Pregnant alcoholic. Have relapsed.
 

I am an alcoholic and I relapsed. Looking for similar situations and how did your baby turn out?

I drank nothing from week 4 of pregnancy recognition, then relapsed 10 times from week 11 - week 27. 😭

I binge drank once a week from week 11-15, twice at 22 weeks, twice at 24 weeks, and once last week. im now 28 weeks the guilt i feel is unbearable.

I wrote a similar post on reddit and got nothing but judgement and criticism from those who don't understand the beast of addiction and I am hoping I find more compassion in this forum.

thank you 😭🙏

Welcome Tilz :)

I'm a male so I have no experience to help you, but I think its obvious that the best thing to do now for both you and the baby is not drink anymore.

I'm an alcoholic so I know how had it is to quit - but there's a lot of support here and in other places like AA SMART etc., not to mention your doctor/s.

You're not alone - you can do this :)

D

Not to scare you but when my wife was pregnant she wanted to have one glass of wine on our anniversary. We checked with our ob gyn and she advised even one drink can cause fetal abnormalities.

I don't understand what you mean by judgement or criticism when it involves health of another young human being. To be very truthful it's kind of shocking to me.

Please for yourself and for the babys sake do not drink anymore, not even a bit. Sorry if this was not what you expected.

If you ever decide to drink again, read this to drive the beast away.

https://www.europeanscientist.com/en...o-development/

Most people don't judge here tilz, and I'm glad you found us.

You did well at weeks 4-11, and you can do it again.

As you probably know the worst time for a woman to drink is in the very early stages of pregnancy, and FAS is unpredictable when it comes to outcome. Everyone is different.

You don't say how much you drank during the binges tilz?

Your best bet would be stop drinking now tilz. You only have a few months until full term. Make it a goal to remain abstinent during this time. It'll help with the feelings of guilt, and will set you on the path for continued sobriety when baby is born. Keep it a day a time though tilz. :)

Lots of support here tilz. I hope you keep posting. And I hope you stop drinking, at least for these next few months. We will support you in this goal.

Maybe your wife was not an alcoholic calmself?

You are spot on Steely, as usual. But for some odd reason she was hoping that it would be ok as did I. We just checked on a hunch. Science has advanced with more findings on this topic since 2009.

Thanks for the support. Each time I binged it was alot, like 8-15 drinks over about 6 to 7 hours. I will keep coming back I need all the support I can get. I have tried AA in the past but my small home town only has one meeting per week and I'm grateful for all the online meetings these days. Maybe I will try smart recovery.

That's true calmself :)

Just didn't see the point in pointing out what tilz already knows. Probably been pouring over websites 'til the crack of dawn. And she's afraid.

Wanted to put forward some some gentle ideas that might help her make it through these next couple of months.

That's all we've got to do tilz. Day at a time until baby is born. 🐣

I'm glad your going to the one meeting available and taking advantage of online. Take advantage of every bit of support you can get. Soon baby will be born, hopefully with fears unfounded.

There is no doubt that you drank too much tilz, but it's not a certainty that baby will be effected. Reduce the risk, stop now, and keep coming here for support.

You can do it tilz.

You are Woman. :)

Welcome back Tilz
I can relate as also female. When I got pregnant I very luckily went off alcohol in the first trimester. It was even how I knew I was pregnant as I just couldn't drink my evening wine. Anyway, I digress. Despite not drinking from weeks 1-13 I did drink at around week 14 one weekend when we went away. Not something I think I've ever told anyone. I know how hard it is.

What's done is done all you can do now is tell your dr so at least they can monitor you and check the baby when it is born. And also staying on SR will give you help and support so you don't pick up again. I hope you stick around.x

Stay sober from now 🙏

Welcome to SR Tilz

I understand addiction can persist regardless of people, places, things including pregnaces. You are not at fault for your addiction but you are responsible for your recovery. You seem informed about the risks so how about starting a practice of recovery here at SR and like mentioned use AA, Smart, DBT AVRT.

Addiction doesn't wait around for people to make the right choices. Addiction takes away you choices until you do something about it in recovery.

When a need to stop drinking arises is when you realize to the fullest the depth of your addiction. Keep in mind that this thing you are fighting doesn't last long. In a week or two the need for alcohol will abate to the point where you won't have to rely on will power alone. Then you have to fall back on good judgement, and for most of us that's easier, because we all know what what we need to do.

But first get a few things straight. Two weeks of sobriety, broken by one relapse in the middle is only one week. You need to embrace that you are stopping for good. If your "light at the end of the tunnel" is that you will someday be able to drink again, it makes it much harder to quit, because recovery requires a full commitment, and you have to stop messing with alcohol. At least that made a big difference for me. Once I realized I wasn't going to be seeing how long I could go without drinking, but embraced a full stop, things got easier.

There was no easy way for me to quit. Recovery isn't easy until you embrace recovery as a permanent lifestyle. Then it gets easy. After the baby is born, you're going to want to remain sober anyway.

I’m sorry you are going thru such a hard time. You can’t predict the health of the baby from your previous binges but you can definitely do more harm by continuing, and I know you know that. When I was pregnant six years ago, I was worried sick I had harmed my baby because I drank heavily until I found out I was pregnant at 6 weeks. I stopped immediately after finding out. There was one day though I was so super stressed I drank one beer in my second trimester. The guilt from the one drink saved me from drinking anymore after that. Please continue to go to AA, even if just once a week and find online meetings as well. Reading “quit lit” might help you too.

After my baby was born, I slowly started back up and eventually was back to binge drinking daily. And raising a baby/toddler like that is mentally exhausting. I hope you can find a way to quit for good so you don’t have to go through the pain I did trying to quit with a young child.

It’s very difficult to stop drinking. Alcoholism is a beast.

When I became pregnant my addiction hadn’t yet developed, but my ex-husband’s alcohol abuse worsened. He wanted to stop “for the baby”, but he relapsed repeatedly. He had excellent intentions and great motivation, but he really struggled.

Men can certainly struggle to stop drinking during pregnancy. Women can, too. Both situations are sad and hard, but neither gender deserves more “blame” than the other for struggling. The stakes are higher when a pregnant person drinks, but high stakes aren’t sufficient for many addicts.

You are not a terrible person. You are a good person in need of professional help for your addiction.

You CANNOT change past mistakes.
You CANNOT predict the future with accuracy.
You CAN seek help, cease alcohol use, and be proud of yourself.

Chin up. You are loved and seen. This is hard, but you can do it. Your baby will benefit SO MUCH from your pursuit of sobriety.

Lots of good advice here tilz37. Are you able to discuss this with your ob-gyn? My professional training was in early childhood development and education, so I'm glad to hear you're working on your sobriety. I do hope you keep posting here for the support you need.

Great points O wise Steely. And awesome inputs from others as well. I hope OP gets the best help she needs. Please stay close to SR. It saved my career, health and life.

Hi and Welcome, I'm sorry you're struggling so much. FAS is unpredictable and what might affect you might not affect another woman. My best advice is to talk to your doctor now so that he/she can monitor you and baby. Following is a link of information we have (from the Journal of Pediatrics and from the Mayo Clinic).

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...pregnancy.html

I hope you keep checking in with us. You are definitely in our thoughts and prayers right now.

How are your doing now Tilz? I hope the responses have helped you and you stick arround for support :grouphug:

Tilz I'm not sure where you live but you definitely are not alone. Please pray and know you're doing the right thing by reaching out and asking for help. I know that in the city where I live there is an alcohol/drug residential treatment program designed specifically for pregnant women, and/or women that have small children and are ordered by the court system. I went voluntarily and it was one of the best choices I've ever made. My point is there are many programs available to help you treat your alcoholism and provide assistance with your pregnancy and other services, without judgement. Pls message me anytime. ❤️