oh geez....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: ontario
Posts: 83
oh geez....
I wasn't reading here because for some reason this site is really slow on my pc even when everything else loads fast lol. Well I had a bit too much the other night and naturally felt kind of crummy the next day, then did the oh never again routine in my mind etc. and now today have been reading some of the posts and really admire how well so many of you are doing. That's great!
Funny thing about New Years. So many of us make these resolutions, new beginnings etc. but any day can be the beginning of a "new" year I guess. So my new year began yesterday lol......
I had some really good times during the holidays and am grateful for all of them.
I am wishing everyone here a Happy New Year.!!!
I have this thing I do every year the last day of the year.... I clean house lol...get rid of any dust bunnies, etc....well this year it was just dusting the LR lol... that's ok as everything is looking good to usher in 2005.
Oh spirit, I enjoy reading Binchy too. She's a wonderful writer, depicts characters so beautifully! I always have trouble putting her books down lol can stay up all night reading her novels!
Well, I am off to a party and yes, I will be sticking to water lol...
All the best to everyone!!
greenmeadow
Funny thing about New Years. So many of us make these resolutions, new beginnings etc. but any day can be the beginning of a "new" year I guess. So my new year began yesterday lol......
I had some really good times during the holidays and am grateful for all of them.
I am wishing everyone here a Happy New Year.!!!
I have this thing I do every year the last day of the year.... I clean house lol...get rid of any dust bunnies, etc....well this year it was just dusting the LR lol... that's ok as everything is looking good to usher in 2005.
Oh spirit, I enjoy reading Binchy too. She's a wonderful writer, depicts characters so beautifully! I always have trouble putting her books down lol can stay up all night reading her novels!
Well, I am off to a party and yes, I will be sticking to water lol...
All the best to everyone!!
greenmeadow
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: ontario
Posts: 83
still wondering
Thanks Chrisman.
I am still wondering if I am an alcoholic? New Years was a sober one for me....even with champagne around and all that ? The thing is I didn't really care for any, had no desire for any and so drank bottled water? What I have noticed is that I am beginning to realize I don't actually like the way any amt of wine makes me feel? It's like all the days when I didn't have any wine at all woke me up to rather liking a feeling of not putting "poison" in my body? I have read about those of you who work really hard at not having that first drink? If because I don't have a hard time deciding not to have one does that make me a non alcoholic?
Now the other interesting observation I have made about myself is that I DO have to ACTIVELY focus on things like the many steps? Sort of like if I want serenity and to be a better person I need to work on them. Oh, and also to stick to healthy eating and all that. Along the lines of ok if I start to feel a bit anxious or mopey, I need to analyze why? and then do something to change that? Like recognize what is bringing me to that state of "feeling out of sorts" and then do whatever I figure will work to bring me back to being "in tune".....
hope I am not deluding myself.... I am trying to really analyze what the heck role alcohol played in my life......
Greenmeadow
I am still wondering if I am an alcoholic? New Years was a sober one for me....even with champagne around and all that ? The thing is I didn't really care for any, had no desire for any and so drank bottled water? What I have noticed is that I am beginning to realize I don't actually like the way any amt of wine makes me feel? It's like all the days when I didn't have any wine at all woke me up to rather liking a feeling of not putting "poison" in my body? I have read about those of you who work really hard at not having that first drink? If because I don't have a hard time deciding not to have one does that make me a non alcoholic?
Now the other interesting observation I have made about myself is that I DO have to ACTIVELY focus on things like the many steps? Sort of like if I want serenity and to be a better person I need to work on them. Oh, and also to stick to healthy eating and all that. Along the lines of ok if I start to feel a bit anxious or mopey, I need to analyze why? and then do something to change that? Like recognize what is bringing me to that state of "feeling out of sorts" and then do whatever I figure will work to bring me back to being "in tune".....
hope I am not deluding myself.... I am trying to really analyze what the heck role alcohol played in my life......
Greenmeadow
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
Hey, Greenmeadow. Hello and welcome.
Know what I think? I think the steps are a wonderful way to learn and grow regardless of what addiction we have or even if we have one at all. So, stick around, go to meetings, keep working on the steps for YOU.
Only you can know if you are an alcoholic or not. Regardless, you can benefit so much from an honest program of recovery. We all can (putting myself on the very top of that list! lol)
HUGS,
jojo
Know what I think? I think the steps are a wonderful way to learn and grow regardless of what addiction we have or even if we have one at all. So, stick around, go to meetings, keep working on the steps for YOU.
Only you can know if you are an alcoholic or not. Regardless, you can benefit so much from an honest program of recovery. We all can (putting myself on the very top of that list! lol)
HUGS,
jojo
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: ontario
Posts: 83
Thanks Jojo.
Another sober night here.
Was reading some posts. Somebody somewhere had a quote or something about no such thing as a social addict. I thought about that for a while. All the different things that can mean. Came up with, of all things, that I know some people find it hard to be alone. I don't mind being alone some of the time (lots of hobbies), or even a lot of the time but sure do hate being alone 100% of the time.........
..... but I know one person or two who never seems to be able to be alone, even though neither of them drink. So i concluded that a "social addict" does exist.....
someone else wrote in about filling time that previously was filled with drinking.....
saw lots of good answers posted
one thing I am doing is catching up on some things I did not do...and some of that means reconnecting with friends I let slip while I was busy being miserable....so that is good all around.....
greenmeadow
thanks for ALL of the posts....
Another sober night here.
Was reading some posts. Somebody somewhere had a quote or something about no such thing as a social addict. I thought about that for a while. All the different things that can mean. Came up with, of all things, that I know some people find it hard to be alone. I don't mind being alone some of the time (lots of hobbies), or even a lot of the time but sure do hate being alone 100% of the time.........
..... but I know one person or two who never seems to be able to be alone, even though neither of them drink. So i concluded that a "social addict" does exist.....
someone else wrote in about filling time that previously was filled with drinking.....
saw lots of good answers posted
one thing I am doing is catching up on some things I did not do...and some of that means reconnecting with friends I let slip while I was busy being miserable....so that is good all around.....
greenmeadow
thanks for ALL of the posts....
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Originally Posted by greenmeadow
Thanks Chrisman.
I am still wondering if I am an alcoholic? New Years was a sober one for me....even with champagne around and all that ? The thing is I didn't really care for any, had no desire for any and so drank bottled water? What I have noticed is that I am beginning to realize I don't actually like the way any amt of wine makes me feel? It's like all the days when I didn't have any wine at all woke me up to rather liking a feeling of not putting "poison" in my body? I have read about those of you who work really hard at not having that first drink? If because I don't have a hard time deciding not to have one does that make me a non alcoholic?
Now the other interesting observation I have made about myself is that I DO have to ACTIVELY focus on things like the many steps? Sort of like if I want serenity and to be a better person I need to work on them. Oh, and also to stick to healthy eating and all that. Along the lines of ok if I start to feel a bit anxious or mopey, I need to analyze why? and then do something to change that? Like recognize what is bringing me to that state of "feeling out of sorts" and then do whatever I figure will work to bring me back to being "in tune".....
hope I am not deluding myself.... I am trying to really analyze what the heck role alcohol played in my life......
Greenmeadow
I am still wondering if I am an alcoholic? New Years was a sober one for me....even with champagne around and all that ? The thing is I didn't really care for any, had no desire for any and so drank bottled water? What I have noticed is that I am beginning to realize I don't actually like the way any amt of wine makes me feel? It's like all the days when I didn't have any wine at all woke me up to rather liking a feeling of not putting "poison" in my body? I have read about those of you who work really hard at not having that first drink? If because I don't have a hard time deciding not to have one does that make me a non alcoholic?
Now the other interesting observation I have made about myself is that I DO have to ACTIVELY focus on things like the many steps? Sort of like if I want serenity and to be a better person I need to work on them. Oh, and also to stick to healthy eating and all that. Along the lines of ok if I start to feel a bit anxious or mopey, I need to analyze why? and then do something to change that? Like recognize what is bringing me to that state of "feeling out of sorts" and then do whatever I figure will work to bring me back to being "in tune".....
hope I am not deluding myself.... I am trying to really analyze what the heck role alcohol played in my life......
Greenmeadow
I'm going to throw the oldest cliche around out to you with deep empathy.
"One day at a time" your answers will come. Your miracle is in progress, I'm sure of it!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: ontario
Posts: 83
Ha ha...
I am borrowing two words from spirit......
ha ha.....
I am an alkie.....
Thanks chy, I see myself in too many posts by others!
I can sit around and think of millions of reasons why I might drink ha ha... most recent one dragged up was hey, it liberates the creative muse in me when I paint... ha ha.... well the only thing liberated recently has been the actual paint and on my clothes 'cause I am too busy having a glass of wine and "creating" to bother changing into proper outfits that can get paint on them and stay in clothes that I have to throw out the next day because the damn paint won't come out... and my "masterpieces" end up not being masterpieces.
Plus old habits die hard. Someone coming for dinner, I get the groceries, and stop for a bottle of wine, gotta be the good hostess right? Right. So why did I pick up more than one bottle? So the weather report says storm watch... what was I thinking? That it wouldn't be good to get stuck at home in a blizzard and I should stock up?
ha ha.....
wrong road.....
well, today i stop fooling myself
plus, I got up while writing this and emptied that purse of mine of many loonies and toonies and dropped them in that piggy bank of mine and then placed it in a prominant place.... time to get serious about balancing my budget ha ha.....
not drinking today..... (
greenmeadow......off to meditate and put myself in a higher power
ha ha.....
I am an alkie.....
Thanks chy, I see myself in too many posts by others!
I can sit around and think of millions of reasons why I might drink ha ha... most recent one dragged up was hey, it liberates the creative muse in me when I paint... ha ha.... well the only thing liberated recently has been the actual paint and on my clothes 'cause I am too busy having a glass of wine and "creating" to bother changing into proper outfits that can get paint on them and stay in clothes that I have to throw out the next day because the damn paint won't come out... and my "masterpieces" end up not being masterpieces.
Plus old habits die hard. Someone coming for dinner, I get the groceries, and stop for a bottle of wine, gotta be the good hostess right? Right. So why did I pick up more than one bottle? So the weather report says storm watch... what was I thinking? That it wouldn't be good to get stuck at home in a blizzard and I should stock up?
ha ha.....
wrong road.....
well, today i stop fooling myself
plus, I got up while writing this and emptied that purse of mine of many loonies and toonies and dropped them in that piggy bank of mine and then placed it in a prominant place.... time to get serious about balancing my budget ha ha.....
not drinking today..... (
greenmeadow......off to meditate and put myself in a higher power
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