venuscat

I dunno. Again, I am not sure about the "we" part; absolutely NONE of that is true for me.

I am an alcoholic, so when I picked up a drink, I could never stop. End of story. And that led to misery and ruin, as we all know it does.

Cityboy

Venus, in the countless times I 'quit', I would manage to go an evening and not drink the entire case/bottle/whatever. This just gave me a false sense of control, and then the "I could never stop" part would be even worse than before, leading to even more misery and ruin like you said. This cycle played over many times, often each time worse than the last, sometimes more than once in a week. There was definitely a progression there. I never realized just how consuming it all was until I had actually quit and finally began to come out of that fog.

Free, certainly was the case for me. At some point, it was no longer just fun and games. It had become more and more of an attempt to escape negative emotions. But in reality, those emotions were made worse by the alcohol. The behavior while drunk or hungover certainly didn't help matters either. I had come to hate myself. Replacing those negative emotions with positive ones would never have been possible unless I had quit drinking. Remaining sober wouldn't be possible unless I had begun to let go of those negative emotions. It wasn't like flipping an on/off switch. It was more like one of those round light switches that you turn to gradually increase the light. It's still turning.

venuscat

I love that the light is still turning for you, dear CB. ❤️

least

CB, mine was like that too. Felt like my recovery was on a dimmer switch. and as I 'saw the light', I was seeing more light in my mind.

Just fed Billie and added her usual wheat germ, ground flax seed, and today a bit of soup broth to make it taste better. . She then went on the porch potty and did a LW. . Good girl Billie.

Happy that Jack (rip) and Billie never have seen me drinking. .

Mags1

Good Morning Weekenders

CityBoy, it felt like I was eventually coming out of a fog when I stopped drinking. And I think it was a vicious circle, a speedway I couldn’t get off, whilst I was drinking.

Glad I managed to break free.

Least it’s good that we’re ‘present” and sober for our pets and ourselves.

RunnerF

Pledging for today. Day 208.

Alpine

Free, I could not have said it better. At first it was fun and enjoyable, then I turned to it out of frustration or anger which only made me in the end far more angry, anxious, etc. I thought it was a coping mechanism which was completely wrong and the exact opposite. It only made things worse my life went into a deep dark hole that was darn hard to climb out of. Thanks again for your great insight and comments.
I am here to be sober no matter what.

Reid82

In for a sober weekend. Not having a great time currently, changed my company car a few weeks ago and is giving me serious back pain. I'm off work currently due to the pain and related stress about the whole issue.

Cityboy

Reid, have you tried a pillow in the seat? We had a rental car on vacation once that made my back incredibly sore. A pillow helped, but didn't solve the problem.

Alpine

Reid, sorry to hear about this. I too have a bad back and have had to use lumbar support at times. Maybe a towel rolled up that way you can adjust/modify the size you need. Can you tilt the seat part? Not the back..but the seat to readjust your hips?

Reid82

I have tried at least six different cushions/lumbar supports over the last few weeks and nothing helps. I have a bulging disc in my lower back and this seat has totally set it off.
Funny enough with all my old cars I didn't have an issue but nearly straight away with this one it flared up. HR referred me to an occupational health service and the doctor there has put in a recommendation for a new car.
The problem here is fleet is saying no cars are currently available and the car is on lease for 4 years and now this is creating an issue with budgets.

Alpine

Maybe a wedge cushion?

Reid82

No matter what I do my knees are higher than my hips and that is causing the pressure on my back. There is very little height adjustment in the seat and then I'm caught for either head space and the distance to the clutch cos it's a manual.
And it's not some cheap car or brand either, it's a new BMW!

Alpine

that really stinks. So sorry.

Reid82

I've probably spent about €200 on different cushions the last while so I've given up on them now.

Reid82

Another thing is managment are nearly blaming me for the whole thing as I picked the car! I'm with the company over 14 years the whole thing is leaving a very sour taste in the mouth.
I've done my best with the seat but I've made it very clear the car needs to be changed or I will need to look at my options here.
Anyway, I'm off for a few weeks over this as I can't handle dealing with them currently due to my pretty volatile mood over the whole situation.

Alpine

So sorry Reid, I know from experience how bad back pain is. It is quite debilitating. Wish I could help you out.

Reid82

Thanks Alpine, I hope the back will settle down once the car is changed (if possible) I need to drive it currently as I live in the middle of nowwhere but only short distances.

Weasel1966

Thanks Mags!! Good to see you and everyone here staying sober this weekend!!

I read my past threads and think how did I get sober? Well I have been for a bunch of years now and living a life I enjoy. I am nothing special or super human, so that’s how I am sure you can stay sober too! Crack and drinking were so bad for a decade but here I am. ❤️

Happy weekender!!

Ken

biminiblue

((Weasel))