exlibris

As some of you know, it's been a rough couple of months for me. My wife came to me on Nov 8, 2004 and said she wanted a divorce and two weeks later I packed up some of my belongings and moved from Oregon to New Jersey where I'm originally from.

It was the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me. It would have been so easy to get drunk, but I'm glad I didn't. It was as though everything that was important to me was now gone. It felt as if I was at zero.

But I'm really starting to understand that there's no better place - at least for me - to begin my life again, than from the beginning. I always hear about how people "re-invent temselves. That's how I feel. Now that I'm sober I can find out who I really am, what I want to do, etc.

I grew up in an alcoholic family - my Dad was. My entire childhood was one of dealing with an alcoholic. Tough thing when you're a kid.

I swore that I would never drink and end up like my Dad. Well, I did. So my life up until recently was one of dealing with an alcoholic in my childhood. and then being an active alcoholic off and on until last year - that's 40 years of my life - I'll be 41 in March. My God, if anyone doesn't think that alcohol is not powerful, just take a look at me!

Well, here I am at the beginning. It's alittle scarey and I know it's going to take time. But I'll make it - one day at a time with belief in my HP, AA, and Sober Recovery.

Thanks for letting me share.

Richard

Mandybabes

Dear Richard,

I'm sorry this has been such a tough time for you. Congratulations on your resolve to stay sober during this difficult time. I'm sure it is easier sober, although you really have to "feel" and I think that is a good thing. Lots of changes for you. Job? Children left behind? Feel free to vent at any time, and good luck with your re-inventing of yourself!@

Hugs,
Marilyn

HPierce

well richard welcome to the east side er welcome back how about that. i can totally relate to you on your story... my mother is deep in her addiction and i found myself saying oh i will never be like her. and starting this past year i was on my way. finally my bf said to me get sober or get out... so i choose a sober life. i figured it couldnt be worse than what i was putting myself through right now, right!!! i'm very glad i choose that bc i met alot of people that i just treasure. and i would have never been at this site or met my wonderful sponsor! anyways i hope you have a easy time adjusting. and just remember there is soo much you can still do dont let this divorce leave you feeling down.

liveat5

Many similarities between your story and mine. Yes, this is the time to reinvent ourselves, and be better people than we could have ever hoped before.

susan_17

I believe that everything happens for a reason, even though we may not see it at the time. Life is a series of ups and downs and i look up to you for making it through such a hard time without drinking. I don't think i could ever be that strong! Thank you for sharing and I hope that things look up for you soon... With Love, Susan

Phinneas

((((Richard)))) Yup, same here. The devastation, the wreckage is... unbelievable. But I am still here. I'm not who I was, not even who I thought I was... so who am I? Tough question, but worth an answer. And in recovery I just might find it.

Thanks for sharing yourself, Richard. It helps knowing I'm not alone on my journey.

jojo

CAPTAINZING2000

Sad to say it happpens in life. People get divorced, people die, people lose there jobs the list goes on forever.

Focus on you, not on your marriage right now. Go to more meetings, volunteer to help out at the meetings. Donate blood help out for any other civic affair going on. The sad thing is, you have a pity party no one wants to come to it

We're all here for you. Stay posting, you're a good person. Sad to say, bad things still happen to good people

GOD BLESS

CHRIS

Dan

Re-invent ourselves, re-tool, renew.
As we take the walls that isolated us down, brick by bloody brick, we emerge new again.
Yep.

3legacy

(((((((ExLibris)))))))
The never ending process of living without having to take that first drink. Thanks for a great share. Reminds me that every day is a new beginning no matter my present circumstance.

Kiss Heart of Spirit
In Love & Service,
3 Legacy

sherbear5104

I like that. Thanks for starting this thread Richard. It's a good reminder that I am re-inventing myself!

Time2Surrender

Richard,I remember when you first started going through all this,and moved back to the East coast etc.I admire how you have stayed sober through all this.You are an inspiration to many here at SR. Michael

exlibris

Thanks everyone.

It was one of those days when I just needed to talk. I am so glad you are all here to help.

Marilyn - I'll start a new job on Feb. 6th and fortuantely, there were no children.

Now I'm off to the gym! Physical exercise has helped so much. I feel so much better after that.

Love to all,

Richard