I'm angry
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6
I'm angry
Hi I'm new. 15 days sober. My marriage broke up in part due to my drinking. I'm bitter and I'm mad at her. I would have never met her if I wasn't such a drunk. I don't get how alcohol seems to to function as a truth serum. In my black out I dissolved our marriage. I can't go back to her or try to go back because we both get drunk and then the name calling starts, and then the potencial for violence (she bruised my chest last time). I quit my jobs to be with her, gave my cat away, to move in with her. Now it's all over. I left my vacation with her halfway through it because I didn't want to become a cuckold. I'm 36 and I feel washed up.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 94
welcome
Hi funposse,
welcome to this site! Sounds like you're going through a lot! It also sounds like, from what you described, that your marriage to this woman was not exactly a healthy relationship. Believe me, I know all about unhealthy relationships. All the feelings you're having are totally normal, especially because you're not numbing them with alcohol. I just got clean and sober a couple months ago and it's been very weird and scary having emotions and dealing with them instead of self medicating. Hang in there and if you're open to the idea, try some AA meetings in your area.
welcome to this site! Sounds like you're going through a lot! It also sounds like, from what you described, that your marriage to this woman was not exactly a healthy relationship. Believe me, I know all about unhealthy relationships. All the feelings you're having are totally normal, especially because you're not numbing them with alcohol. I just got clean and sober a couple months ago and it's been very weird and scary having emotions and dealing with them instead of self medicating. Hang in there and if you're open to the idea, try some AA meetings in your area.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,496
Hi Fun,
It does sound like you have things to be angry about. I have things I can be angry about too, but what good would it do? We all do things while we're drinking that we wish we hadn't and that can never be undone, no matter how much we want to.
Try to step out of the anger and move forward. Acknowledge to yourself how angry you are and then put it aside. It will serve you no purpose in staying sober or living your life in the future.
Love, Anna
It does sound like you have things to be angry about. I have things I can be angry about too, but what good would it do? We all do things while we're drinking that we wish we hadn't and that can never be undone, no matter how much we want to.
Try to step out of the anger and move forward. Acknowledge to yourself how angry you are and then put it aside. It will serve you no purpose in staying sober or living your life in the future.
Love, Anna
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: NM
Posts: 28
Hi Funposse,
I too am fairly new. I too lost my marriage because of my drinking. In my case, I saw my husband's leaving as an excuse to drink as much as I wanted. But when he found another woman just two weeks after his leaving me, I became very angry (and drank even more). Two years on, and with 28 days of sobriety behind me, I realise just how unhealthy our marriage was, and that I need to concentrate on my recovery. I go to AA meetings, and have a sponsor who I can trust to hold me accountable, and gives me insight to my alcoholism.
Have you attended an AA meeting yet? Do you have a sponsor? I can recommend both.
I am praying for you, that you will find the strength to go on - and stay sober.
Hugs,
Lindsey
I too am fairly new. I too lost my marriage because of my drinking. In my case, I saw my husband's leaving as an excuse to drink as much as I wanted. But when he found another woman just two weeks after his leaving me, I became very angry (and drank even more). Two years on, and with 28 days of sobriety behind me, I realise just how unhealthy our marriage was, and that I need to concentrate on my recovery. I go to AA meetings, and have a sponsor who I can trust to hold me accountable, and gives me insight to my alcoholism.
Have you attended an AA meeting yet? Do you have a sponsor? I can recommend both.
I am praying for you, that you will find the strength to go on - and stay sober.
Hugs,
Lindsey
In Memory Of
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Connecticut.
Posts: 3,736
Welcome to SR ! Congradulations on your 15 days! Yea our lives are a mess when we first start geting clean.I made some bad choices while drinking too.I had to let go of somethings in the begining because anger kept getting me drunk and it just wasnt worth it anymore.Try to concentrate on today and your sobriety,15 days is quite an achievement! The best revenge is living well ! Bless,Trish
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6
Thanks
I'm pissed because she treats me like a drunk now and she's just as bad as I am or worse. I'm sorry about your marriage. No I haven't attended AA this time around. But I'm getting frustrated and find myself heading to the beer store. I'm going to take a long walk tonight. Thanks for replying. 28 days that's great! You're right to focus on yourself. I am too, but I'm still mad at myself and I'm hard to be around right now.
Learning as I go
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 730
Congrats on your 15 days!! That's great. I know it's hard but try not to let her bother you. She only can if you let her. Focus on you and recovery and pray that she can find it too.
Keep coming back
na4today
Keep coming back
na4today
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Welcome to SR!
When we start changing ourselves, letting go of that self blame, accept the future sober can be a new begining, you'll begin to find peace. What we want to change in others begins with ourself. The anger and bitterness will lead you back to the bottle, so find a means of support in your area, and hang out with us, we're a great bunch and will offer all the support you can handle.
When we start changing ourselves, letting go of that self blame, accept the future sober can be a new begining, you'll begin to find peace. What we want to change in others begins with ourself. The anger and bitterness will lead you back to the bottle, so find a means of support in your area, and hang out with us, we're a great bunch and will offer all the support you can handle.
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