Jo S

Help! I am desperate to get some feedback but finding it difficult to suss how things work on here! I am familiar with the 12 step programme having been into treatment approx 10 years ago. I don't "use" any more and am on no medication for the first time in years. I got married two years ago and have one son, Jake and am once again pregnant, due end April. I don't have time to get to very many meetings (nor are very many available where i live as it is kind of rural) so i am going to have to rely on the phone and internet. Where i stand is that feelings that have been pushed down for many years (say 2 or 3) and have started to rear their ugly head again and i don't like them ONE BIT! I have started to feel increasingly resentful towards a family member in my life and this scares me as i am only to aware that resentment is "the number one killer" - it eats away at you. I am also finding it difficult to be honest with myself. Can anyone help?

susan_17

I found this forum a bit confusing at first. Just keep playing around on it and in a few days it'll come together, well it did for me. My name is Susan (alcoholic/addict) I have only been posting on here a 2-3 weeks and have found it to be a wonderful tool in my recovery. The meetings around here are small, with limited people that have any lengths of sobriety, so I use this site as my primary support. Everyone here is very encouraging and supportive. Keep coming back, as well as, posting and you'll see what I mean. With Love, Susan

na4today

Hi Jo...I'm na4today and I'm an addict. Congratulations on the baby. You will meet great people here and like Susan said, it is a wonderful tool in recovery. I sure understand that feeling of resentment. I have big resentment against my mother. I'm having a very hard time working through it. Hang around and keep posting.
na4today

Jo S

Thanks for the encouragement. I shall persevere. Having an ok day today anyhow. It is alright when i feel "in control"! and i don't have "stinking thinking". What kind of resentment do you have with your mother? I'm afraid i have strong resentment against my sister and feel very ashamed to admit it. Of all the feelings in the world why is it that Jealousy and the likes has no known (not to me anyway) benefit. Take care.

Time2Surrender

Jo S, welcome to SoberRecovery.Its a little strange getting used to a new forum at first.But like Susan said,stick around and in a few days you will be right at home.As far as resentments? Im sure you already know. "Resentments are like me drinking poison and then waitimg for the other person to die"

na4today

You name it and I resent her for it. She is a very very controlling, abusive person. I lived most of my life either fearing her or begging for affection. She has not changed except that I'm grown and in my own home. I am still scared to stand up to her so I try to keep contact with her to a bare minimum. It's a looong story but that's part of it. I could go on forever but ya get the drift. I don't like to feel this way about her but it is a part of my recovery that I am having a hard time working through and letting go of.

Jo S

Really liked your quote (Time2Surrender) about resentment being like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die! Food for thought. Thank you Susan 17 too for your words of encouragement. Aim gaining already from the site. Do find it difficult to put my recovery first as i know one must if one is to "get well". Am so busy running around chasing my tail that i sometimes forget how important it all is but have no intention of going back to where i have been in the past and God willing I shall find it coming first in my life any way. Good night for now - am commotose tired!! Thank you all and take care x