Um ... hi
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Orlando, Florida
Posts: 2
Um ... hi
Yeah. I feel the need to introduce myself, although I'm pretty sure that most people don't read the "newbie" section.
Let's start with saying I'm not an alcoholic. Then what the heck am I doing here, you ask?
I grew up w/ an alcoholic father and a relationship-addicted mother, and it has damaged me horribly. I have almost all of the characteristics of an adult child of an alcoholic. And I definitely have an "addictive personality", as the psychologists like to term it.
Although my brother turned out to be an alcohlolic/drug-addcit, I turned into a neurotic, perfectionistic, rigid, control-freak. I haven't touched a drop of alcohol in my entire life merely because I'm scared to death of it (and fear of that whole "addictive personality" thing). But being scared of alcohol is just as unhealthy as being addicted to it, I suppose.
Nonetheless, I do have an addiction of my own. I have an addiction to tumultuous relationships. It's not a conventional addiction. In fact, most people dont' even think it's a valid one. It definitely doesn't receive the attention that drug, alcohol, or even sex addiction does . But I'm here to tell you that's it's real, and to make a long story short, it's destroying my life.
So even though at first glance it appears I don't much belong here, I think I do. And I hope to gain a lot of insight from this forum.
Kudos to anybody who actually read my introduction.
~Theresa~
Let's start with saying I'm not an alcoholic. Then what the heck am I doing here, you ask?
I grew up w/ an alcoholic father and a relationship-addicted mother, and it has damaged me horribly. I have almost all of the characteristics of an adult child of an alcoholic. And I definitely have an "addictive personality", as the psychologists like to term it.
Although my brother turned out to be an alcohlolic/drug-addcit, I turned into a neurotic, perfectionistic, rigid, control-freak. I haven't touched a drop of alcohol in my entire life merely because I'm scared to death of it (and fear of that whole "addictive personality" thing). But being scared of alcohol is just as unhealthy as being addicted to it, I suppose.
Nonetheless, I do have an addiction of my own. I have an addiction to tumultuous relationships. It's not a conventional addiction. In fact, most people dont' even think it's a valid one. It definitely doesn't receive the attention that drug, alcohol, or even sex addiction does . But I'm here to tell you that's it's real, and to make a long story short, it's destroying my life.
So even though at first glance it appears I don't much belong here, I think I do. And I hope to gain a lot of insight from this forum.
Kudos to anybody who actually read my introduction.
~Theresa~
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Anytown, USA
Posts: 1,019
Theresa,
Welcome! I am a relative new person here, though I think I might be able to provide some helpful advice. First off, thank you for posting....SR is a supportive community, and I hope we can help you.
There is a section of the board HERE that is a place you should take some time to read through. This is forum for family member's of alcoholics. They can more specifically address your concerns. It is a very informed sub-forum, and they can also help direct you to some local Al-Anon groups. I highly suggest getting involved in one for your community.
I hope you stick around and take something from our corner of the web.
-pedagogue
ps. I too am here not as a recovering addict, but as a person who's life has been touched by addiction. I felt out of place first, but you will be suprised what you can contribute.
Welcome! I am a relative new person here, though I think I might be able to provide some helpful advice. First off, thank you for posting....SR is a supportive community, and I hope we can help you.
There is a section of the board HERE that is a place you should take some time to read through. This is forum for family member's of alcoholics. They can more specifically address your concerns. It is a very informed sub-forum, and they can also help direct you to some local Al-Anon groups. I highly suggest getting involved in one for your community.
I hope you stick around and take something from our corner of the web.
-pedagogue
ps. I too am here not as a recovering addict, but as a person who's life has been touched by addiction. I felt out of place first, but you will be suprised what you can contribute.
No expectations!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
Welcome to SR, Theresa!!
Oh, yes, people around here DO read the Newcomers Board! And you ARE in the right place. There are several forums that may interest you, including one for ACOAs.
I definitely believe in love/relationship addiction. I think it is just one manifestation of "The Disease." We're all trying to fill that emptiness inside and we can do it not only with alcohol or other drug, but with food, sex, gambling, or, as in your case, relationships. I've been there myself, I believe.
Poke around and post where you feel comfortable. There is also a Women's forum you might look at. Keep coming back!
Peace, love, and hugs,
Eddie (of the female persuasion)
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
Welcome
I'm Kind Of Ful;l Of Myself. I Don't Know All The Answers. I Do Like To Make Everyone Welcome Here On The Boards Or, At A Meeting. We're All Here Trying To Help Each Other. This Is As Good As Any Place To Ask For Suggestionsd From People. So From What You're Sayin It Wan't Father Knows Best Around Your House Growing Up.
Where And How Do You Meet The Guys You Go Out With? I Don't Recall How Old You Are. It's Harder To Meet Singles Out In The World Then In Say School For Example When, You're Shy Around People. Work Romances Suck, You Break Up And You're Stuck Around Them.
What Type Of Things Interest You? There Has To Be Places To Go That Don't Attract Trash. You See, We Alkies And Drunks No How To Find Nice People Like You. Do You Get Any Sense At All When, You Go Out On A Date For The First Time?
Try And Stay Away From Any Relationships For A While. Try And Figure Out What You Want And Need In A Relationship. Remember You Deserve To Be Treated With Respect.
Stay Around, Let Some Of The Nice Women On Here Tell You What They Think
Chris
Where And How Do You Meet The Guys You Go Out With? I Don't Recall How Old You Are. It's Harder To Meet Singles Out In The World Then In Say School For Example When, You're Shy Around People. Work Romances Suck, You Break Up And You're Stuck Around Them.
What Type Of Things Interest You? There Has To Be Places To Go That Don't Attract Trash. You See, We Alkies And Drunks No How To Find Nice People Like You. Do You Get Any Sense At All When, You Go Out On A Date For The First Time?
Try And Stay Away From Any Relationships For A While. Try And Figure Out What You Want And Need In A Relationship. Remember You Deserve To Be Treated With Respect.
Stay Around, Let Some Of The Nice Women On Here Tell You What They Think
Chris
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
(((((LC))))))
Welcome to Sober Recovery. Here it doesn't matter what you are addicted to we are here to help with your recovery.I too am an adult child of an alcoholic and have found myself in relationships that are addictive. Read the "sticky posts" at the top of the "friends and family of alcoholics" and, "adult child of alcoholics forums".
You are not alone!!!
Welcome to Sober Recovery. Here it doesn't matter what you are addicted to we are here to help with your recovery.I too am an adult child of an alcoholic and have found myself in relationships that are addictive. Read the "sticky posts" at the top of the "friends and family of alcoholics" and, "adult child of alcoholics forums".
You are not alone!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Rogers Arkansas
Posts: 2
undefinedHello Im new here also. I too am not an alcoholic my father has been for about 40 years now. My mother divorced him when I was 12 and he moved to California about 24 hrs away. I have seen him twice since then I am now 34 yrs old the last time I seen him was when I was 5 months pregnant wth my son that was 12 years ago. He calls now and then but hes so drunk it's hard to understand him about 2 weeks ago he had a severe stroke.. They said he will have to be put in a nursing home his left side is paralyzed and he cannot speak, he cant grunt a little. I'm sad because He now is sober but he cant talk. I have feelings now that I never thought I would. I've always been kinda mad at him i guess. I felt he chose booze over me and the family. Im so confused. I really look forward to this forum. Best wishes and Merry Christmas
No expectations!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
Originally Posted by daddy's girl
I felt he chose booze over me and the family. Im so confused.
As an addict/alcoholic myself, I can tell you most of us do not "choose" our disease over family. When I was drinking/using, I felt absolutely compelled to continue, even though it caused me to do many things I now regret. I would imagine your dad feels terrible over much that has happened. Keep reading around here, you'll see.
Hope all are having a Merry Christmas!
Peace, love, hugs, and joy,
Eddie
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: God's Grace
Posts: 689
Hi Theresa, welcome! I'm an alcoholic, and I agree that alcohol and drug addiction gets the most publicity. But I believe that all addictions share a lot in common with eachother. If your addiction bothers you, then it is important and valid. Keep posting, lost of great suportive people here!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Sydney NSW
Posts: 29
Theresa Darling,
The Newcomers Board is very popular and gets a lot of attention from people as you will soon see.
This place has been a Godsend to me........i had been abusing alcohol for a long time, and when I lost my parents 2 years ago ........you could say I went a little gaga.......I now finally have my sanity back and am fighting for my life ..........but i'm OK and hope you are too..........
Keep posting its amazing what you'll learn here. I find everyone here so honest
LUv & Hugs
Basi :xmas6 :xmasx
The Newcomers Board is very popular and gets a lot of attention from people as you will soon see.
This place has been a Godsend to me........i had been abusing alcohol for a long time, and when I lost my parents 2 years ago ........you could say I went a little gaga.......I now finally have my sanity back and am fighting for my life ..........but i'm OK and hope you are too..........
Keep posting its amazing what you'll learn here. I find everyone here so honest
LUv & Hugs
Basi :xmas6 :xmasx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 398
Theresa,
:hello2
Good to read your post. I am ChrisMan, a recovering sexaholic. My addiction includes many things but also what you mentioned -- an addiction to tumultuous relationships. It is very serious and very destructive.
Though at first glance it seemed like I didn't have much in common with others here, I kept connected and this forum has been just awesome for me. So I hope you feel a lot of support here.
:xmasf
ChrisMan
:hello2
Good to read your post. I am ChrisMan, a recovering sexaholic. My addiction includes many things but also what you mentioned -- an addiction to tumultuous relationships. It is very serious and very destructive.
Though at first glance it seemed like I didn't have much in common with others here, I kept connected and this forum has been just awesome for me. So I hope you feel a lot of support here.
:xmasf
ChrisMan
Community Greeter
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Mid-Life Express
Posts: 9,930
Salut and welcome,
You have come to the right place and as Eddie said we do pop in to check for newcomers and say hello. No judgements simply support and love. Do have a look at the womens forum it's a very warm safe place to be. Keep posting.
hugs indigo
You have come to the right place and as Eddie said we do pop in to check for newcomers and say hello. No judgements simply support and love. Do have a look at the womens forum it's a very warm safe place to be. Keep posting.
hugs indigo
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
Welcome!
Of course we read the Newcomers board!
Just wanted to say hi. Remember, and addiction is an addiction, period. My DOC was beer, unfortunately right now it's sugar. Sounds stupid, but a tough one to break as well.
Welcome to SR, and hope you find some stuff that helps...
Ken
Just wanted to say hi. Remember, and addiction is an addiction, period. My DOC was beer, unfortunately right now it's sugar. Sounds stupid, but a tough one to break as well.
Welcome to SR, and hope you find some stuff that helps...
Ken
No expectations!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
Originally Posted by NoMoBeer
My DOC was beer, unfortunately right now it's sugar. Sounds stupid, but a tough one to break as well.
That doesn't sound stupid to me at all. I TOTALLY identify, in fact. That reminds me, I probably need to visit Eating Disorders. See y'all later!
Peace, love, and hugs,
Eddie
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