Struggling
 

Hey all
so im off drink 6 months and yesterday I had 3 drinks, I was triggered with all this xmas stuff, I split with my ex last year xmas, thought I was doing okay but its brought a lot of emotions back up. He seems fine, off drugging, I have tried each day, yesterday it got too much.
I am trying to bring myself back to me but its really very hard.
feel lost. I need help, im very lonely. B

Good to see you, BookBuff, but I am sorry to hear that you are struggling.

Make those three drinks a blip of your sober radar screen. Dive back into sobriety.

We are here for you and will keep you company any time.

SR cares about you. We have your back.

Off to Church but will be back later.

Hi Bookbuff, that’s unfortunate, and very sorry to hear you drank. You should have been feeling a whole lot better after six months. Were you able to find some new activities to do to fill the time? That seems to be the key to quitting. Are you able to move on from the old relationship? I think you know already that drinking won’t help either way.

It’s worrying that you’ll now start craving for alcohol after yesterday. Not drinking today must be priority one. If I drank, I’d probably continue craving for a week or two. You’ll need to be strong for a few days, no alcohol in the house, etc.

I’m definitely not downplaying the lonely comment (divorced, been there), but you can work on that. For now, please keep away from alcohol. It will get better.

Sorry to hear you are struggling.

Definitely gotta make yesterday a blip.
No more alcohol. Ever.

You can do it.
6 Months is great but it has taken me a lot longer than that to get to the point where alcohol isn't the first thing that comes to mind when I'm struggling.

Keep up the Good Work. Keep digging in and working in other ways to cope.

I think that it is great that you posted, though I, too, am sorry that you drank. Be extra vigilant and stay completely away from alcohol. Keep posting again and we are here for you. Holidays are a trigger for a lot of folks, and loneliness can be especially rough around the holidays. Good to see you. Be strong.

Certain times of year will certainly bring up feelings that may be uncomfortable. Part of being in recovery is having a plan for this, it’s time to think about what you will do when this happens again. When I really thought about why I was sad or missing something (someone) it often turned out I was romanticizing the memory, and forgetting all the bad parts! Get back on the sober bus, there is nothing but lies and betrayal in alcohol, make a plan and try very hard to look at those memories honestly when they come around. Working through past trauma or loss can be painful but it can also be very liberating, but you can’t get past it until you deal with it without alcohol.

You can do this- you are not lost. You came back because you want better life and you can have it.

Next time post when you are feeling the urge to drink.
Post when you are feeling lonely.
Post when you are feeling good.

Stay connected with us. We'll help you through whatever it is.

The most important is don't let those three drinks turn into a full relapse.

No more alcohol.

It was a blip that caused me to roll back into drinking full swing. I too understand the difficulties of relationship breakdowns. Going through it myself.
I don't think I'm in the position to be giving sound advice, but I know that you don't want to drink. Your mind is still committed to staying sober, and that's a good thing. These are challenges, and you now recognize you are weak at the moment. How will you ensure this doesn't happen again?
Wishing you success on your journey. Stay strong.

Bookbuff - I'm so glad you posted. It helps with the anxiety & regret. We all understand.

I did the same thing one holiday season years ago - it led to a horrible, long relapse after 3 yrs. sober. It was so hard to get back on track. That's when I found SR & knew I never had to be alone.
I was able to reclaim my life, and now have 15 yrs. sober. Be proud of yourself for coming here to talk about what happened before more damage was done.
We're here to help - always.

Bookbuff, the six months of recovery you had was great. Don't let yesterday cause you to continue drinking. Christmas is an emotional time for many people, so it's not surprised you were triggered by memories. My suggestion is to try to create some new memories this year. Are there neighbors in your area who could use some help with fixings for Christmas dinner or some extra gifts for their kids? It's always a good time of year to help out a Food Bank in your area, too. And, you know that you are always welcome to post here any time at all, but especially when you are struggling.

Thanks everyone. I feel less lonely from all the responses. I woke today with a horrible headache and dehydration, it was nasty and I didnt sleep well, so yes it is poison, I just felt like i was in so much pain i wanted to block it out and i should have come here but i just shut myself out with a quart. So yeah, its not the answer, deep down i know that.
Ive tried meetings but im not sure they are for me, id rather just not drink. I know we all have to find our own way.

Its also true, this time of year is hard and xmas is everywhere, hard to avoid it. I think also, yes, you can romanticise the past so easily, forget the bad times, being lonely is hard but we all have to do it sometimes, and i do have my pets and family, some friends.

Its only november and this my first year really trying. Ive got a long way to go
B x

Yep, splitting up sucks, Bookbuff, and Xmas approaching doesn’t help. But somehow things just work out with a decent amount of sober time. It takes time to get over a relationship and/or accept that there’ll be no reconciliation. It’s time to plan for 2024 and the certainly it will be way better without alcohol.

No Hodd, he is on a different path, drugs and drink, for me it was just drink. I was doing okay and then felt low and decided i could handle a few drinks, my heart racing and the headache and anxiety, was horrible, ive just drank so much water today and had a small walk, hard to focus, feel quite jittery or shaky.

I suppose thats the drink and guilt from drink. And guess what im still split up with him and xmas is still coming regardless if i drink.

Thanks everyone for the support, i need to be accountable so i will post here to prove to myself i don't need to drink.

Day one again
B 🙄

glad you made it back Bookbuff :)

D

Thanks Dee, I do plan on sticking around. The drink life is not for me, its a black hole, im looking into joining a gym now too, need a focus or outlet. B

How are you doing Bookbuff?

Hey Hawkeye
well ive not drank, i got triggered with work yesterday but i had a bath and went bed with a book. Im okay. Tbh im perimenopausal also so drink made that worse. Not a good mix
my head a bit of a mess but im back to therapist on thursday
B x

Hi bookbuff I'm similar going through menopause been hell at times and I'm sure I used alcohol to cope with no sleep mood swings etc. Since I've given up I'm virtually symptom free it has been totally unbelievable for me. It's really well known alcohol doesn't help any part of the menopause you really are doing yourself a favour by not drinking.

Glad to hear you won't drink over it BB.

Sounds like you are doing all the right things so you will be OK.