is an indication that we somehow failed to manage our recovery (what we tried before didn’t work). There is more work for us to do. The sooner we interrupt the “lapse” or “episode of use” by getting ourselves back into treatment the better off we are going to be.
If you are out of control when you begin to use or drink, you will need the help of other people to stop early. This help is called intervention. Intervention is simply a term for the process of helping someone who is out of control and resisting the help that they need. By training other people in your life to intervene should you return to addictive use, you can cut your “lapses” or “episodes of use” short and get back into treatment and on the road to wellbriety. The time to set up this intervention plan is early in your recovery.
Misconceptions about relapse can cause you problems no matter how sincere your beliefs. The fact is that you can choose to change your mistaken beliefs, and when you do, you will change the consequences of those beliefs.
Relapse is a process not an event! Recovery is a pathway not a destination! You CAN do it! We Wish You The Best of Luck!
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