dealing with my family
 

i have three brother two of them are defiently alcoholics but they refuse to see it. it really makes it hard for me to be around them at holiday times. i use to be just like them. we would all go outside and get boosed up for the holiday. im try to set an exsample for them but they just ignore it. makes it tuff this time of year.

I know how hard holidays can be. My siblings are not alcoholic but they do drink this time of year and being with them is real hard on me. I tend to feel deeprived and sorry for myself

I always have escape plans prepared. Gracious ways to excuse myself. Or volunteer to watch after the kids, read them to sleep, whatever. I come up with something. Even, quietly, I am so sorry, please excuse me I think I may be coming down with something, don't feel well, I believe I better head home, wouldn't want you to catch it.
It's not a lie. I am coming down with a case of icky when I have had my fill of the ho-ho, have another. There also comes a point when everyone has had more than enough and they don't even notice you slip off if you are careful. I might head toward the snack tray make several right and left turns and get lost.I do it all the time.

It sounds like you have shared your feelings with them, and they continue to drink, and it bothers you that they can only see the world through the bottom of a bottle. I can understand why you feel uncomfortable with how they drink and you do not want to be around them when they drink like that. My suggestion to you is that you don't confront them directly about the drinking, because they will just get angry and won't hear what you are trying to say. Choose not to drink, and if they ask you to have a round with them, or do some shots, be honest and firm. Tell them that you enjoy spending time with them, but you do not want to have drinking be the reason you are together.

You aren't going to win the war during the holiday. You might be able to gain a bit of ground, even if you have them stop and think for 30 seconds about what you said, it is progress.

Best of luck with your family.

-pedagogue