Kejun

zenithboy - thank you for replying. As I have gotten older, I marvel, I am totally astounded with the strength you and others display to "keep going". I feel massive reverence for people who struggle through following a loss of a loved partner. In my five years, there have been tests to my sobriety, but I am aware that it doesnt come close to the test you and others have been forced to take.

​----
Thank you to the other responses. I have posted in the past that I do not write often, but I continue take away a lot of wisdom and support from this forum, or rather the people writing on it. I attended an in-person AA meeting with my friend yesterday (she is not an addict), but was keen to come along. She was inspired by the displays of vulnerability, the brutal honesty shared and collective support. I liken going to a meeting to filling up a gas tank for the soul. It reminded me, as they always do, that we are all battling through, one day at a time, perhaps for some of us doing it tough, one hour at a time, maybe even a minute or few seconds... I explained to my friend that part of the miracle for me was hearing people tell my story, sometimes eerily familiar but with one constant, finding our "medicine", finding a way to make the pain stop. We only delay it and temporarily. Drinking is a short term measure and does not solve anything. Sure, it can feel good, but we all know, we cannot stay in that altered state of mind where our decision making is impaired, judgement skewed and reality unhinged.

I am five years and one day today. In a few days, I will be in uncharted waters for me. I made a mistake in my first post and said I once had five years sober. I had five years "not drinking". I didn't do the work, I didn't do any work. I was a dry drunk and I am so ridiculously blessed and lucky to have fought, clawed and scrambled my way to five years - but this time, five years sober. Really and actually sober.

To the people who replied, to the people who have not, to all of you: my warmest wishes and blessings.

Kx

brighterday1234

Congratulations on 5 years sober and thanks for sharing 🙏

january161992

AL48

Congratulations on 5 years Kejun. Sorry for yours and your friends loss. Its great you can be there.

VikingGF

Sorry for the loss of your friend, Kajun. What a blessing to be able to comfort your mutual friend- now you are a gift to others. Congratulations on your 5 years, and thank you for your post. We can never be cured, and must never forget.

Zebra1275

Congratulations on 5 years!

Worried14

Well done on 5 years Kejun, nice posts, and yes, life is a beautiful thing.