hockeyplayer28

Man did I screw up last night. Got pretty drunk and ended up with a woman that I shouldn't have. I can't believe that my life has come to this. I went a month without drinking, with no problem. Then in the last couple of weeks I went back to it. I can't believe the things that I do when I drink.

Do any of you experience this kind of stuff. I want to quit so badly, I just fail and fail and fail again. The sad thing is I have only been drinking a few years. I started, got a DUI, and just hate my behavior when I am drunk. Of course at the time it feels good and like I am having fun.

Well, pray for me and keep me in your thoughts. This is going to be a massive hurdle, but I have to do it this time. Geesh, sounds like a mantra.

kckman

hockeyplayer, pick yourself up, eat, get some rest and drink some water, juice or tea. Mistakes can work for you if you use them to learn from. A day at a time that is the gift. Good luck.

Phinneas

Hockey--- I don't know, man. What's up? Do you REALLY want to quit? Are you willing to go to any lengths? Are you willing to go to meetings, get a sponsor and work the steps? That's what it took for me. I had to get honest. I had to surrender. I had to finally, finally, finally know that I have no power over alcohol or drugs once they are in my body. Once I did, it was simple-- don't put the damn things in my body. (It's not easy, but it IS simple.)

You can do it if you really want it. You may have to work for it, however.

Hang in there, my friend.

jojo

TJ13

Hey there hockeyplayer28,

Sorry you had such a tough night last night. I hope you're starting to feel a little better as the day goes on. For me the worst part is hangover anxiety. I always feel like I have an exagerrated fear of heights or something.

You got my attention when you said that you've only been drinking for a few years, but that it's been pretty bad the whole time. I'm 25, and I first knew I had a drinking problem when I was about 20. I never really began drinking until I was 18 (college) but things were also bad for me from the start too. Sorry to hear that you've had a DUI. I went to jail once during a football game, but thank God that's the extent of my legal troubles. I've been very lucky.

I'm still drinking, but I haven't yet today. I've quit, failed, quit, failed too many times to count. Are you seeing any kind of therapist or doctor about the problem yet? That has been a real turning point for me. For the whole five years I've been struggling completely alone. Two months ago I started to see a therapist (really hard to make that first phone call, right?). Anyway, I'm not there yet (sober), but I feel like I'm starting to make real progress. I guess what I'm saying is that I hope you call somebody. Anybody.

My thoughts are with you this afternoon. You are not alone. Please keep posting and send me a private message if you'd like to talk.

TJ13

Stephanie

Hi hockey,

It has been my experience that you finally get so sick and tired of being sick and tired that even when you go through the times when you think you're having fun now, they don't seem like too much fun anymore.

Luckily many people do have the desire to quit drinking at that phase. Then there are those unfortunates like myself who keep going only to find that the physical addiction becomes so severe that they have given themselves a whole other hurdle, reason to keep using, etc.

I wasn't lucky enough to be able to come to a place like this and read what my future could be if I didn't stop. I don't know if it would have changed much but take a look at where alcohol has taken some people, thank your lucky stars that you haven't had to go there yet, and then get yourself some help. Perhaps, this time will be the last time you'll ever have to feel like this again.

hockeyplayer28

My company has excellent benefits. I am going to seek out a therapist tomorrow. I think I need that help. I have a lot of problems with anxiety and I think that is some of the trigger for drinking (or at least an excuse). I do want to quit, but I am not at rock bottow yet, but I don't want it to go that far.

Thanks folks for your support. We are all in this together, but you guys have some good advice. It is nice to know that someone is going down the same road as you are.

Thanks....

hockeyplayer28

I agree. So many times, I really haven't wanted to quit. It was just too much fun. It is easy right now, because I am feeling guilty. The real test comes later on in the week, especially with New Years coming up.

gratefulgal

Hockeyplay,
It sounds like you're ready to take the fist step - good for you. Just a suggestion - you might want to look for a therapist/specialist who knows about addiction. Surprisingly, a lot of doctors, therapists, religious figures, etc. do not have a lot of knowledge about the disease. I think there's a part in either the AA or NA text that says how addicts have tried to seek help from psychiatrists, doctors, therapists and clergy and we were not successful. I'm not saying that no one is successful with this route, but just be cautious on who you choose as your professional. They do have people out there that specialize in addiction. Good luck!

ChrisMan

Hi, Hockeyplayer. Just wanted you to know that I fell so many times and never thought I could stay sober. Getting sober was easy. Staying sober was something else.

What made the difference for me? As others suggested -- I didn't stay sober until I really wanted to stay sober. For me this included surrendering my life to my Higher Power and really doing the 12 Steps in a very thorough way, and going to meetings. Sobriety became real for me when I made it active -- something that is positive, not passive or just the absence of a drug, but something I work at and something that is a positive goal, every day, day by day. And something that I really really wanted. And boy, do I want it now!

Hope everything goes well this week. Hope you find great support here.

ChrisMan