Need to quit and can't seem to find a way
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New England
Posts: 4,420
Hi, sober2023,
Welcome to SR. You've already experienced how much there is to learn in the very beginning- your body will yell at you and your brain will lie to you but we will give you the support and straight talk to get you through the hard stuff- then you can do the work. I hope you find the peace and sobriety you are looking for. For me, it took an open mind and a true leap of faith after years of failure and relapse until I got my life back. And a sober life is better than a drunk one- no matter what. I promise.
Welcome to SR. You've already experienced how much there is to learn in the very beginning- your body will yell at you and your brain will lie to you but we will give you the support and straight talk to get you through the hard stuff- then you can do the work. I hope you find the peace and sobriety you are looking for. For me, it took an open mind and a true leap of faith after years of failure and relapse until I got my life back. And a sober life is better than a drunk one- no matter what. I promise.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
Hi Sober2023,
I understand where you are at. To summarise it I think nobody can see what a sober life looks like until they actually do it, especially someone like you (and me), who started early.
You have to take a leap of faith, and make a choice that come what it may, you’ll face it sober.
How you do that is the million dollars question, we all have our own experience. But I can guarantee you that if you truly set your mind to it you will work out what the answer is for you.
Plenty of support here, and seems like plenty of awesome new things for you to focus on going forward.
you won’t regret it.
I understand where you are at. To summarise it I think nobody can see what a sober life looks like until they actually do it, especially someone like you (and me), who started early.
You have to take a leap of faith, and make a choice that come what it may, you’ll face it sober.
How you do that is the million dollars question, we all have our own experience. But I can guarantee you that if you truly set your mind to it you will work out what the answer is for you.
Plenty of support here, and seems like plenty of awesome new things for you to focus on going forward.
you won’t regret it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 2,426
Hi Sober2023. Before I quit I also didn't want anyone "being preachy" or "attempting psychology" or doing or saying any other effin thing that would separate me from my booze. Classic AV strategy to keep you drinking. I hope you come to the conclusion that nobody here is preaching. We're all just telling you what we think. I also hope you eventually realize too that although nobody should be "attempting psychology" on you who isn't a psychologist, this thing is VERY psychological as much as it is physical.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: France
Posts: 3,040
Hi i didn't mean to come across preachy or anything like that sober2023 we are all here hoping for the same thing, to me it just sounded more like the AV talking than the person who want's to get better, and that sneaky AV is a bloody pain, wishing you well
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Posts: 2,909
Up to now there haven't been many incentives.
I don't know much, but my experience thus far, that much I do know and it can't be denied, even by me. The life I have today is all I was ever wanted in the first place. I am at peace. I still encounter storms, but hey, that is okay...I am at peace.
I spent years chasing what I wanted. All of those things were nothing but elusive butterflies. Today I get what I need and I want what I get. I get the real me...and that is enough. It is priceless.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,169
Originally Posted by sober2023 
You are right it is very hard to get through the first few days on your own. Let alone a lifetime
OK, there's a little more than just abstinence. Commitment and lifestyle changes need to accompany abstinence if you are shooting for long term recovery, at least I believe this to be true, but there may be people that can just stop and be done with it. But I think it's probably rare. I believe I may have been able to just stop and be done with it, but I don't think I would appreciate life as much as I currently do.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 259
Greetings.
I've been sober for a few years now and I used to be a binge drinker up into middle age. I started out as a "normal drinker" in my late teens and over time turned into a binge drinker who would go on 5 day vodka binges because I didnt want to stop after the first drink. This was a slow progression and in my early 40s I still thought I had a handle on it because even then I was only going out on weekends and leaving when the bar closed. But when I passed the tipping point, the downslide was fast and intense.
When I was drinking, I used to think that being sober all the time would be awful. In fact, I used to think it would be impossible to live life without the occasional drink (the occasional drink turning into 5 days, mind you). My biggest worry when I quit was that I would only make it about 4 months and go on a wild bender and feel like a failure. But that never happened because I was committed to seeing what my life could be like without alcohol and I took it serious. I put in a lot of work and made a bunch of changes in my life.
When I first got sober, I used to have euphoric recall quite a bit. Remembering the "good times" was triggered by all sorts of things like music, movies, sports events, etc. I had to do a lot of introspection and think about what itch the drinking was scratching for me. I also studied a lot on the bio chemistry of alcohol to understand why people seemed more interesting when I was drinking, why I felt more relaxed, why I felt like I was on adrenaline when alcohol is a depressant etc. I found some good resources and answers to my questions but I had to be proactive with books, videos and podcasts.
Nowadays, I rarely have that euphoric recall of the drinking days because those memories have alll been replaced by sober experiences. And with time I can look back at all the nights I spent drinking in bars with "friends" and honestly say those times weren't as great as I used to imagine them. Whereas I would hear a song and be reminded of an epic pool game I won with a friend and how we all cheered and people bought us shots, I now remember that I ended up staggering home alone afterwards and, watching YouTube videos until 7am the next morning so I could walk to the liquor store to buy a half gallon of vodka and refusing to answer my phone for a day and then had a bad hangover for 2 days.
Thats one example of how my perception of my drinking has changed. If you had asked me back when I was in the thick of it, I would have told you that its not really causing me much of a problem and there was nothing better to do except drink.
I've been sober for a few years now and I used to be a binge drinker up into middle age. I started out as a "normal drinker" in my late teens and over time turned into a binge drinker who would go on 5 day vodka binges because I didnt want to stop after the first drink. This was a slow progression and in my early 40s I still thought I had a handle on it because even then I was only going out on weekends and leaving when the bar closed. But when I passed the tipping point, the downslide was fast and intense.
When I was drinking, I used to think that being sober all the time would be awful. In fact, I used to think it would be impossible to live life without the occasional drink (the occasional drink turning into 5 days, mind you). My biggest worry when I quit was that I would only make it about 4 months and go on a wild bender and feel like a failure. But that never happened because I was committed to seeing what my life could be like without alcohol and I took it serious. I put in a lot of work and made a bunch of changes in my life.
When I first got sober, I used to have euphoric recall quite a bit. Remembering the "good times" was triggered by all sorts of things like music, movies, sports events, etc. I had to do a lot of introspection and think about what itch the drinking was scratching for me. I also studied a lot on the bio chemistry of alcohol to understand why people seemed more interesting when I was drinking, why I felt more relaxed, why I felt like I was on adrenaline when alcohol is a depressant etc. I found some good resources and answers to my questions but I had to be proactive with books, videos and podcasts.
Nowadays, I rarely have that euphoric recall of the drinking days because those memories have alll been replaced by sober experiences. And with time I can look back at all the nights I spent drinking in bars with "friends" and honestly say those times weren't as great as I used to imagine them. Whereas I would hear a song and be reminded of an epic pool game I won with a friend and how we all cheered and people bought us shots, I now remember that I ended up staggering home alone afterwards and, watching YouTube videos until 7am the next morning so I could walk to the liquor store to buy a half gallon of vodka and refusing to answer my phone for a day and then had a bad hangover for 2 days.
Thats one example of how my perception of my drinking has changed. If you had asked me back when I was in the thick of it, I would have told you that its not really causing me much of a problem and there was nothing better to do except drink.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 41
Originally Posted by ciowa
Greetings.
I've been sober for a few years now and I used to be a binge drinker up into middle age. I started out as a "normal drinker" in my late teens and over time turned into a binge drinker who would go on 5 day vodka binges because I didnt want to stop after the first drink. This was a slow progression and in my early 40s I still thought I had a handle on it because even then I was only going out on weekends and leaving when the bar closed. But when I passed the tipping point, the downslide was fast and intense.
When I was drinking, I used to think that being sober all the time would be awful. In fact, I used to think it would be impossible to live life without the occasional drink (the occasional drink turning into 5 days, mind you). My biggest worry when I quit was that I would only make it about 4 months and go on a wild bender and feel like a failure. But that never happened because I was committed to seeing what my life could be like without alcohol and I took it serious. I put in a lot of work and made a bunch of changes in my life.
When I first got sober, I used to have euphoric recall quite a bit. Remembering the "good times" was triggered by all sorts of things like music, movies, sports events, etc. I had to do a lot of introspection and think about what itch the drinking was scratching for me. I also studied a lot on the bio chemistry of alcohol to understand why people seemed more interesting when I was drinking, why I felt more relaxed, why I felt like I was on adrenaline when alcohol is a depressant etc. I found some good resources and answers to my questions but I had to be proactive with books, videos and podcasts.
Nowadays, I rarely have that euphoric recall of the drinking days because those memories have alll been replaced by sober experiences. And with time I can look back at all the nights I spent drinking in bars with "friends" and honestly say those times weren't as great as I used to imagine them. Whereas I would hear a song and be reminded of an epic pool game I won with a friend and how we all cheered and people bought us shots, I now remember that I ended up staggering home alone afterwards and, watching YouTube videos until 7am the next morning so I could walk to the liquor store to buy a half gallon of vodka and refusing to answer my phone for a day and then had a bad hangover for 2 days.
Thats one example of how my perception of my drinking has changed. If you had asked me back when I was in the thick of it, I would have told you that its not really causing me much of a problem and there was nothing better to do except drink.
I've been sober for a few years now and I used to be a binge drinker up into middle age. I started out as a "normal drinker" in my late teens and over time turned into a binge drinker who would go on 5 day vodka binges because I didnt want to stop after the first drink. This was a slow progression and in my early 40s I still thought I had a handle on it because even then I was only going out on weekends and leaving when the bar closed. But when I passed the tipping point, the downslide was fast and intense.
When I was drinking, I used to think that being sober all the time would be awful. In fact, I used to think it would be impossible to live life without the occasional drink (the occasional drink turning into 5 days, mind you). My biggest worry when I quit was that I would only make it about 4 months and go on a wild bender and feel like a failure. But that never happened because I was committed to seeing what my life could be like without alcohol and I took it serious. I put in a lot of work and made a bunch of changes in my life.
When I first got sober, I used to have euphoric recall quite a bit. Remembering the "good times" was triggered by all sorts of things like music, movies, sports events, etc. I had to do a lot of introspection and think about what itch the drinking was scratching for me. I also studied a lot on the bio chemistry of alcohol to understand why people seemed more interesting when I was drinking, why I felt more relaxed, why I felt like I was on adrenaline when alcohol is a depressant etc. I found some good resources and answers to my questions but I had to be proactive with books, videos and podcasts.
Nowadays, I rarely have that euphoric recall of the drinking days because those memories have alll been replaced by sober experiences. And with time I can look back at all the nights I spent drinking in bars with "friends" and honestly say those times weren't as great as I used to imagine them. Whereas I would hear a song and be reminded of an epic pool game I won with a friend and how we all cheered and people bought us shots, I now remember that I ended up staggering home alone afterwards and, watching YouTube videos until 7am the next morning so I could walk to the liquor store to buy a half gallon of vodka and refusing to answer my phone for a day and then had a bad hangover for 2 days.
Thats one example of how my perception of my drinking has changed. If you had asked me back when I was in the thick of it, I would have told you that its not really causing me much of a problem and there was nothing better to do except drink.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 259
Originally Posted by Kristoff
Great post....can I ask, what good resources did you find........would appreciate some recommends
How are you doing? I read several books about personal struggles and recovery but the book that made the most impact on me was "Alcohol Explained" by William Porter. It answered a lot of questions for me about why and how alcohol was having such a big emotional and psychological impact in addition to the physical. It also convinced me that there was no going back to day 1 when it comes to drinking. Some of the essays by Gabor Mate were helpful for me too.
There was one podcast I used to listen to was Recovery Elevator which does a couple of interviews with people in recovery each episode. I used to listen to the podcast in the morning while I was taking a morning walk to start the day.
Videos from a behavioral perspective were useful for me too. Youtube has a lot of videos about mindfulness, triggers, first year in recovery etc, I also made use of support groups in the first year like AA and Smart. The first year I put a lot of work into recovery until many things I learned became incorporated back into my life. Those are just a few. I hope this helps
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