“Is it worth sweating the small stuff” - Weekenders 19-22 May 2023
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,681
“Is it worth sweating the small stuff” - Weekenders 19-22 May 2023
“Is it worth sweating the small stuff” - Weekenders 19-22 May 2023
This week could’ve been a disaster for me if I’d been drinking.
Struggling to live in mum-in-law’s world of Alzheimer’s. Good days, bad days, all seem crazy days.
In the past I would’ve immediately turned to drink. I would’ve deserved it, I’d tell myself. But the drink would’ve added stress to the day and it would’ve been ‘woe is me’, the world hates me, I can’t cope.
Instead I see how I can cope better with my mum-in-law’s Alzheimer’s. It’s a difficult road but I won’t drink over it.
I know many of you will have been in similar or worse situations and have not turned to booze for the solutions. There’s zero answers in the bottom of a bottle.
Drinking, we know only exacerbates our problem.
I’ve borrowed the following text from one of many of Dee’s inspiring words. Thanks Dee.
“Illusions is one of my favourite books by Richard Bach.
It's actually the first place I read 'don't sweat the small stuff'.
I recommend it to anybody if you can find a copy.
He also writes:
“There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.”
― Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah
I struggled with that for a long time (still not sure I seek problems but I can take good from them, lol).
The gift of my problems this week was to remind me of the good things in my life...and to remind me that others in this world are *really* suffering. “
If this is your first weekend sober, or many, come join us for support and chat...as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes. (We’re here all week too!)
This week could’ve been a disaster for me if I’d been drinking.
Struggling to live in mum-in-law’s world of Alzheimer’s. Good days, bad days, all seem crazy days.
In the past I would’ve immediately turned to drink. I would’ve deserved it, I’d tell myself. But the drink would’ve added stress to the day and it would’ve been ‘woe is me’, the world hates me, I can’t cope.
Instead I see how I can cope better with my mum-in-law’s Alzheimer’s. It’s a difficult road but I won’t drink over it.
I know many of you will have been in similar or worse situations and have not turned to booze for the solutions. There’s zero answers in the bottom of a bottle.
Drinking, we know only exacerbates our problem.
I’ve borrowed the following text from one of many of Dee’s inspiring words. Thanks Dee.
“Illusions is one of my favourite books by Richard Bach.
It's actually the first place I read 'don't sweat the small stuff'.
I recommend it to anybody if you can find a copy.
He also writes:
“There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts.”
― Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah
I struggled with that for a long time (still not sure I seek problems but I can take good from them, lol).
The gift of my problems this week was to remind me of the good things in my life...and to remind me that others in this world are *really* suffering. “
If this is your first weekend sober, or many, come join us for support and chat...as we know the weekends can be a struggle sometimes. (We’re here all week too!)
Mags 
Magsie
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26,681
Congratulations on shotgun Least! 
calmself, congratulations on 549 days! Woohoo.
brilliant run!
needingtochange…aaah so true if we can put our mindset on that thought. Good to see you.
I must admit I fell asleep after posting. Had got myself so worked up inside over thoughts of mum in law just lately. I’m going to have a leisurely bath and have an easy day pottering at home.
Alpine sending love, hoping you’re soon home
Love to all Weekenders xxxx
calmself, congratulations on 549 days! Woohoo.
brilliant run! needingtochange…aaah so true if we can put our mindset on that thought. Good to see you.
I must admit I fell asleep after posting. Had got myself so worked up inside over thoughts of mum in law just lately. I’m going to have a leisurely bath and have an easy day pottering at home.
Alpine sending love, hoping you’re soon home
Love to all Weekenders xxxx
Sober-T- Dragon
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Manitoba
Posts: 8,761
I like reading about your running milestones calmself. I loved running. I was thinking about why I loved running the other day, a big part of it for me was the isolation from the world while I ran. It was just me and the rhythm. My breath, my heartbeat and my thoughts.
I had the junk man over to Dad's yesterday taking way the remnants of his belongings. Everything that didn't goto family, friends or charity. I stood in his completely empty house and had an emotional moment. One of the gifts that I now have is connection to my feelings. When Mom passed, I was at, or near, the height of my drinking and I was dead inside. Today I know I am alive.
I had the junk man over to Dad's yesterday taking way the remnants of his belongings. Everything that didn't goto family, friends or charity. I stood in his completely empty house and had an emotional moment. One of the gifts that I now have is connection to my feelings. When Mom passed, I was at, or near, the height of my drinking and I was dead inside. Today I know I am alive.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,425
Mags, I used to drink myself into a coma after having been around Dad.
So many people here listen to talk radio on the way to work and spend the day upset over some drama that was just meant to increase ratings. I struggle with being upset that people do this.
So many people here listen to talk radio on the way to work and spend the day upset over some drama that was just meant to increase ratings. I struggle with being upset that people do this.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 527
Two quotes from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous come to mind:
(1) "Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems."
(2) "We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn't do it. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence."
(1) "Quite as important was the discovery that spiritual principles would solve all my problems."
(2) "We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn't do it. Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence."
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Location: NC
Posts: 1,654
Thanks Mags. I am in. Just passed my 29 months sober yesterday. So grateful to be sober! Also so glad I found this place shortly after I quit drinking. Being active in the Morning gratitude thread has really helped me stop sweating the small stuff.
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,202
Count me in for my 436th alcohol free weekend.
Thanks for the opening post Mags. Us boozers often magnify the small stuff in order to give ourselves an excuse to drink so it's a timely reminder not to fall for it.
During my many failed attempts to get sober I found sleep VERY hard to attain which was a double whammy because an early night also has the effect of reducing the torture hours of craving in the evenings. In my last, successful attempt, I forced myself to get up early and jog along the canal and it was highly effective. Doing that, followed by a day's work and all the usual chores meant I could go to bed at nine and be asleep by ten. It was so effective, it almost felt like cheating and of course you don't need to do it for long.
For STDragon. (Who is actually doing the singing on this is something of a mystery, it might be Patti LaBell or it might not)
Thanks for the opening post Mags. Us boozers often magnify the small stuff in order to give ourselves an excuse to drink so it's a timely reminder not to fall for it.
During my many failed attempts to get sober I found sleep VERY hard to attain which was a double whammy because an early night also has the effect of reducing the torture hours of craving in the evenings. In my last, successful attempt, I forced myself to get up early and jog along the canal and it was highly effective. Doing that, followed by a day's work and all the usual chores meant I could go to bed at nine and be asleep by ten. It was so effective, it almost felt like cheating and of course you don't need to do it for long.
For STDragon. (Who is actually doing the singing on this is something of a mystery, it might be Patti LaBell or it might not)
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,808
Thanks, Mags.
Sweating the small stuff is a toxic habit of mine. It runs in my family. We are a family of anxious worriers. I'm positive that one of the reasons I enjoyed alcohol so much when I first tried it was that temporary muting of all those tiny worries that used to occupy every waking and sleeping moment. Of course, drinking solved exactly nothing, and invariably caused more problems because I'd put off taking care of things that could have helped alleviate my worrying.
It's a thing I'm working on constantly. And helping my man friend work on as well. He's a lot like me in this respect. There's a fine line between needless worrying about what might happen and being mentally prepared for various outcomes. Usually when I'm thinking about a problem, I get hung up on trying to envision every possible problem that might arise, so I can be prepared. That's a healthy thing to do, to some extent, but it can also get out of control inside my brain. So I have learned to write things down, so that plans and solutions are on paper (or in a note on my phone). That helps me release the worrying. It's a work in progress. I still sweat the small stuff way more than I should.
Congrats on 29 months, CBS!
Sweating the small stuff is a toxic habit of mine. It runs in my family. We are a family of anxious worriers. I'm positive that one of the reasons I enjoyed alcohol so much when I first tried it was that temporary muting of all those tiny worries that used to occupy every waking and sleeping moment. Of course, drinking solved exactly nothing, and invariably caused more problems because I'd put off taking care of things that could have helped alleviate my worrying.
It's a thing I'm working on constantly. And helping my man friend work on as well. He's a lot like me in this respect. There's a fine line between needless worrying about what might happen and being mentally prepared for various outcomes. Usually when I'm thinking about a problem, I get hung up on trying to envision every possible problem that might arise, so I can be prepared. That's a healthy thing to do, to some extent, but it can also get out of control inside my brain. So I have learned to write things down, so that plans and solutions are on paper (or in a note on my phone). That helps me release the worrying. It's a work in progress. I still sweat the small stuff way more than I should.
Congrats on 29 months, CBS!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 1,536
Good evening Weekenders and thank you Mags. I‘m in for another sober weekend!
I mentioned being in Cape Town last weekend for a visit to my dad and sister. On behalf of the Ministry of Tourism, here are a few pictures I took. The last one is of the historic neighbourhood called Bo Kaap, where many slaves settled after the abolishment of slavery in 1834. In the background is Table Mountain.
I mentioned being in Cape Town last weekend for a visit to my dad and sister. On behalf of the Ministry of Tourism, here are a few pictures I took. The last one is of the historic neighbourhood called Bo Kaap, where many slaves settled after the abolishment of slavery in 1834. In the background is Table Mountain.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by Cityboy 
Mags, I used to drink myself into a coma after having been around Dad.
So many people here listen to talk radio on the way to work and spend the day upset over some drama that was just meant to increase ratings. I struggle with being upset that people do this.
So many people here listen to talk radio on the way to work and spend the day upset over some drama that was just meant to increase ratings. I struggle with being upset that people do this.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 32,375
Originally Posted by CaptainHaddock
Good evening Weekenders and thank you Mags. I‘m in for another sober weekend!
I mentioned being in Cape Town last weekend for a visit to my dad and sister. On behalf of the Ministry of Tourism, here are a few pictures I took. The last one is of the historic neighbourhood called Bo Kaap, where many slaves settled after the abolishment of slavery in 1834. In the background is Table Mountain. ...
I mentioned being in Cape Town last weekend for a visit to my dad and sister. On behalf of the Ministry of Tourism, here are a few pictures I took. The last one is of the historic neighbourhood called Bo Kaap, where many slaves settled after the abolishment of slavery in 1834. In the background is Table Mountain. ...
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