Five
 

Today I am writing from a cafe in B'tol (UK), my birthplace "way back when". I live in Australia now and have for close to twelve years.

As the title of this thread suggests, today (Friday 20th January, 2023) I have five years sober. I am sat next to a very close friend the morning after the wake of another friend, Sophie. Sophie passed away due to merciless cancer. She was just 46 years old. I flew over to support the friend I am sat by - she has really struggled with Sophie's passing. They were living together before Sophie moved into a hospice.

With five years sobriety, I have the wherewithal to provide genuine comfort and support. Me... Giving support to another human and not related to addiction or alcohol... I know many people will understand the gravity, the astonishment of actually giving that support. It would, obviously, not be a reality without sobriety.

This site, the people on it, you, continue to play a huge role in my sobriety. We are all in this together. The opposite of alcoholism is connection. Or so I have often read. I found after a couple of years of sobriety, questioning that statement. I felt like something was wrong with me or my sobriety was flawed because I often found myself being frustrated with many people. I learnt that connection does not mean I have to connect with everyone! I learnt that I have the ability to choose who I connect with, who I spend time with. I learnt that I had done enough work to be able to trust myself and my judgement. A wonderful realisation.

Echoing sentiments that are written by many who reach milestones, it is so worth it.

My first five years sober was 2004-2009 and I went back out. It took me a little over eight years to get my sobriety back. It does not get better. We don't "mend" ourselves, or figure out the elusive answer to be able to moderate and drink like normal people. It would be wonderful to write that I am now close to 20 years, but that was not what my journey had in store for me.

Life is a beautiful thing.

Kx

Wow congratulations on 5 years sober and sorry for your loss.

Hi Kejun,
. I'm sorry about the loss of Sophie and for the grief your Friend must have at this time.
I lost my beautiful wife to cancer when I was 47,
My drinking spiraled, I'm 62 now.
. I quit however 6 weeks ago today.
I've always been a bit of a solitary individual, keeping to myself.
But I have to say that I can't curse alcohol itself too much as I've met a lot of nice folks thru SR and I'm learning to help others.
This common thread we all have and doing our best to support others helps us to grow.

I wish I was in a coffee shop in the UK.
I'm having my coffee now across the pond and my cat is clawing my arm for attention!
Congrats on your 5 years and I hope your day goes as well as it can under the circumstances

Congratulations!

Good Work on 5 YEARS!

I know your situation all too well. We lost my BIL unexpectedly a few months ago and being sober and clear headed helped me help my sister through it. I was the one standing there if needed. I was the one who was there at all hours of the night.

No way I would have been of use if I was drunk.
That right there is priceless. Another gift of sobriety.

You are a good friend and human

Congratulations on five years and your growth during that time.

I find posts like yours eye opening, Kejun. We all should. Even after your first five years, drinking dragged you back in, and that could be any of us. We need to be ever wary.

Thanks for posting and huge well done on 5.

Many years ago, before I knew anything about alcoholism, one of the first things I remember reading was a quote in an article taken from some supposedly respected official source (undoubtedly not staffed by any alcoholics) that after 5 years of abstinence, an alcoholic is considered cured. That was in my lifetime. Well, we've come a little ways as a society since then.

Thank you, Kejun, for your beautiful post.

It is so wonderful that you can be of such support to your friend in her time of great loss - a very meaningful connection which, in alcoholism, may not have been possible. The goodness of sobriety unfolds in so many ways.

Congratulations on your fantastic five years of sobriety.

Driguy I am a shining example of the incurable disease of alcoholism. I was 10 years sober from 1993-2003. I started drinking again then and for years struggled to get back to sobriety. Most I had was 42 days until 10/2/22 when I decided it was quit or die sooner than I wanted to. Still not sure if I have suffered irreversible damage. Have a doctors appointment in February for a follow from early November blood test that showed elevated liver levels. Also have discoloration around my eyes that hasn’t fully cleared after 110 days without alcohol.

Long story short I am proof alcoholism is definitely not curable.

I didn’t realise that, Runner. It’s scary, but praise to you too for being so brave to post about it. It’s hugely appreciated. I really hope you get back to the good ways soon 🙂

So nice to see you here, Kejun. I'm sorry you lost your friend, Sophie. Good that you can face things with eyes wide open.
Congratulations on your 5 yrs. of sobriety.

Congratulations, Kejun. I'm very sorry for the loss of your friend, Sophie.

Runner, even if the results need more work it's almost certain progress has been made toward better health.

I assume many members here are older than I, even with age the liver usually stays around three years old - technically according to medical documentation a 3 year old, 40 year old, 75 year old all has a liver the same age as the liver regenerates so quickly the organ almost never ages.

Sometimes it takes many months to a year for things to even out and get better.

Thanks all for your thoughts. I am committed to getting it out of my life this time. Your support is more valuable than I can express and know I am here to help any of you in anyway I can.

I'm proud to be sober with you Kejun. Congratulations on your 5 years.

You are a great friend.

I'm so very sorry.

I’m thrilled for your 5 years, but I’m also very sorry about the loss of your friend Kejun - cancer is a cruel thing,

D

Thank you Kajun, and congrats!

Thanks for sharing your 5 years sober with us Kejun

Alcoholism is the opposite of connection. So profound, Kajun, and so true.