Tetrax

I just feel like a bender broke up life in a reasonable way. Sober gets a bit boring?

Tetrax

Just send @MissMiserymy way. Love will tear us apart.

DriGuy

Yuk!
I think it's pretty hard to get an actual runner's high. I only had what I think was the equivalent once. It was a strenuous 19 mile mountain hike with a short break for lunch that crossed over a very high ridge. Around 2:00 PM with 3 miles left to go, I was overcome with the most pleasant high I've ever experienced from exerting myself. I've had many highs in the mountains, but all of them outside of that one had to do with sweeping vistas or close encounters with wildlife. I remember just feeling wonderful, even my aches and pains felt wonderful, and with no one around, I said out loud the most absurd thing, "I love my feet!"

SproutLife

Somebody once said on here that you never know what fun thing will peak your interest and what you might be good at. The best part of being sober is that you can just keep trying new things! Try primitive clay bowl making or speaking Russian or reading war novels or baking or welding or traveling or rock hounding or literally anything!

ToughChoices

Dancing, snorkeling, sex, making macarons, eating macarons, getting a massage, helping someone in need, jumping in really cold water, karaoke, having your fortune told, watching kids play basketball, getting all dressed up for dinner with friends, driving fast with the windows down, eating ice cream in a hot tub

Dee74

I had to be sober a while before I understood what people meant by life getting better.
I was starting to think that a joyless flat existence was the price I'd pay for not quitting soon enough...

It turned out I just needed more patience - and a quiet faith in the folks who'd been there before me .

D

Hodd

I bet if you stop running for a few days or weeks, it feels like there’s something missing, Tet? I don’t think I get that runners’ high either, but something feels amiss if I stop for a few days.

I can’t disagree more that sobriety is boring. With a clear head and the extra energy that sobriety brings, you can do so many things. You’re a runner which is a great attribute to have. Why not harness that and train for an event? What about joining a running club? These are a great laugh and cater for slower walkers right up to speedy marathon types.

Doing something else becomes self perpetuating. You’ll forget about drinking and start having goals to aim for. You’ll soon realise that drinking gets in the way of these goals, and then before you know it, you’re months or even years sober and don’t really understand why you used to drink.

Mummyto2

Do you honestly think drinking is fun then ? I can't remember the last time I could honestly say I had great fun drinking last night or actually remember what I said or what occurred. I think we need to try all different things ie clubs, hobbies, gym, learning a new language/sport etc to see what we get passionate about, it may take a while but it's got to be better than waking up with that foggy crappy feeling.

Kaily

I think anything that is a challenge gives a high when you succeed. Often I walk further than I am comfortable with but it gives me a good feeling to challenge and complete it.

Maybe the high is that it's over, I don't know

This winter I did a paint by numbers, took me weeks. It was surprisingly relaxing with music playing in the background and again a sense of achievement when it was finished.

You're doing great Tetrax, well done. Maybe a bit of boring is good sometimes

Hodd

👍🙂 I’m not going to promote any pub chains on here, but I often go to a certain pub chain in the UK for a coffee at maybe 10 or 11 in the morning. There are some sorry sights to behold. Men, usually, in their forties or even thirties with a beer at breakfast time. They are without exception a picture of poor health, deep unhappiness and wasted lives. Me, I drink my coffee and can carry on with my running, gym or (sadly) working without being weighed down by beer sloshing about inside me. Excuse the pun, but my morning pub visits are a sobering experience.

“This winter I did a paint by numbers, took me weeks. It was surprisingly relaxing with music playing in the background and again a sense of achievement when it was finished.”

That done sound awesome, Kally. Well done! I’m going to look into that. Thanks 😊 Oh wow! There are even paint by numbers kits for landscapes of places I’ve loved visiting such as Cornwall here in the U.K.! This is awesome 😎

Tetrax

Yeah, sorry gang. I have got into a pattern of getting a month or so sober then going back out.

zenithboy88

​​​​​​
I did the same for a long time Tet,
I just never seemed to get there.
I kept fooling myself that things are better when I drink.
But after 2 months sober I realize nothing is farther from the truth.
A key part is doing different things, hobbies, activities, volunteering, etc.
As others have said.
It just makes it harder if you quit and live the exact same existence as when a drinker.
It was for me anyhow.
Keep trying Tetrax, change things up even in small ways.
Don't give up trying.

Mummyto2

Yeah i know which place your on about, I imagine it is a sobering experience, yes painting by numbers is theraputic I used to do this with my kids.

Mummyto2

Stay vigilant.

fishkiller

For me early on it was important to break patterns.
Get past that month and see what's on the other side.
Once you are sober a while and do The Work you will see sobriety is anything but boring.
It's a whole new life.
Embrace it

Tetrax

Honestly, I feel like I'm getting there. I now completely love being sober; it just feels like I need to find something to get me over the line to long-term sobriety. But I don't feel too bad about myself because it's only in the last few years that I've spent ANY time going to bed sober. From about 18-30 I literally never did it.

samwitch

This. 100%!!!

And Hodd's reply about the local pub too.

@Tetrax -I hear what you're saying and you're about the same place as me, time wise; I think we are in the stage of building the life after drinking. And I imagine it takes the next couple months or more to let that sort itself out. I hope you don't give up before you get some more time under your belt, I think the next couple months will be amazing for us at this stage.

joe801

I try and not search for highs just maintain a plateau or consent baseline. I now understand boredom as activities that could be done but there is no interest in doing them.

I now accept my only free time is on the weekends, the personal reasonable activities come first and then time for hobbies. My hobbies keep me at the happy/content baseline without getting it too high that those hobbies would interfere with my lifestyle. My lifestyle would sobriety & dietary choices once I quit alcohol. My hobbies support my lifestyle of sobriety & dietary choices, one example since I'm on a very strict extremely low carb-no sugar diet really called keto, I've felt exercise is something I enjoy and actually want and think about doing a lot.

That was just one example with the diet it supports a content baseline no highs and lows no crashes. I believe if anything the results of productive activities, hobbies and lifestyle is the "high". The low for me would going back to anxiety, back to a bloated stomach that is now flat with definition, financial worry, relationship issues beyond salvage, total life destruction.