I'm Still Here :)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Colorado
Posts: 63
I'm Still Here :)
I haven't posted much, but I read this site several times a day. And guess what? I'm on day 49 of sobriety. I cannot believe how fast the time has gone by. The days used to drag by, and I would try to kill the hours with drink. Then the inevitable day of recovery then, of course to drink again.
A friend asked me today how I've been spending my time, (not knowing of my alcoholism) and I thought, 'man I've spent the last two years doing almost nothing but drinking and recovering.' Some life, huh?
I still haven't been to an AA meeting, mainly because of my anxiety disorder, but I feel something is missing. That I need a process I can latch onto for dear life never let go. So, I sometimes have my own little AA meetings with just me as the sole member. And I come here and read all the strength and hope, and mostly get inspiration from those who are new. I've been in their shoes, and I never want to go back. But if you are new, trust me, if I can stop drinking you can too. I was a lifelong career drinker. I've had a few moments of temptation, but I know if I don't pick up the first one, I'll never pick up the tenth. One day at a time.
I've scoped out all the meetings in my area and I try not to be hard on myself for not making one yet, but theres a meeting close by every Tuesday and this week I may just make it.
Thank you all for being here, I can't tell you how much it's meant to me. And if you're new, forty-nine days ago I was new, too. Now I'm new in a different way, I'm a new me. You can do it too.
Best wishes,
Thorn
A friend asked me today how I've been spending my time, (not knowing of my alcoholism) and I thought, 'man I've spent the last two years doing almost nothing but drinking and recovering.' Some life, huh?
I still haven't been to an AA meeting, mainly because of my anxiety disorder, but I feel something is missing. That I need a process I can latch onto for dear life never let go. So, I sometimes have my own little AA meetings with just me as the sole member. And I come here and read all the strength and hope, and mostly get inspiration from those who are new. I've been in their shoes, and I never want to go back. But if you are new, trust me, if I can stop drinking you can too. I was a lifelong career drinker. I've had a few moments of temptation, but I know if I don't pick up the first one, I'll never pick up the tenth. One day at a time.
I've scoped out all the meetings in my area and I try not to be hard on myself for not making one yet, but theres a meeting close by every Tuesday and this week I may just make it.
Thank you all for being here, I can't tell you how much it's meant to me. And if you're new, forty-nine days ago I was new, too. Now I'm new in a different way, I'm a new me. You can do it too.
Best wishes,
Thorn
Meetings Coordinator
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 374
hey thorn that is great news 45 days!!!!! getting to meetings is very important in your recovery!!! i love going to my meetings they were pretty scarey at first seeing how i'm only 23 and everyone there was in their 50's and up... felt out of place. but now i love going to them and usually spend all day just excited to go to one that evening!!! congrats again! That is surely in order... i'm actually heading out to colorado in feb... breckenridge... for some skiing... i'm trying to find some meetings to go too!!! so maybe some time you can help me out 
Heidi
Heidi
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 689
Hi Thorn, congrats on the 49 days! I hear you with the anxiety problems. I have them too. They are some of the big reasons I drank. Just wanted to let you know that AA has helped me a whole lot. Yes, it was tough to walk into that first meeting. I have always had a sort of social phoba, and have always been uncomfortable around people. But the folks at the meeting were all really nice, understanding, and accepting. I felt like for the first time I could just speak without fear of being judged. AA has truly been a life changing experience. Hope you can make a meeting sometime!
Grateful recovering alcoholic
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Blissfield, MI
Posts: 814
Thorn,
50 days sober - congrats! You are not the only person who suffers from anxiety, many of us have/do. If you don't want to go alone, call the hotline and ask someone to pick you up or to meet you there. Go to an open lead first, then some of the faces will look familiar. If you're feeling this good without AA Thorn, imagine how fabulous you will feel when you go to AA! It's a new way of life, that's for sure.
Love,
Jen
50 days sober - congrats! You are not the only person who suffers from anxiety, many of us have/do. If you don't want to go alone, call the hotline and ask someone to pick you up or to meet you there. Go to an open lead first, then some of the faces will look familiar. If you're feeling this good without AA Thorn, imagine how fabulous you will feel when you go to AA! It's a new way of life, that's for sure.
Love,
Jen
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Colorado
Posts: 63
Thank you all for your thoughts and encouragement!
Rereading my post, it almost sounds like I think I have this thing beat. Haha! Sometimes I'm hanging on by my fingernails! That's why I really need a support group, I know that demon alcohol is lurking just around the corner. I've relapsed so many times in the past I can't even count them.
And Heidi, an online meeting is a great idea! I'll have to go into chat and I hope to see you there! Great to hear you're coming out here, let me know if I can be of any assistance in finding a meeting
And thank you Marty, Jen and Kel for your thoughts and support. I appreciate it.
Thorn
Rereading my post, it almost sounds like I think I have this thing beat. Haha! Sometimes I'm hanging on by my fingernails! That's why I really need a support group, I know that demon alcohol is lurking just around the corner. I've relapsed so many times in the past I can't even count them.
And Heidi, an online meeting is a great idea! I'll have to go into chat and I hope to see you there! Great to hear you're coming out here, let me know if I can be of any assistance in finding a meeting
And thank you Marty, Jen and Kel for your thoughts and support. I appreciate it.
Thorn
Meetings Coordinator
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 374
thanks great that you feel you have it beat.. but one thing to keep in mind... we never actually get over our diease we just let god control it and try to stay dry!!! i'm glad your coming here for a support group everyone on this site is really great!!!!
and try to stay dry!!! i'm glad your coming here for a support group everyone on this site is really great!!!!
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: east coast
Posts: 2,440
Hi Thorn,
Great job on 50 days. I have a friend in the program that is only 19. She too suffers from anxiety, but she goes to meetings. She'll have 2 years clean on Valentines Day. Meetings can be scary, even to those who don't suffer from anxiety. They were at first to me. I would sit in the back and hope no one saw me. But the more I went, the easier it got. Now I am very well connected to AA. I have a great many friends in the program. They help me to deal with life as it comes. If you ever want to chat, I'm also willing to meet you in chat. I will be on vacation for the next 2 weeks, but I will look for you when I get back. Hang in there, and keep coming here. There's a lot of good stuff written on these boards.
Sherry
Great job on 50 days. I have a friend in the program that is only 19. She too suffers from anxiety, but she goes to meetings. She'll have 2 years clean on Valentines Day. Meetings can be scary, even to those who don't suffer from anxiety. They were at first to me. I would sit in the back and hope no one saw me. But the more I went, the easier it got. Now I am very well connected to AA. I have a great many friends in the program. They help me to deal with life as it comes. If you ever want to chat, I'm also willing to meet you in chat. I will be on vacation for the next 2 weeks, but I will look for you when I get back. Hang in there, and keep coming here. There's a lot of good stuff written on these boards.
Sherry
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Thorn,
just a suggestion, go to a meeting. We can dish out a line of crap a mile long on here. You go to a meeting or two get a sponser and get honest. That's how this works for the majority of us. I hang with sober people I stay sober. I hang around my old drinking pals, I going to drink eventually.
chris
just a suggestion, go to a meeting. We can dish out a line of crap a mile long on here. You go to a meeting or two get a sponser and get honest. That's how this works for the majority of us. I hang with sober people I stay sober. I hang around my old drinking pals, I going to drink eventually.
chris
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