venuscat

Truer words were never spoken, in my opinion.

RecklessDrunk

Drinking changes everything. Give me good circumstances and a drink and I will need to drink more to make things better and things will end up sideways quickly.

I have an allergic like reaction to alcohol. Its not an allergy I adapt to instead it only gets worse with time. Circumstances will not stay favorable for me with a drink for long. Once I take that drink I need to keep feeding it. It either owns me at the moment or it does not. Im either feeding that obsession to drink or i am not. Even if i could take one drink. Refuse to pick up another. Refuse to keep feeding the obsession. Just one drink, even two drinks, then what was the point of that? Nothing good happens anymore with it. Any glimpse of that ease and comfort will be soon overwhelmed with a tsunami of misery and problems.

SoberLeigh

No way. I cannot think of a single situation that drinking wouldn’t make much worse.

VikingGF

Absolutely no.

Free2bme888

Nope.

Never want to be that deceitful, guilty, physically, mentally, and spiritually brokenl person again.

Nor, do I want that first 6 months of sobriety again. Heck, I might not even be lucky enough to try again if I pick up that first drink.

Nope, not if I moved countries, or my close relative passes away, or I lose a pet, or get hired, or fired.

I drank for ANY reason. Not only on weekends and holidays. I drank in public bathroom stalls, in the back of the library. At the poolside. As I did the dishes. As I watched TV.

Nope, not giving any reason for a chance to relive that misery again.

venuscat

^^^ Exactly ❤️

BarbieKen

A big NO.

I think the AA slogan of “No Matter What” fits perfectly.

💙🙏🏼🌌📘
Bobbi

VikingGF

Worth reading twice. Perfectly put, Free.

Eddiebuckle

Which is to say you've never managed to drink normally regardless of the environment. Until we accept the mountain of evidence about our condition, that mountain continues to grow.

One of the things that I have learned in sobriety is that I often drank because I was unable to handle the circumstances in which I found myself. In getting sober I learned how to cope with those circumstances ("Life on life's terms" in AA parlance) rather than trying to dodge or drown them. That change doesn't happen easily or quickly, but it is crucial to gaining long term sobriety.

And no, I would never drink if my circumstances changed because whatever those circumstances might be they would nosedive if I were to pick up a drink.

least

There is no event or circumstance that would make me want to drink. Just the thought of drinking makes me feel nauseous. I like my sober life too much to ruin it by drinking again. No way!!

Kaily

Unfortunately you can't turn addiction on and off, if you could it wouldn't be addiction.

Toddy

Well that's a resounding no!

Thanks everyone, very interesting reading everyones replies and especially the comment about not wanting to do the first 6 months of sobriety again. The longest I've ever had sober was 5 months and to be honest I was absolutely climbing the walls! Maybe I just need to stick it out for longer before I settle into my recovery. Maybe I'm expecting too much too soon....

brighterday1234

No 🙏

silentrun

You couldn't pay me enough.

DriGuy

This is a good post. I don't know if getting to the point where moderation is no longer on our agenda is something we arrive at naturally or something we can choose at the beginning of recovery. But it is necessary in a healthy recovery. I don't know if it is something a newcomer can choose, and I often feel at a loss as to how to impart this vital information to someone just starting out.

Maybe it's one of those things one discovers as he recovers, but at the beginning when he needs it most, it's out of reach. That's a bummer. Once you finally achieve that point in recovery, you don't need it, but when you do need it, you can't see it.

biminiblue

Absolutely. The first nine months were horrible for me. I didn't really exhale until that first year was over.

I think there is also some degree of self-improvement that has to be done alongside the just not-drinking part. That's where organized programs are really helpful. The physical side of the healing of the nervous system is well documented and doesn't fully resolve in five months. Keep at it.

I also worked really hard on all the other stuff: How I reacted to other peoples' dysfunctions. I worked on changing my own. Letting go of past issues, behaviors, hurts and traumas. Forgiving myself and everyone else in the moment when misunderstandings or hurtful things occur. Exercise daily. Good healthy nutrition. Less sugar and caffeine.

Maybe talk to a professional? Without some sober time, it's hard to know how much of it might be underlying psychological issues. I didn't go that route, but I did go to AA meetings for a few months and that was helpful in some ways by giving me people to talk to about some stuff.

More reading. Lots more. There is a great book list in the sticky posts at the top of the Newcomers forum. There is a wealth of reading. I read a lot of books and online stuff.

Free2bme888

Good point, DriGuy.

For me, I just wanted to get through the day, for ONCE.

For once, not break my promise to myself, and get through the afternoon, the evening, and get to, and remain, in bed without picking up.

Then I hoped I could white knuckle it through day 2, and feeling sick to my stomach, with a sore pancreas, it wasn’t too hard, and I got through day one, which helped me get through day 2.

Day three was when I usually caved, but oh, I really wanted it.

To see myself on day 30? Day 90? A dream…….. I wanted it more than the uncomfortableness I felt, that was decreasing everyday.

I visualized two years from that day, walking down my street, fit, content, and settling in my new home we were building. I visualized myself saying “I’ll have soda water with a twist of lime” at the restaurant, and saying to inquiring folks, “I’m good, just having this tonight”.

Accepting reality was hard, and did NOT come instantly.

After 14 months in 2019, I confused abstinence with control. FOURTEEN MONTHS. Next month, I should be celebrating five years, but I’m not, because it took 26 grueling months to hear my drowning soul that I could save it, if I only would take action.

26 more months of self inflicted damage physically, mentally, and spiritually. I consider myself very fortunate that I went through that discomfort. And I learned the hard way.

Abstinence is NOT control.

I have crossed the line, and there’s no going back.

I don’t climb trees anymore, it was thrilling for a while, but it’s dangerous, I’m not that person anymore.

I don’t drink anymore, the thrill was gone, and it’s dangerous to me and others. I’m not that person anymore.

And I’m really okay. 🤓♥️

Free2bme888

Great replies here, and ditto Bim. Lots of active learning. LOTS. LOTS.

Settle in? Not sure, but enjoying the endless journey, yes. Keeping my side of the street right the best I know by trying to learn all the things that life throws to me as a sober person— that were impossible to see by the blindness, the stunted emotional growth and self care deficits cause by drinking.

Big hugs, Toddy
🤓♥️

fishkiller

I'm pretty much retired.
Most of my, well all of my, stress is self induced.
Has been forever. Even when I was working 2 jobs, raising a kid, getting divorced etc.
None of that is stressful unless I let it be.
Some may disagree and that's ok.

I've got to let it go. I can't control what is happening or gonna happen.

Sure there are major events that happen that are very stressful but we learn to manage that stress without alcohol.

For me that involves processing the event, feeling the feelings, then letting it go.

The universe is gonna do what it's gonna do whether I make myself worry sick about it or not.

Lost focus on the original question sorry,
Like I said I'm retired, moved twice to "reduce stress". But dang it if I wasn't there waiting for me when I got there both times.

I'm learning to process stress in healthy ways. Learning. I'm over 3 years off the sauce. It takes some of us longer than others but it's worth it my friend.

I wouldn't drink now if I was walking on clouds or being dragged through hell.

That ain't how I process life anymore.

fishkiller

👍👍