Don't give up on yourself
 

When I first started here, I was actually stuck emotionally and couldn't seem to get much control of my drinking.
Contrary to what others believe, there is a cure for what is commonly called Alcoholism...

Here's what worked for me:
1. Get away from a toxic environment.
This includes people who you associate with, a place of employment where you feel harassed or belittled.
It may even be family.
2. If you can, move....get a fresh start...clean your place..
3. Perform tasks sober...at first, I would reward myself with a drink after completing a project...that probably was why it took a bit longer for recovery.

I started picking days that I permitted myself a few drinks...first, it would be a 3 drink maximum Friday and Saturday nights...it changed to 2 and now, I don't really care if I have a drink. If I am tired, I won't have anything alcoholic. I then consider... maybe tomorrow...

Someone told me that he never drinks alone.
I adopted this policy and found it helpful with gaining control.

Anyway, I am writing on a Saturday afternoon, completely sober AND on my birthday.

My wife of 4 years and I are planning a night out.
I will probably have a couple drinks with dinner...if I feel like it... we are taking a taxi, just in case I decide to have something.

What I am getting at is that there's hope for all of us once we break away from the triggers. We can then focus on our personal lifestyle and like ourselves again.

Your families will notice the changes in you.
Mine noticed that I no longer got drunk at family gatherings/weddings...
Best wishes!!

I fully agree. Nothing is over until you're dead. You're not dead? Then fight.

I've found the best thing for one's heart is being by oneself. Let all the feelings occupy your mind. Be with yourself. Be honest with yourself. The feelings will sort themselves out.

Hi Ozzycan- welcome:)

Sounds like you’re still drinking a little?
Maybe you mean you’re winding down to none ever - Sorry if I’ve misread that.

I’ll say it anyway: a few drinks here and there would never work for me man - sooner or later, I’d be drinking round the clock again.
Alcohol and I have a toxic relationship no matter the volume.

For me, abstinence is the key to my brand new life.



D

It would never work for me either, ozzycan. Apart from anything else it's the 1st drink that is the trigger for me.

I'm happy for whatever works for you tho. Whatever works in our own lives is the way to go.

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A few casual drinks would never work for me, either, Ozzy. Are you thinking of stopping completely?

Trying to remain in control when one drink diminishes control is contradictory Ozzy. I don't think you found a cure, looks to be you found a excuse to keep drinking. Unless I misread you? Why drink at all? There are no real health benefits and the body recognizes it as poison.

Hi Ozzy - it's so good to meet you.

Trying to be a social drinker is what led me to every day drinking & dependency. I tried everything, for years - only to find I couldn't maintain control long term. Every attempt eventually failed , no matter how determined I was.

I really hope you'll stay with us. :)

Hi ozzy, I'll echo what others have said.

Contrary to popular social beliefs, I'm fortunate enough to no longer need alcohol on social occasions, for relaxation, and or to make life feel better. It is a rewarding feeling to simply live the vanilla lifestyle. I stay away from the first drink to keep from becoming yet again a hostage to chemical dependence.

Yes, please stick around and keep us updated.

That would never work for me when it comes to alcohol.
Balls to the wall or complete abstinence.

I choose the latter due to the horrible consequences of the former.

A little is probably marginally better than more than a little but it never worked for me....over 60 years.
That "little" or so called sane or moderate drinking has a nasty habit of expanding.
I would very strongly recommend nil and an end to that control fiasco.
All the best in your considerations and actions taken.

I did some "moderation management," sometimes I'd go like that for a few months and allow myself to drink carefully, enforcing strict rules around it.

The issue for me was rarely the first night back to drinking. Sometimes I'd even go months moderating "successfully."

It was a hell of a lot of work.

Inevitability, a night where come where I'd be with my buddies and say "f' it." Then I'd wake up with a hangover... so why not have a drink or two to feel better? That turned into a binge that could last days, that would turn into anxious hangover/withdrawals, until I'd white knuckle myself back to sober and eventually back to "moderation."

Reading your post, it reminds me of my exact mindset... thinking, I can do this... I can drink "normally." I probably would've called alcohol a "reward," too, back then.

My mindset now is completely changed. I could never see alcohol as a reward. Going back to that lifestyle where alcohol had that kind of grip on me sounds more like a punishment.

Good luck in your journey! Don't hesitate to come back around if you feel you need to. This is a really kind, non-judgmental group, we've all been there.

Sounds like you've made a lot of huge changes to remove yourself from your previous alcohol surroundings which is great. It also sounds to me that you seem to spend a lot of time thinking about what you may or may not drink.

Don't get me wrong if this works for you that's great, if you were classing yourself as a normal drinker im not really sure why you'd be posting on an alcohol recovery site. I imagine most folks on here are not missing alcohol and don't want or need to moderate. Im reasonably newly sober and like others am navigating my life that I don't want alcohol to be part of it so your post actually sounds as though your saying it is possible to moderate. This may work for you but could come across as mis leading to anyone finding their feet with new sobriety.