AmberD

I just wanted to introduce myself. I have been on a 3 day binge. It is almost 24 hours since my last drink. I had gotten sober 3 years ago and went to AA and then covid hit. I was so happy while sober and life was truly good. Alcohol fuels my anxiety and depression. I don’t want to get stuck in this trap again. My husband has taken a job within the last year that requires him to he travels a lot for work. I have zero desire to drink other than when he is not home. I believe I drink while he travels to help with the loneliness. I don’t want to do this anymore. I feel just awful today both mentally and physically today. I called in sick to work today. I’m loaded with the shame and guilt from lying. Does anyone have any ideas on things they’ve done to stop drinking when they are home alone and lonely. I just don’t want to spiral out of control again and hit rock bottom again. 3 years ago I almost lost my marriage and my job and I just don’t want to be at that place again. TIA

Dee74

Hi AmberD

Welcome

I used SR a lot when I was trying to stay sober - there's always someone around to help you, or someone that needs help - you must have learnt a lot in those 3 years - helping others helped me remember what I knew

Have you been back to AA?

D

Cityboy

I have always traveled a lot with work also,. Not that drinking required any special situations, but staying out was a special time to.me for really drinking alot. Never thought it would be possible to work out of town and not drink. On my first out of towner after I quit, I found an AA class in the town where I was staying and just went straight there after work before even going to the hotel every evening. Broke the old routine and gave me something else to look forward to. Of course reading and posting on SR was a life saver. Still is.

Hevyn

Welcome Amber! I'm so glad you're here.

I'm sorry for what you've been going through. I relapsed after 3 yrs. sober & had a horrible time getting back on track. When I found SR I felt instantly calmer & no longer alone. Just knowing others understood what I was going through meant everything. I hope you'll keep reading & talking to us - we care.

least

Welcome to the family! When I was starting my sober journey I also came here a lot and posted and read. It helped me stay sober.

Farrier

I never feel alone while reading SR. Keep checking back in with us, Texas.

Anna

Amber, I'm glad you're working on your recovery. My husband travelled a lot too, and it was a huge trigger for me to drink. I always hid my drinking, so when I was alone, it was so much easier. I planned ahead with small things when I knew I'd be alone. I'd do a mini-spa thing at home, I'd cook my favourite dinner, and I committed to long after supper walks which were so helpful. You can do this!

RecklessDrunk

In AA they say call another alcoholic, somebody's number from meetings. I called my sponsor everyday in my first 90 as per his instructions. I later realized the person you call doesn't have to be another alcoholic. Sometimes just talking to a regular friend. Doesn't even have to be because you feel sad or lonely or need a drink.

Maybe if you call your husband while he is away just to check in. You can hold yourself to that to let him hear that your voice is sober. Unless you can see yourself trying to fool him. I don't think I would trust myself trying to pull off a phone call to anyone I know really well with even with just a little buzz. In my younger days I would overestimate my ability to play it straight. As an older, seasoned, accomplished alcoholic I think I would know my limits and not try and contact anyone. Hopefully I never drink again and won't have to find out.

DriGuy

If the reason for drinking is because of loneliness, a non alcoholic could stop. If you have been going to AA you probably realize that you are unable to stop. I have no reason to doubt that you are lonely, but there is a better chance that your drinking is because of alcoholism. I never drank because I was lonely, but I had plenty of other reasons to explain my drinking, boredom being the one I used most often.

But the whole point is that if you are an alcoholic, your first order of business is to stop drinking. After I got sober, I realized my drinking was because of my addiction. The reasons why I drank were mostly irrelevant. In recovery, we often make it a point to avoid triggers, like avoiding a drinking get-together. But that's more like a temporary solution. There is only one solution to alcoholism. Stop drinking. Quite soon you will stop craving, and you will be free to find better solutions for loneliness.

I wish you the best. Sobriety is possible, and it's a wonderful experience. You don't have to depend on alcohol to fix anything.

brighterday1234

Alcoholics Anonymous sounds like a good bet. There are never reasons for an alcoholic to drink, just excuses. Stay sober, get recovering and a bright and hopeful future is available 🙏

Sober45

Stay on SR! In the early days for me I found sugar really helped. I've been sober 3 years now and still I have my chocolate right here by side as I write this.

At first, I found it hard to replace a sedating influence like alcohol with a good one like exercise.

Surrendered19

Hi Amber. Welcome to SR. Loneliness is a tough nut to crack. Learning to be comfortable with my own company was one of the early tasks when I became sober. I had to rethink many of those constructs like loneliness, boredom, etc. Spend some time writing down a plan to stay engaged with your community when your spouse is gone and perhaps look at the terms you use in your own head that lead to negative feelings. I eventually concluded that boredom and loneliness were really just peace, quiet and solitude that my overactive and abused psyche and body were not at all accustomed to or comfortable with. When I devoted some time to trying to sit with those quiet times I discovered that a few to several unscheduled hours during which I did not impose any expectations on myself were therapeutic because I was alone and it was quiet and my mind was at peace. Perhaps try to change the way you look at the times where it is just you.