feeling angry

My husband went into alcohol treatment 1 week ago and I am not handling this very well at first I was crying all the time and feeling lonely, but now I am mad because I feel like he left me behind to deal with life bills the grandkids the dogs while he up and disappears. I have only heard from him once since he left and that was to call and ask if put money on his card so he can go on an outing. I love him and want him to get better so that we can better our marriage but I just feel like he isnt missing me as much as I am misisng him ( selfish I know) but he could show some sort of feelings. Is this normal for me to be so critical. I keep asking myself if he will still love me when he comes home..

any advice is greatly appreciated

Zencat

Welcome to SR feeling angry.

Sorry your having a hard time.
When I went into inpatient rehab I wasn't allowed to make phone calls for the first 30 days. The first 30 days were intensive treatment days with each day, 6 out of 7 days, Sunday free time, but no visitors or phone calls.

Heres a link to family and friends of alcoholics here on SR https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/
Post there for more responses by those that have gone through what you are going through now.
Best wishes

Dee74

Hi and welcome feelingangry,

It’s tough when your partner goes into rehab. I’d try to consider that this something for your partners own good, and will hopefully have a flow on effect to your relationship.

It might sound like a holiday camp or luxury resort but most rehabs really aren’t like that.

you deserve support too, and there’s a lot of support here

I recommend you check out our Friends and Family forums mentioned above for even more support

D

Anna

Welcome, Feelingangry,

I hope that your husband is working hard and getting the help he needs. Of course, you need support too. You might check out AlAnon in your city as a support for you. As well, check out our Friends & Families forum for support.

Steely

What you are feeling is entirely normal Feelingangry. You are probably reflecting on how much you put up with whilst he was drinking, and now he's off to rehab., leaving you to carry the weight one more time.

I think it would be unusual for you not to be angry, probably a long history of feeling let down by him and it's coming to the surface. This can be healthy, and might give you what you need to not put up with any further nonsense when he comes home. To start focussing on you.

Not unusual for phone calls or contact to be restricted either, and reason why you haven't heard a lot from him.

I'd be trying to see this as a new start to your marriage, and that he's getting well at last.

And just as important, that you start to focus on yourself. It's not all about him, remember.

Lots of support for you here. Take advantage of it.

Farrier

My family is in the same boat with lot's of resentment towards me now. I left for rehab last year in May for a in-patient 30 day, then outpatient treatment and sober living for 6 more months. I wanted sobriety and so did my family. I had to do it on my terms when I was ready and I had to change my focus on myself and not my family. Your spouse has to get sober for themself, not you or anyone else......that will come in due time.

For now I hope you can focus on yourself, your needs, and I highly suggest that you find an Al Anon group for support. If nothing is available locally, there are hundreds of online Zoom type meetings.

You can't really be part of his recovery right now but Al-Anon will help YOU understand what is going on in your life right now and give you lot's of new coping tools. You will also make some new friends like you've never had before.