Back again, life is tough out there
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 1,598
Back again, life is tough out there
Been on and off the boards and in and out of AA since 2011. On and off the boards here since 2014. Short story: Emotionally, physically, spiritually currently beat up. Bad. Fear is the prevalent problem, and shame. Shame of all that I've done throughout the years. Fear of if I can ever get right.
Long story: 7 days ago I was at the end of a week long binge. Probably my tenth in the last 3 months. Not even knowing what day it was so missing work. 172/122 blood pressure. 30lbs of weight gain on a short frame. Complete and utter demoralization. Ex-wife took the kids for a while because I came clean (big mistake). So I detoxed at home for about 6 days. And what was funny about detox is that I had to drink because the full body convulsions were taking hold. So I had to drink a little less every day. Drinking a little less is not my most proficient skill. But somehow I did it. Took my last drink on the 12th and my sobriety date is 1/13/23. I like the numbers and I like that my date is on Friday the 13th.
So here I am. I've been going to meetings for 5 days straight, got a sponsor, ready to take direction.
Just wanted to say hello to everyone. And say hi to all the great people here that have supported me through the years.
Long story: 7 days ago I was at the end of a week long binge. Probably my tenth in the last 3 months. Not even knowing what day it was so missing work. 172/122 blood pressure. 30lbs of weight gain on a short frame. Complete and utter demoralization. Ex-wife took the kids for a while because I came clean (big mistake). So I detoxed at home for about 6 days. And what was funny about detox is that I had to drink because the full body convulsions were taking hold. So I had to drink a little less every day. Drinking a little less is not my most proficient skill. But somehow I did it. Took my last drink on the 12th and my sobriety date is 1/13/23. I like the numbers and I like that my date is on Friday the 13th.
So here I am. I've been going to meetings for 5 days straight, got a sponsor, ready to take direction.
Just wanted to say hello to everyone. And say hi to all the great people here that have supported me through the years.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: New England
Posts: 1,476
Glad you reached out again. All are here for mutual support. Keep it simple going forward—- just don’t drink no matter what. Then deal as best you can with the rest. Drinking never solves problems, makes them easier to endure or makes them go away.
Sending you my best.
Sending you my best.
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 3,943
Nice to see you again, BABM, albeit not in the nicest circumstances.
What’s causing the fear? Sounds like that needs addressing along with other changes. Really hope we can help you get through this. And well done for stopping when you did.
What’s causing the fear? Sounds like that needs addressing along with other changes. Really hope we can help you get through this. And well done for stopping when you did.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
Oh man, brother, glad you made it back. What a nightmare. So sorry you had to go through all that but I know you can do this. You have before.
We've missed you on the 180, too. The coffee's always on!
We've missed you on the 180, too. The coffee's always on!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: UK
Posts: 3,515
Welcome back BABM. Those blood pressure readings are very high and as you probably are aware, dangerous. Do you have any support groups you can attend as well as AA? Staying off alcohol will help get both your blood pressure and weight down.
Good to hear you've got other support too 
keep coming back
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Happy to have you back with us, BABM.
I also got off it by tapering, which I realize is not recomended - but I had been drinking all day for a long time. It worked for me - that was the very last time I took a sip. (15 yrs. ago) In the end, it tasted like poison to me. I knew I'd never put myself through that hell again.
You can do it - there is no doubt. Let's go.
I also got off it by tapering, which I realize is not recomended - but I had been drinking all day for a long time. It worked for me - that was the very last time I took a sip. (15 yrs. ago) In the end, it tasted like poison to me. I knew I'd never put myself through that hell again.
You can do it - there is no doubt. Let's go.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
BABM, I'm so glad that you are back with us.
I hope you can step back from the shame you're feeling, because, if you're like me, it'll lead you back to drinking. You're here, you're sober and you have a plan to stay that way. Those are all great things. We're here for you.
I hope you can step back from the shame you're feeling, because, if you're like me, it'll lead you back to drinking. You're here, you're sober and you have a plan to stay that way. Those are all great things. We're here for you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2019
Posts: 743
I remember you well as you were pretty active for quite a while here and the user name kind of sticks out.
Every now and then I would wonder where you were and if you were doing well. I'm really glad you are back. I look foward to your future posts and continuing through this journey of recovery with you.
You are new again but you have been around the block just as all of us Different blocks but "around the block". As much as you need us, we need you as well.
Every now and then I would wonder where you were and if you were doing well. I'm really glad you are back. I look foward to your future posts and continuing through this journey of recovery with you.
You are new again but you have been around the block just as all of us Different blocks but "around the block". As much as you need us, we need you as well.
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